Here at kpopalypse.com we love to reboot a good long-running series. We also love to reboot a completely shit long-running series that had been previously consigned to the dustbin for the greater good of humanity. Let’s lock in for another episode of Kpopalypse Plagiarism Fun Times!

Obviously I’ve resisted writing more k-pop plagiarism posts for the last eight years because I am a normal human with a brain and plagiarism in k-pop is always stupid shit that’s not even real or worth discussing. However one group has truly been plagiarism-maxxing lately and that is Illit, racking up far more plagiarism accusations than any other group in k-pop possibly ever. So I felt that I needed to do one of these posts in order to acknowledge the impact of the true plagiarism-dols of our time.

Before we get started, your ready reference of plagiarism-related trufax:

• Introduction to plagiarism
• Plagiarism explained a bit more because people kept fucking asking about it
• Plagiarism explained even more in a desperate last ditch attempt to shut people up (no such luck)

These old crusty links might be helpful if you’ve never read anything that I’ve written about plagiarism before (lucky you) or you’re struggling to understand any terminology. Once you’ve read the posts linked above, if you decide that you still give a shit, please let’s continue as we discuss

ILLIT

Before we get into the plagiarism, it’s probably important for you to get a picture of what I think of Illit in general.

What do I think of their songs? Like any k-pop group the quality varies, but generally speaking Illit’s hit-miss ratio is above average and they’re right now one of k-pop’s better girl groups for song quality. Maybe not so much for innovation, we’ll get to that shortly, but the better songs are really great and the crappier songs aren’t absolutely abysmal in the grand scale of crappy songs by k-pop groups.

What do I think of the members of Illit? Honestly I still don’t know who any of these girls even are. I do know that Minju is a Katarina one-trick main in League Of Legends with platinum rank and 700k mastery and if you don’t know what any of that shit means because you actually have a life just know that it means she’s even more of a fucking toxic nerd than I am, but I couldn’t pick her out in a crowd of people if she wasn’t midlaning at the time. That’s all I got.

It’s cool that I just copy-paste this same introduction each time I have to do one of these boring posts and make minor changes.  Anyway now that you have a full picture of exactly how much bias you can expect in this article, let’s move onto the Illit plagiarism accusations, and wow there are several:

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #1: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans because they are both a girl group

NewJeans (probably)

NewJeans (probably not, but then again, maybe)

Illit and NewJeans are both girl groups on the same label (kind of) with five members (kind of) and so therfore Illit is clearly copying NewJeans. Yes this is a real accusation and yes it even went to court so you know it’s srs bzns. The court ruled however that you cannot copyright simply being a k-pop.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #2: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because they had the same hair and clothes

Hanni from NewJeans on the lift, Moka from Illit on the right. Moka should have removed the tie and stood in front of a blander background to complete the look.

Apparently if you’re a hairdresser and two people come in wanting the same hairstyle, you have to cut it slightly differently for the second person or the first person could sue them. K-pop fans are pretty sure about this. Just wait until all those k-pop boys with short back and sides start suing each other.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #3: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because they both went to Paris fashion week

NewJeans on the left, ILLIT on the right. Standing and looking bored in front of a fashion logo is a plagiarism, of other bored people who get paid enough to enough to stand in front of a fashion logo. Wait, who thought “Acne Studios” was a good name? The fuck?

If you ever find yourself losing in life enough to where you might actually consider going to some lame fashion show, just know that if you weren’t the first person into the venue, you owe somebody else in the crowd royalties. For bonus points Illit were also accused of having “no star quality” when they attended this event, which also means they’re plagiarising other people with no star quality like Kpopalypse.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #4: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because they both did a hanbok photoshoot

NewJeans paved the way for hanbok photoshoots apparently, so when Illit also did a hanbok photoshoot, it was a plagiarism. Even wilder, apparently Illit’s company said “lots of other girl groups do this exact thing” and then Photoshopped some other girl groups’ hanbok photoshoots to make the colours match their own and NewJeans’ photoshoots more closely. This is trufaxual non-made-up thoughts from the Min Hee Jinster herself, so you know that it’s probably true, or if it isn’t, then it’s probably at least funny.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #5: ILLIT plagiarised BlackPink because BlackPink put pink text in capital letters in a pink box before ILLIT did it

Album covers of Blackpink’s first album, and Illit’s 4th mini album. Definitely two cases of pink text in capital letters in a bold font in a box over a black background in your area.

