Kpopalypse Nugu Alert Episode 82 – Jeong Dahan, Moon Songhee, Kim Jooyoung, Kwak Younggwang
The first nugu series in all of the k-pop Internet, and the series that first promoted the word ‘nugu’ in the English k-pop online space as a positive term*, Kpopalypse Nugu Alert, is now back in its eleventh year of giving you nugus! It’s time for the first nugus of 2024, let’s take a look!
For our first Kpopalypse Nugu Alert of 2024 we’re going to delve again deeply into that genre nobody who follows k-pop actually cares about, and that’s trot music! Yes, the nugu submissions in the trot style have certainly been building up, so let’s get to it! As an added twist, we’re looking at trot songs with drama-style music videos! If there’s one thing Kpopalypse readers have proven that they love it’s a good drama, so I made sure that these trot videos contained only the best drama content!
Usual criteria apply:
- Less than
20,0005,000 views on official channels, let’s keep it extra nugu, there’ll be none of this “calling C-list artists nugu for the extra web traffic” business - Even the most advanced AI can’t simulate how little you and your friends care about these artists
- Relevant to Kpopalypse
Read on for the nugus!
Jeong Dahan – Mudeungsan Tiger
There’s certainly a lot to digest in Jeong Dahan’s video, starting off with some acoustic guitar playing while people fight each other for no apparent reason, before we’re treated to a flashback that explains everything, even though after the explanation I’m just as confused as I was before. From what I can tell these three guys were just chilling on a mountain when some annoying trot fans rocked up to have a picnic or something, and so the guys ran all the way to town to kick the ass of their agency who gave their fans the tipoff. Okay, that’s probably wrong but whatever, it’s pretty good accompaniment to the song which isn’t bad and has lots of cool guitar solos. Extra points for the buff Siwon lookalike who really should have got his bulldog in for the martial arts fight.
YouTube views at time of writing: 3496
Notable attribute: nice acoustic guitar playing by trot Siwon there but hey your friends on the white team could use a little help in the fight
Nugu Alert rating: very high
Moon Songhee – Teojidateojyeo
Another song with a confusing-ass drama video that seems very open to interpretation. Some guy working in a shop is looking at kpopalypse.com on his phone when his ultra-buff workmate turns up and what’s with the super-buff guys in trot videos lately but hey whatever. Then muscle guy gets a massage and then Moon Songhee turns up and everyone waves awkwardly because we wouldn’t want anyone to think we’re gay or anything, next thing we might be making decent music. Then there’s some other scene with a guy cleaning the stage but then he just sort of gets shoved aside by the performers so I don’t know what’s going on there. The tune here is actually pretty bad anyway, the verses are okay but that chorus hook is just annoying as piss. At least Moon Songhee has her shoulder-shrugging exercises and BB cream application up to speed, every advantage is important in this trot music game.
YouTube views at time of writing: 3719
Notable attribute: the top shelf of produce has the products symmetrically arranged on both shelves for maximum visual appeal, but as they went to stack the shelves further down nobody could be bothered
Nugu Alert rating: very high
Kim Jooyoung – Reversal
The drama takes a little while to get started here, but from what I can tell, Kim Jooyoung is broke as shit and lamenting the fact that he is poor and in a lot of debt (relatable). So he does what any broke person does and buys lottery tickets, because that always works, apparently, plus he works out a lot, probably hoping to eventually get as buff as the other men in these videos so far as that seems to be a common route to trot success. At end of the video he suddenly experiences a “reversal” of some sort by way of a phone call which is enough to make him be suddenly happy and bin his lottery tickets. I don’t know what was said to him, perhaps he got word that his OnlyFans took off, or he was hired as an extra for Wonho’s post-military comeback dance routine. Whatever it was, it wasn’t news that he was featured on Kpopalypse Nugu Alert, as his song is fairly average and nobody reads these posts anyway.
YouTube views at time of writing: 2757
Notable attribute: I’ve been thinking about trying pegging just so I can write about receiving anal sex more realistically if I transition into erotic fiction writing (or gay prostitution) for the bucks but I have pretty low pain tolerance and am worried it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker, hey readers any tips help out a 30 year old twink cheers (figure this is safe to ask here as only about ten of my readers actually ever read Nugu Alert)
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
Kwak Younggwang – Ridiculous
Oddly the video with the least amount of views for this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert has the best song and also the most high-budget-looking video. Kwak Younggwang is taking a leaf out of Orange Caramel’s book here (which is never a bad thing) with a story revolving around “racquet sportball”, as he chases some girl around who promptly kicks his ass at tennis and then leaves because he doesn’t have the required muscle tone to be a trot performer who is successful with the ladies. The rest of the video seems to be mainly him getting over himself and trying to get the girl back, which thankfully fails for once because aren’t we sick of all those k-pop street harassment videos, yes we are. Anyway yeah song is decent and good work finding a purple tennis court to do the video on, I’ve got to say there aren’t too many of those in my area.
YouTube views at time of writing: 1892
Notable attribute: pretty neat ass-bounce skills at 1:10, I guess this is the guy I should be asking about the pegging thing
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
That’s all for this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! The series will return soon, probably long before you want it to!
*could be bullshit idk
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