It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

We’re going to have so many nominees for 2026’s cross-cultural sensitivity awards that we might need two posts to fit them all in! RIIZE’s Eunseok is the latest person to offend people in neighbouring countries.

ITZY – Motto

Lily from NMIXX put her foot down and said “no more AI” so JYP has to give Itzy all the crappy AI-gen-slop-infused videos now. No wonder Itzy are stuck in the trailer park while NMIXX are making bank.

FIFTY FIFTY – Starstruck

Fifty Fifty try for something more “modern” but this type of sound is actually pretty old-hat in 2026. It doesn’t quite fit together for them either, the vocals are far too “nice” for the backings. Oh well, if you don’t like it you could go and listen to “Starry Night” instead if you wanted, that’s an alright song.

Taeyong – Wyld

Taeyong will ship that mascara express direct to your house if you buy it from his Ebay page, only for you to open the box and find out he shipped you a photograph of a mascara stick.

Taeyang – Live Fast Die Slow

Yea we are dying pretty slowly here with this boring shit. People would probably expect me to like this but while the general feel is good the songwriting is the problem. Nothing to see here.

ZEROBASEONE – TOP 5

And here’s a song that you’d probably expect me to not like but I actually think it kind of works. The beat and the second-gen style melodic focus saves it.

Wanna One – We Wanna Go

I wanna go away from this song.

WOOAH – WXW (Wish With W)

When Wooah dumped the exclamation mark from their group name, the excitement in their music swiftly followed. This new song has serious “for the fans nostalgia” vibes, the agency are definitely prepping fans in advance for their upcoming disbandment.

Jay Park & LNGSHOT – Yeah Yeah

Go buy my girlfriend some soju, yeah yeah. She likes yoghurt flavour thanks Jay, yeah yeah.

Billlie – Off-Air

“All instruments and vocals performed and recorded live on location.” And then touched up later but we’ll ignore that part. Anyway this is boring and it’s no Billlie fan’s favourite song.

Kana Nishino feat. NiziU – Love Beat

It isn’t terrible like most Niziu crap but absolutely nothing here can hide how the girls just don’t give a damn. Although it’s considerate that the agency gave them a chorus dance they can do while deadpanning straight to camera. These girls are so over it.

VVS – Dash

Apparently there’s an Australian in this group that I’m supposed to support but nobody yells out “oi, cunt” in this song so I have no idea who it is. Pity as that might have woken me up from this R&B snoozeathon.

YOUNITE – Pose!

Disco bollocks that sensible listeners won’t care about.

ChaDongHyeop – Doogeundae

Hey this is good and has the kind of songwriting that k-pop could use a little more of. Or maybe it just feels like a shot in the arm because so much of everything else is boring this week.

FLARE U – Way 2 U

FNC debut a new boy group because they have no idea what the people want evidently. However at least this isn’t some hip-hop bullshit, my god I sound like Eunice hahaha…

AMPERS&ONE – What You Talking About

This however IS some hip-hop bullshit. It’s not bad bullshit by k-pop standards as it happens but you’re not exactly going to burn your Wu-Tang records.

MONSTA X – Burning Up

The cheapest, shittiest type of “for the fans” video is the one where they’re not even singing the song that you’re hearing and they make no effort at all to even make it look like they are by trying to sync mouth gestures or whatever.

82MAJOR – Circles

I’ve been rambling a lot and not saying much about the songs this week but it’s not my fault that your bias makes boring music that’s not worth writing about.

NOWZ – Us

What in the AI asscrack is this.

CATCH THE YOUNG – Sail

Some soft-rock nonsense that nobody under retirement age should be listening to. They should change their name to Catch The Pension.

CrazAngel – Picasso

It seems okay but it sounds weirder the more you listen. There’s definitely a few places where the melodies and the harmonies don’t quite line up and you’ll notice something’s “off” after a while. I’m fairly sure that’s not some meta-concept to do with the song title but just a fuck-up here and there that nobody could be bothered fixing.

COMMA – Radical

This song has a “visual film” to go with it, as opposed to all those “non-visual films” that you’ve all been enjoying lately.

Wave to Earth – Heaven and Hell

Some better than usual instrumentation helps this song out, but I’d just as soon not listen to it.

Seeya – Stay

The best song from the Seeya revival yet, thanks to having a bit of a pulse.

Taeyong – Storm

Taeyong will sell you one of these rocks from his video set on his Ebay page but when you open the package it’s not a rock from his video set it’s a piece of packing styrofoam painted dark grey.

Mingi – Dinero

I think I’ll take my dineros and spend them elsewhere.

Park Jinyoung – Everlove

No it’s not THAT Park Jinyoung. A pity because some plastic pants would have maybe livened this up, or at least forced me to remember it into next week.

Yaochen – Check Yaoself

Now that is one horrible dad-pun of a song title. Let’s not review this as punishment.