Just to mix things up a little, here’s a non NewJeans related plagiarism. Apparently it’s copyright to have a box around text. Don’t tell YG about that Microsoft Excel program or Bill Gates might have to put a hold on his Epstein statements to US congress so he can find time to appear in court in front of Jennie.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #6: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because they both had pre-debut content with a similar look

NewJeans predebut concept photo

Another NewJeans predebut concept photo… oh wait, this one’s Illit

School uniforms and shit photography have gone hand in hand in k-pop ever since H.O.T – except that H.O.T probably weren’t trying to look washed-out and crusty on purpose, they just didn’t have the pixels back then to do any better. However when Illit’s doing it, it’s apparently copying NewJeans. NewJeans also started the “random colourfully ugly clothes trend” and Illit probably did rip that off but then so did every other cunt in 2024. Still, that didn’t stop the big squeeze Min Hee Jin pointing this out herself, along with the parents of the NewJeans girls, who were apparently concerned that having their daughters look like absolute ass might somehow catch on and embarass everyone involved so they’d better clamp down on it before too many people copied it. Should have stepped up to the plate a bit quicker there, Mom and Dad.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #8: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because the choreographies for some songs are similar

Another accusation weirdly brought ot the table not just by k-pop fans but by Min Hee Jin who is an adult and should probably know better. Although if copyright applied to dance routines, you could sue everyone else in the line at line dancing so maybe that’s a good thing.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #9: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because both groups used fonts or something

Illit’s “Super Real Me” album comes with a super real shit title font

NewJeans apparently have copyright over all these fonts, especially the very innovative Helvetica font which isn’t also anywhere in particular

People made a fuss about these album fonts being similar. Seeing as how NewJeans have claimed most of the fonts that have ever existed in computer history, I expect more fontroversies soon… that is, if that group ever do anything again fucking ever besides sit on the couches in the HYBE building and mope.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation 10: ILLIT’s “Magnetic” plagiarises {insert any random NewJeans song here}

Illit apparently plagiarised some NewJeans song (doesn’t matter which one, just pick any one because you’re probably tone deaf anyway, the girl in this video picks two random ones because what is music really) plagiarising PinkPantheress plagiarising So Solid Crew and we should care apparently. I wish I was writing about PinkPantheress instead of fucking k-pop plagiarism arguments by useless wankstains right now.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #11: no, actually ILLIT’s “Magnetic” plagiarises IVE’s “OTT”

Except it doesn’t and they’re nothing alike other than being pop songs that go at the same BPM and have a roughly equivalent vocal meter.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #12: no wait, ILLIT’s “Magnetic” actually plagiarises some random R&B song from the 90s

Except the melodies are actually completely different and this fucker is literally tone deaf and reaching for the skies to get clicks. The last ultra-runny shit I did sounded more like “Magnetic” than this random-ass R&B song from some people I have never heard of and don’t care about because I am not randomR&Balypse.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #13: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because both groups used stickers for something or other

Some NewJeans stickers, for an album or some bullshit, although don’t ask me who in the fugly fuck is on that bottom right one

Some ILLIT stickers, for an album or some bullshit, god this looks like ass

Is your brain already falling on the floor? We’re not done yet! Apparently the idea of having stickers is a plagiarism now. Somehow NCT have managed to not be dragged into this particular controversy.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #14: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because both groups had some gay ass animation bullshit in a video

Here you can see the examples of NewJeans and Illit both doing gay ass animation bullshit in a video. Apparently only one group is allowed to do gay ass animation bullshit in a video, and if two groups do gay ass animation bullshit in a video, that’s a plagiarism of the other person’s gay ass animation bullshit in a video.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #15: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because ILLIT’s pedophile-pandering and child abuse is copying NewJeans’ pedophile-pandering and child abuse

We all know this one isn’t true. April paved the way so Min Hee Jin could walk along the path.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #16: ILLIT plagiarised some fashion label that sells white turtlenecks, because they wore white turtlenecks

If I was a fashion label I think I could easily double my income, by selling my fashions and then immediately suing whoever wore them.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #17: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans again because NewJeans did some fashion magazine thing and so did ILLIT

Wow, it’s almost like they’re both on the same parent company’s label who was able to lean on existing connections with the magazine editors to get both groups on the cover. What crazy plagiaristic times we live in.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #18: ILLIT plagiarised EXO because they did the L sign with their hands to promote some bullshit fandom name or whatever

Illit got into a spot of bother with deranged boy-fans when their fandom name Lillies was introduced and they thought they’d do a cute aegyo hand-shape to promote it – not so fast, young ladies! Anyone who thinks that the things I write in my fiction books aren’t realistic and are too far-fetched because how could stuff like that even possibly happen, just remember that we live in a real world where fans are earnestly trying to copyright making letter shapes with your hands. Talk about taking the L. Oh, and for bonus points they also pissed off fans of Blackpink’s Lisa and fans of NMIXX’s Lily with this one.

ILLIT plagiarism accusation #19: ILLIT plagiarised NewJeans yet again because they wore some… wait, what the fuck even is this?

What is a “sweat set”, that just sounds weird. Anyway Illit NewJeans plagiarism something something. You get the idea.

So there you go, that’s about it I think, and of course it’s all just some bullshit. I mean do I really need to go into any of this any deeper, of course not. Who gives a fuck anyway. But I think Illit do impress me as the new plagiarism-dols of the 2020s, I hope they keep it up and then I can do another post in eight more years with another 20 or so entries.

I’d better end this post with something actually real, as usual:

Completely trufaxual Kpopalypse ILLIT plagiarism accusation: Minju’s toxic Katarina midlane is a plagiarism of Eric Reprid’s toxic Zed midlane

Look at Minju here, gleefully smiling and laughing with her friends as her Katarina stomps on a bunch of little kids and makes them cry. What a little cunt. Definitely Kpopalypse stanning material.

But of course Eric Reprid got there first, as you can see he was talking about being a Zed midlane asshole back when cameras could only record in black and white. A true caonima.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed another Kpopalypse plagiarism post – Kpopalypse will return with more posts soon!

 

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

Looks like everyone’s bailing out on BPM Entertainment. Of course here we’re mainly concerned about what will happen to Viviz. Kpopalypse bias list could be due for a shake up?

BTS – Swim

Do you know how hard it was for me to write a review of the “Wings” album the other day and actually stay awake? Eighteeen songs and 95% of them are either slightly above average or slightly below average, with virtually nothing notable about any of them other than that they exist, what an ordeal. Anyway true to form their new song isn’t as great as their circle-jerking “speak yourself, love yourself, but bully everyone else” fandom are pretending it is, nor is it as shitty as the average k-pop fan reeling from a full decade of ARMYs online sexual/racial abuse wishes it was. It’s just the same old mid brand BTS have well and truly established over the last decade. They paved the way – and all the pavers are the same shade of grey.

Yuna – Ice Cream

Definitely one of the best songs to ever be paired with a horrible AI slop video. Imagine how good this video could have looked with actual effort put in, like k-pop video makers were doing only two short years ago. The golden age of k-pop videos is dead and isn’t coming back.

NMIXX ft. Pabblo Vittar – Tic Tic

And this is why I wish people wouldn’t ask me to review every live stage video ever as if it’s a proper release. If the song is any good, it will eventually get an actual MV anyway if the label have any sense. And if it sounds like “Tic Tic”, it probably still will. Anyway since I’ve already thrown down on this song on an inferior video version (which isn’t really fair on NMIXX tbh but that’s your fault not mine for begging that I cover a non-MV) I don’t have much to add, so I’ll just use this space to let you know that you can do the latest Kpopalypse survey if you want, it’s out now and still has some time left to run. If you love what I do you should do it, and if you hate what I do you should definitely do it because it’s a much more effective way of telling me to go fuck myself than yelling at clouds on social media. You even get to be anonymous, I don’t even get your IP address or geo-location or anything I promise. Oh and my new book Girls909 is available for ebook pre-order now and is out in about a week and a half and you should definitely not buy it. Don’t come crying to me with your emotional trauma later if you fail to heed this advice.

Latency – Latency

I really want to support Latency but they do not have a great song as of yet. This is no more or less interesting than what BTS churned out this week.

P1Harmony – L.O.Y.L

This entire song sounds like a fart.

CRAVITY – Blast Out

Not Cravity having a better song than BTS this week. I mean it’s not amazing but just imagine how nuts people would have gone for BTS if their new song had this much fast rhythm in it. People would be like “omg the kings are back, song of the century” but since Cravity has this song instead nobody will care.