Yaochen – Hold On

His other song can get fucked too.

Yeeun – Scent of Memories

Got quite a shock when I loaded this up on my livestream and expected some dogshit ballad but turns out it’s actually a semi-acceptable piece of music from the ex-CLC member. Maybe it’ll motivate Sorn to stop messing around on socials and put another song out one day.

Balming Tiger – Gojingamrae

I’m not really into this but it does somewhat resemble an actual song and that’s something a bit different for Balming Tiger who usually just bang on a tin can and yelp a bit and call it a day.

HYNN – Title Role

I don’t like this much but it’s probably one of the better Hynn songs just because she doesn’t both look and sound like she wants to kill herself.

Sohyang feat. Vincent Blue – I Pray For Your Eternity

This is the kind of song that Eunice hoped she would get to do but instead she had to do [redacted for spoilers] and when she finally did get a song like this it was [redacted for more spoilers]. By the way if you get annoyed by all my book references because you just think I’m trying to sell books, this isn’t true, I actually refer to my books to annoy you, selling more of them is just an unintended by-product. If missing out really bothers you and you don’t want to give me money because I’m problematic, you can read the books I write for free at your local library if it has Libby ordering system, you know. So no need to give a cunt like me your $5 for an ebook, just ask them to order it in, they’ll do it if they know what’s good for them because if not I’ll send Shian over. Sorry for rambling but anything’s better than talking about another Sohyang song.

Simon Dominic – Simon Says

They warned me at the start of the song that the beat was about to drop and I listened to the whole thing and I’m still waiting for it.

Simon Dominic feat. Masta Wu – Neukkyuh

This other song is even more boring. Let’s stop doing roundup before I fall asleep and end up releasing it 8 hours behind schedule.

Ban Ga-Hee – Me, Having Lost Love

But wait, this trot ballad is actually awesome. It’s so deep into its own melodrama that it kind of wraps around and becomes hardcore again. She sings so hard I was afraid she was going to burst a neck artery. If she was filling in for Iron Madien (and she could) that might be the motivation I need to buy a ticket for their overpriced concert later this year.

IF YOU WANNA KPOP, EVERY WANNA KPOP SECTION

Anna Cheng – I H8 U

I don’t know if Anna Cheng is a k-pop, but she clearly wants to be, so in the spirit of Chad Future she can go in here. Song’s quite nice actually.

Olivia Marsh – Roll

Is Olivia Marsh a k-pop? The debate rages on but k-pop fans like TC Candler consider her relevant enough to drool all over her comments section, so that tips me towards yes. He clearly stans so I guess you’re seeing Olivia on his next list.

Trisha Paytas – Saranghae (I Love You)

This Trisha girl is a k-pop now, apparently. I don’t really know who she is, but apparently she’s well known or something. I will calmly accept. Also, best body in k-pop hands down.

Cateek – Never Gonna Give You Up

This week’s actual non-Korean video is Cateek, or as a reader put it, “Temu Eunha”. Hey in the absence of actual Eunha doing jack shit, I’ll take it.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

aespa 에스파 ‘WDA (Whole Different Animal) (Feat. G-DRAGON)’ but the beat is actually good

Longtime Kpopalypse reader, aespa stan and BADING musical genius Annie decided to take on board my commentary from last week and fix the main problem with aespa’s “WDA”, so I synced it up to the video for her. And you. It’s actually a pretty good song now, enjoy.

ILLIT Tries Not To Sing Their Own Songs!

Where the setup is, of course, “oh wow the songs are so catchy we just can’t stop ourselves from singing along, watch us fail to control ourselves, gosh our songs must be so great”, as if k-pop performers don’t get drilled to the milimeter behind the scenes and exerting control over every little urge they ever had is completely absorbed into their psyche by the time they debut. Anyway if you want to see k-pop idols not singing to their own songs, there’s no need for fake-ass videos like this, just watch any of their TV “live” stages.

Jewelry – One More Time

A pretty dull song from Jewelry from back in the 2000s, what sticks out the most these days is the instrumental choices which were quite unique for k-pop for the time and probably even more so these days. That’s the only highlight though, the actual song itself is pretty boring once the novelty of hearing accordion and slide guitar in a k-pop song wears thin.

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That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!

It’s time for a different kind of Kpopalypse post – this time, Kpopalypse is taking a look at k-pop idols at the Met Gala to see if their outfits meet required standards Find out more below!

An often-repeated question on Kpopalypse livestreams and other content is “good look for her?” or “MRS?” (meets required standards) followed by a random link to some k-pop girl wearing something or other. I don’t know why people give so much of a shit what I think about other people’s appearances but apparently they do. Maybe it’s because Kpopalypse is the only straight male who isn’t scared to actually talk about things like fashion, something that it’s probably hard to find this kind of opinion on because most straight men are worried people will think they’re gay if they talk about that shit. So this post is all about Kpopalypse throwing down his subjective opinions on Met Gala fashions to annoy/entertain/amuse you!