ChoCo1 x ChoCo2 – Frenzy

AI-SloPo 1 x AI-SloPo2 are back and their music is certainly nothing that’s going to work the neighbours into a frenzy.

Cosmosy – Chance

People keep weirdly begging me to put Cosmosy in roundups even though nobody cares about them and they’re consistently hot garbage and barely even k-pop so here we go. Wow, they really suck. What a shit group. No songs at all. Get them out of here. Next. There, I hope that made the 1% of my readers who give a fuck happy, I’ll now go back to ignoring them for another year.

SANTOS BRAVOS – Mhm

And this is the other reason why I don’t want to put Cosmosy in roundups – because if I have to include them, then for fairness I also have to include HYBE’s shit “latin boy group” and damn does nobody on earth want that, not even HYBE stans.

BTOB – We Together

Definitely old folks home music, surely BTOB’s fanbase can’t be this decrepit.

N.TOP – Shining Star

I’m not sure what’s worse, the AI slop balloons because somehow depriving a small town of drinking water was easier than going to the local two-dollar store to get some real balloons, or the bullshit part at about 1:50 or so where they break the mood to go all mysterious on us or whatever. Either way, this is ass.

AmbiO – Showtime

Eh.

AFuture – Spring Shower

Definite “Future Idol” label vibes in this song, which somehow isn’t from Future Idol. They should have called the song “Spring Foyer” though to match the video.

Hyunjin – Lover

Hyunjin from Stray Kids has a better boy solo than every single boy solo in my “Wings” review. Not that that’s hard mind you as all those tracks are pretty mid, but the melodic choice here is actually reasonably good.

WOODZ – Stray

What the hell is going on with Woodz lately, he’s somehow not sucking. I’m not wildly into this particular form of Seotaiji-ish nu-metal but hey it’s still something better than what he’s usually known for.

H1GHR MUSIC – Superstar

A pretty cool beat, pity nobody here really knew what to do with it. That lazy-ass chorus hook definitely isn’t cutting it.

DinDin, Cho Hyun Young – Always You

Just an FYI that a Rainbow member exists and is doing stuff. Don’t press play on this horrible ballad though, you have been warned.

Xion feat. Woozi – Blooming

Nothing much happening here. I do like it how he asks a ton of people for directions and still gets lost. Perhaps he was trying to find a better song.

Kevin Woo – No Escape

Some poop for some computer game but honestly it’s not too bad, probably one of the better songs this week.

Ellie – Sugar Rush

No, not that Ellie. You’ll see if you click. Think carefully.

Gabby Onme – Heart’s Racing

Actually really good. The only real problem here is the vocal lines are too crowded, more space would have been better. Still nice, and really nice when the singer shuts up.

Itzel – Whoo!

Cool imagery, not so sure about the music. It’s okay I guess.

Parameter – Surfer

Hey this is alright too. The small bands are making some decent stuff this week, which is great because almost nobody else is.

ChiU – Youth sometimes

Although the voice gets a bit annoying in the chorus, I’m really digging this one as well.

Layyi – I Just Cut My Hair

Here’s this week’s non-Korean random music pick. Layyi is from Singapore and this song is alright actually. Also, more people should play the Yamaha Revstar instead of stupid Gibsons. That is all.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

ChocoChipz – Idols who learned new skills for music videos

Given to me as “an actually interesting short” and it is. Learn about four things you didn’t know.

IVEy daeng – IVE WONYOUNG reacted when a fan video called her in the school toilet and was caught by his teacher

Pity about the needless edits here, this video would have been way funnier without them. Gosh I can’t imagine why the fan picked the school toilet to call her. If it was Yerin she would have called him out.

s.e.s – U

The weirdest thing about s.e.s isn’t that they fucking suck, although they obviously do and anyone who thinks otherwise probably didn’t actually spend one second of time other the last month listening to s.e.s but is just pretending to like them because they’re a veteran group and woe betide the k-pop fan who dares to have a non-positive opinion on veteran k-pop regardless of how crap it is because how dare we have opinions on things or any individuality or any challenging of the status quo, this is k-pop which is a hugely right-wing style and and we are conformists damnit. No, the weirdest thing about s.e.s is that the production of their songs was often better than their sibling group H.O.T, as it is here. Waste of time for the rubbish song of course, but it does make me wonder how SM consistently fucked up H.O.T so badly. Five albums in they were still sounding like absolute ass, whereas s.e.s had shit songs too but at least worked out where the knob was for the aux send to the compression unit.

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That’s all for this week! Oh and do the latest Kpopalypse survey if you want. Or don’t, see if I care. Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!

It’s time for another album review – this time Kpopalypse is taking a look at “Wings” by international k-pop sensation BTS!

BTS are all the rage right now with the release of their tenth album “Arirang”, or so their fandom would have you believe. However, it’s no secret that the most casual and the most diehard BTS fans both have one thing in common – they pine for the early days of the group, before the group made the switch to western market focus and English-language songs that the group themselves swore they would never do. But were they really worthy of the hype back in those early days when “Wings” dropped, or was it just the HYBE (then BigHit) marketing savvy that got them over the line where other boy groups failed? Let’s take a look.

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BTS – Wings

Sporting an album design as aggressively uninteresting as Super Junior’s “Magic“, “Wings” was released in 2016 to commercial success and general critical acclaim, charting in several countries outside Korea. Although not as broadly successful as later albums, it formed part of the platform upon which BTS built their later international success, in fact you could almost say that it helped “pave the way”. The album features a huge rotating cast of writers and producers, however a big chunk of the album is actually built up of solo songs of the individual members. The album came in four different versions with slightly different patterns, and was later repackaged as “You Never Walk Alone” which will also be covered in this review.

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1. Boy Meets Evil (J-Hope solo)

An album intro of a sort, once it gets moving (the song starts at 0:38) the descending harmony of J-Hope’s “Boy Meets Evil” makes it feel a bit like Tricky’s “Hell Is Around The Corner” but with more yelling and general angst sprinkled in instead of the original’s hazy stoner dub vibes. Sadly, just like that song it doesn’t really go anywhere all that interesting and just treads water once the main groove is established. It works fine as a dramatic intro but once the beat kicks in and you’ve heard about ten seconds of it, you get the general idea. Eminently skippable.

2. Blood, Sweat & Tears

The pretentious conceptual religious bullshit aeshetics continue on the song’s title track, but when the video stops fucking around with Christian art-wank it becomes quickly evident that what we have here is just a tropical house song like any other. In 2016, tropical house was relatively fresh, and hadn’t yet reached the complete saturation point that peaked about one year later, and “Blood, Sweat & Tears” was actually one of the better examples of the tropical house style in k-pop generally, which would later be done to death by just about everyone else in k-pop (KARD alone would for years attempt to make an entire career out of it). However a “good example” of an incredibly corny and played-out style is still pretty mid in my book, and the song has aged especially poorly, the unfortunate cost of riding the crest of a wave of a now-incredibly stale trend.

3. Begin (Jungkook solo)

Starting off sounding relentlessly dull, cheesy and maudlin, “Begin” improves a great deal when it hits the faster rhythmic treatment of the first chorus. However it’s still severely crippled from then onward by the fact that the song never committs fully to double-time rhythm. The end result is a song that feels like it spends its entire length building up to something that never actually happens. Some better melody writing would have saved it regardless, but the weird crooning never really cuts above the rhythm properly to deliver anything catchy. Definitely a song designed more to swoon over than actually listen to.

4. Lie (Jimin solo)

Jimin’s solo “Lie” is at least reasonable in the verses, using looped classical samples to interesting effect. Things change completely in the chorus for seemingly no reason, with the song suddenly taking on a major-tonality psychedelic rock type of feel that takes a huge dump on the mood built up until that point and pretty much ruins the song completely. Most puzzlingly of all is that the song gets Jimin to do quite a lot of work vocally, an ill-advised choice given what he’s actually capable of, forcing him to of course mime all his live stages of this song (and others). Why they didn’t give Jimin something to sing that matched closer to his real vocal abilities so he could actually pull off the occasional real performance is anyone’s guess, I guess we all know what the “Lie” of the song title is, poor Jimin.

5. Stigma (Taehyung/V solo)

A dull, conservative song, that moves at a plodding tempo, cementing V’s brand as a boring crooner in solo mode that he’s carried to this day. There’s actually some cool Portishead-type things happening with the rhythm track here but they don’t get much airtime – everything’s buried in far too many layers of soft-jazz easy-listening instrumental slop, and multiple layers of Taehyung’s overdubbed vocals squealing at ungodly high ranges make the listening experience even worse. At least Taehyung can probably actually mostly sing this for real, but that doesn’t make the song itself any better. Definitely a song only suitable for your great-grandparents to fuck to, it has no business being this high up in the album tracklist order.