So firstly, what the fuck even is a Met Gala? I am not Metgalalypse so of course I had no idea so I had to educate myself on this important topic. In fact, that’s a lie, I don’t give a single fuck so I didn’t even bother. Who the fuck cares, let’s just look at the outfits. I’ll score them out of 10 just based on how much I subjectively like them because it always really angers people when I subjectively score people on their appearance, which is hilarious. Annoying stupid people is an important part of this website. 8 or above mrs, so let’s go.

Jennie (Blackpink)

Jennie handling this fake-ass conversation here is pretty funny, she’s dripping with caonima attitude:

The other girl: “You look so…”
Jennie: “Thank you! You too!”

Jennie didn’t even wait for that other girl to finish her sentence. It could have been an insult or anything. She clearly doesn’t give a fuck, but if it was me saying it the missing word would have been “crustacean”. I’ll give this a 5 mainly because the seashell-shaped hairdo at least matches the dress.

All of the Blackpink members had different outfits for the after-party. Jennie’s is kind of random op-shop mishmash and I’ll give this a 5 too because the sunglasses look like poop on her.

Rosé (Blackpink)

“The bird stood out”, Rose says. It sure does, the thing stabs her in the arm a few times and even gets caught inside her elbow for a while, she probably should have held the micrphone with the other hand. I bet she was glad to rip that thing off as soon as the yapping and posing out was over with. I’ll give this a 6 but it’d be an 8 if she gave that bird the bird and replaced it with something normal like a belt.

The after-party dress is kind of the same thing but without the bird and with a much different bottom half. Not sure what that massive train at the back is about, how are you expected to party with something like that in your area. 6 again.

Lisa (Blackpink)

Here’s a cool outfit if you’ve ever wanted to feel like there’s a stalker constantly behind you. Having a couple of your own disembodied arms constantly in your perhipheral vision would definitely give any k-pop girl “am I on a boy group street harassment video set” vibes. Having said that if you were harassed on the street for real at least you could rip one of the arms off and beat your attacker to death with it, or fist them with it. 4 with the arms, 7 without (or if they painted some blood onto them).

Lisa’s after-party outfit definitely has pimp vibes, It seems pretty comfortable as long as Lisa didn’t need to look over her shoulder for any reason that night because she’d just cop a faceful of dead animal. It suits her but it’s not really a vibe I like, 5/10 because it looks like it’s made out of my cat and that’s just depressing, I don’t like to be reminded of my cat’s mortality as she’s kind of old these days.

Jisoo (Blackpink)

Jisoo goes for the flower theme, although it’s kind of hard to really see the details. For some reason the flower add-ons trick my eye into thinking the camera is not in focus. Jisoo seems nervous and she mentions she just wants to find the other girls, probably because everyone else around her is some annoying idiot from the fashion world and Jisoo seems like she’s very give-no-fucks and wouldn’t get along with that crowd. Giving her a 7 just to make her feel better for being dragged along to this shit.

Her after-party dress isn’t too bad either but it’s weirdly lopsided at the bottom, not sure if that’s the cut of the dress or maybe she’s just all out of fucks to give. I know a girl who used to sneak goon bags into venues under her dress to save money, she’d lift up her dress and it looked like she was taking a piss but actually she was refilling her drink from the goon bag. This dress here definitely looks like Jisoo is storing a goon bag on one side like my friend did. 6/10 just for caonima vibes. Note that the girl with her in black is Hoyeon from Squid Game series 1 and she’s absolutely killing it but she is not a k-pop so she doesn’t get a separate entry here (yet I found a way to squeeze her in anyway).

Karina (aespa)

Karina doesn’t get an interview probably because her English skills are ass compared to the Blackpinkians but the full outfit is in this video from 5:32. I’ll give this outfit an 8 with the jacket on and 7 without, because the jacket hides the weird stiffness of the front of the dress. That’s probably the fault of the wardrobe department going bezerk with the Bedazzler along the neckline and weighing the fabric down.

Karina’s after party dress just looks normal and good. My girlfriend would rock this dress, if she sees this video she might ask me to track it down and I’d have no clue where to find it. Caonimas you gotta help me locate it if that happens. 9/10.

Ningning (aespa)

People think I’m a cunt and I definitely am but even I wouldn’t talk to a woman like this (at least not without a safeword). Listen to these fuckwits with the cameras. Don’t you just wish you were there so you could grab their equipment and smash it? Ningning at least looks like she’s thinking it. Her formless but quite pretty dress makes Ningning look like one of those fuzzy black wasp larvae that live in trees in the suburbs of my city and squirt acid in your eyes if you get too close. I’d like to see a dress modification so Ningning could spit gobs of hydrochloric acid over the paparazzi, I’ll give her an 8 for this dress as in “ate some stupid cameraman’s face off”.