6. First Love (Suga solo)

A rap song with orchestral backing, Suga’s solo “First Love” is actually the best track on the album so far, and the first song here that feels like it somewhat lives up to the hype this group received over “Wings” back in the day. It’s similar to “Boy Meets Evil” but with the key difference being that “First Love” actually has a sense of progression in the backing track’s music that makes you feel like you’re on a musical journey instead of just walking on a treadmill going nowhere. Of course rap like this only requires being able to emotively speak in rhythm, rather than actual singing ability, so it’s a mystery to me why they didn’t take Jimin down the path of making this type of track, as this would have been actually viable for him. Anyway the soaring instrumental here is the real star of the show and works well.

7. Reflection (RM solo)

Much the same as the Suga solo, but a more flat, more depressing version with blander instrumentation and rapping that sounds like RM is about to fall asleep. It’s easy to forget that “RM” supposedly stands for “Rap Monster” but I guess even monsters have to get their baby naps in sometime. Walking a fine line between angst and boredom, there’s nothing much else to say here, this track definitely isn’t worth cyberbullying anyone for, as BTS fans were so prone to doing back in the day (and probably still, I guess I’ll find out when this review gets published).

8. Mama (J-Hope solo)

Finally something a bit instrumentally perky, this is J-Hope’s second solo song on the album and I’m unsure why he gets two but it’s probably a good thing that he did as this is one of the better songs on the album. It’s a better track than most of the others just because it doesn’t sound like it’s drowning in its own tears and angst, and there’s some pretty nice horns in the backing track. It’s nothing exactly great, but it’s listenable and pleasant and won’t want to make you slice your own wrists or jump in front of a train, which puts it in the top tier of songs on “Wings”.

9. Awake (Jin solo)

Regular Kpopalypse.com readers will know that Jin has the best track record of quality solo songs outside of BTS by far when looking at roundups and end of year lists on this site. However his song on “Wings” is a bit of a stinker, a bland ballad that sounds just like every other bland ballad that you’ve ever heard on every other k-pop album ever created. There is simply nothing at all setting this song apart from the acres of ballad slop out there that pollutes k-pop albums, and “awake” is something you’ll be very unlikely to be after listening so put it on loop if you have insomnia I guess.

10. Lost

Four of the seven BTS members get to feature on “Lost”, but you’ll wonder why they bothered as this tune could easily have been carried by just one of them (as long as it wasn’t Jimin of course). There’s no multi-part harmony vocals or anything else here that justifies utilising multiple singers, and while that’s a criticism that could be levelled at just about all of k-pop across the board, it still doesn’t make this particular combination of members make any sense. “Lost” is a boring mid-paced R&B lighter-waving track infused with the angsty dullness that permeates most of this album so far, and it sounds like it could easily belong to any other group.

11. BTS Cypher pt. 4

An actual reasonable beat starts things off, and it improves when the vocals hit – the tone of this rap track is definitely appealingly aggressive. It’s far from the best I’ve heard out of Korea (Gwangil Jo or Black Nut they are definitely not), but BTS are for the most part far more in their comfort zone delivering this type of song than anything involving actual singing. On R&B and pop songs they sound dull or simply generic, but here they deliver squarely on the promise of their hype machine with a menacing mood that’s largely absent from k-pop idol rap tracks. Definitely a track that should not have been buried so far back on the album after all the ballad junk.

12. Am I Wrong

A weird interpolation of Keb’ Mo’s “Am I Wrong“, that somehow needed four(!) producers and eight(!!!) writers including Dynamic Duo’s Gaeko(!!!!) and Kpopalypse bias Adora(!!!!!!!!!!!), BTS’s version somehow remains reasonably faithful to the original while still boy-grouping it up with lots of sub-bass and lame rapping/warbling. In the end it’s not a bad song because it at least keeps things a bit bright and sunny, but it still feels like exactly what it is – a blues track with too many cooks in the kitchen that should have been a lot shorter and simpler. Keb’ Mo’ outsold.

13. 21st Century Girl

Another track that’s reasonably acceptable or at least listenable, buried at the ass end of the album for no reason. “21st Century Girl” like most of the better songs on the album leans heavily on BTS’s core strength which is making somewhat semi-decent rap tracks. The lyrics are all about BTS telling their fans that they’re “attractive people really I promise pinky swear as long as you stay in the BTS fandom” so it’s a bit cringe but it still sounds reasonable enough thanks to ripping off a few other rap songs from back before commercial rap started completely sucking. Overall not bad at all.

14. Two! Three! Hoping For More Good Days/Two! Three! Still Wishing For Better Days

Starts off absolutely disgustingly horribly, but this song (which I’ve given two English titles as I don’t know which one is more accurate) does something which no other song on the album does – it proves that BTS (or someone connected to them) knows how to write a decent anthemic chorus. Unfortunately by the time you get there you’ve had to listen to a truly awful intro and some very dreary rapping, so you may not care by that point, but I imagine this song is a nice singalong live and probably works well in that context.

15. Interlude: Wings

I’ll skip over this final song as it’s a waste of time to cover it, an extended version appears on the repackage which we’ll look at below.

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REPACKAGE – YOU NEVER WALK ALONE

Released in early 2017, coming in two versions and once again featuring some truly scintillating art with all the appeal of staring at a blank wall of a prison cell, BTS certainly didn’t pave the way for interesting cover design with “You Never Walk Alone”. The label scrapped the final track from “Wings” and added some extra tracks, which are below.

15. Spring Day

A mid-paced track that fits pretty well with the “Wings” songs, in other words it’s competent enough but just a bit too angsty and maudlin to actually be enjoyable. The song actually uses a e-bow guitar technique that I really like, but it’s overused here and the endless layer of scratchy guitar overstays its welcome and sounds like nails on a chalkboard long before the song ends. If you love this song and don’t know what I’m talking about, then good – as soon as you hear it you can’t unhear it and it will annoy you forever. Don’t ask me about it, you have been warned.

16. Not Today

Probably the only song on either the main album or the repackage that sounds like it actually belongs on a boy group album, “Not Today” is decent. The quality is almost entirely because of the backing track choices, the vocals actually do very little and those huge synths do the vast majority of the musical heavy lifting. It’s a reasonably good track and the sort of song that I’m surprised BTS doesn’t have that many of in its catalog, given the insane hype around them. I guess marketing is what it is.

 17. Outro: Wings

The extended version of the final track on the original “Wings” release. This song is also reasonably decent, it’s nothing amazing but it has the brightness that a lot of the rest of the album lacks. It certainly had no business being buried right at the end or either album and it’s confirmation that nobody at HYBE knows anything about ordering songs on an album correctly. Perhaps the plan was to put most of the rubbish at the start to scare away all the casual fans so only the diehard BTS fans knew about these tracks… but it’s far more likely that someone just didn’t know what they were doing.

18. A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone

By far the worst song on either version of the album, if you think that song title is awkward, just wait until you hear the music. Pure junk from start to finish, the kind of music that people pretend to like so they can creep onto you at the club, it’s truly disgusting and you should feel disgusted when you listen to this. To BTS’s credit, while they have a lot of songs that are overly angsty, melodramatically cheesy, or just plain boring, they’re pretty consistent and don’t have much in their catalog at all which stinks as much as this does.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

“Wings” is a dull listen, straight up, and while there are occasional bright spots, it’s abundantly clear that the music itself isn’t the main drawcard here, even for those who like it. The entire package is achingly maudlin, self-important and angsty for the most part, and I think that’s actually by design. If you’re an angst-ridden teenager who is depressed and hates the world and can’t read between the lines of corporate bullshit enough to reject pop culture on an ideological level and then “Wings” comes along, maybe you’d relate to it and it might make you feel better. Indeed that’s exactly what most of the album feels like it’s designed to do, and that’s probably true given that BigHit were caught slipping creepy, prying personality-profiling questions into fan surveys to fuel their future marketing back in the day. However I’d argue that you’d have a better time listening to heavy metal instead, a musical style that is actually more self-esteem affirming, plus you’d get better music, too, music that’s actually more worth listening to in its own right, divorced (somewhat more) from image, marketing, fandoms, and cult-like behaviour. The repackaged version of “Wings” is definitely better than the initial release so if you like the songs here enough to spend money then that’s what you should definitely pick up, but if I wanted some “me against the world” music I’d kick this shallow emotional junk food to the curb completely and listen to {insert incredibly good metal band that I don’t want to name lest they cop hate from psychotic BTS fans here}.

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That’s it for this post! Kpopalypse will return!