For the after-party Ningning wore something a bit more bare bones, and actually it’s bare bones indeed because her shoulders completely dominate this dress. She’s definitely been doing her lateral pull-downs at the gym but I think a dress with a bit more fabric on the shoulder straps would have suited her figure better. 6/10.

Ejae

The Kpop Demon Hunters star is ready to hunt some more demons in this chain-mail inspired outfit. I reckon that if you swiped a broadsword into her stomach Ejae wouldn’t even feel it, and I’m not even sure what weapon could even penetrate the stones on that necklace, probably not even one of her own pitch-corrected high-notes. Although she’s all set up for her local medieval LARP I’m only giving this a 6 because I think this dress while sturdy also seems extra-conductive so it could make her vulnerable to lightning bolt spells. Kpop Demon Hunters folks did not do the after-party thing (or if they did I can’t find footage) so no second video here.

Audrey Nuna

Audrey Nuna doesn’t get her own video with a helpful explanation of what the fuck her outfit is about so here she is hanging out with fellow KDH star Ejae covered above. Audrey seems pretty miserable actually, perhaps she hates the paparazzi too, or maybe it’s just because she’s wearing what looks like a gangster outfit covered in the black mold that I just cleaned off my ceiling. I’m pretty sure I saw a few of those black specks move, I guess the fuzzy black wasp larvae are back. I’ll give this a 4 mainly just for psyching everybody out.

Hyoseop

Men are not exempt from scrutiny and objectification here at Kpopalypse.com and Ahn Hyoseop is the voice of Jinu from Saja Boys, the Kpop Demon Hunters boy group. His suit is pretty cool actually although I’m not sure what’s going on with that weird black button/buckle/bullshit thing in the centre. Just unbutton it and let your abs shine, that’s what I think. 7 for effort plus being the only guy in this thing, where are all the other male k-pops. Hey I learned when researching this post that the last Korean male k-pop to do the Met Gala thing was Rain in 2015. He paved the way.

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That’s all for this post! Now you know my exciting opinions on the 2026 Met Gala k-pop and the amount of “good look for her” questions in livestreams that I have to grind through will decrease by approximately 0.248% Kpopalypse will return!

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

The latest part of the war on attractive people is that you’re not allowed to wear balllet outfits now because people might be sad that you look better than them. Soon k-pop fans will clamp down on everything to the point where the only thing women can wear is a cardboard box.

aespa ft. G-Dragon – WDA (Whole Different Animal)

A great song concept desperately in need of a beat, the entire thing refuses to get started and is just light and fluffy taps from start to finish. A massive letdown that wastes the track’s otherwise appealingly ominous mood.

NMIXX – Heavy Serenade

Actually really solidly good. Quite cohesive by anyone’s standards, not just NMIXX’s.

Billlie – Zap

Definitely not as much zap in this as there was in “Work” from last week, what a pity. Oh well, one banger a year is still more than most groups manage.

Lee Chaeyeon – Know About Me

Lee Chaeyeon also hasn’t matched the quality of her song from last week, but this still isn’t bad.

Tiffany Young – Summer’s Not Over

Tiffan’y new dreary ballad is not my best friend.

Lee Hi – Up

The good thing about Lee Hi being married now or whatever is she’s leaving the house more. Not sure if that’s because her man is a nice dude, or because he’s a dick and she just wants to get away from him and chill out on the beach on her own for a while, but either way we get to see her more so that’s nice.

Jenevieve feat. Jihyo – Hvnly

Lame soft R&B slop that doesn’t belong anywhere near your favourite k-pops.

Hanhae, Moon Se Yoon feat. Chuu – Airplane

I’m not sure what this even is but Chuu can’t rescue it.

Taeyong – 404 Euphoria

Definitely an appropriate video for the song, as this one’s as boring as watching your clothes spin around at the laundromat.

CORTIS – Acai

Ahahahaha wow this sucks. There were actually quite a few decent songs in this style this week, and this isn’t one of them. Jane Remover was right.

KIIRAS – Ta Ta

It’s not the worst Kirras song ever, but then Kirras have been pretty shit so far so being worse than their other songs would be actually quite challenging. The person who predicted that I’d like this song better than other Kirras songs made a pretty safe bet, as I think I like 99% of all music better than other Kirras songs.

Keyveatz – Catch My Breath

A completely unwatchable video that will tear the skin straight from your retinas as surely as any T-ara creation, you could be forgiven for not noticing that the song is actually one of k-pop’s better rap-focused creations as you puke into a bucket on the floor and try to stop the room from spinning.

BOYNEXTDOOR – Ddok Ddok Ddok

It’s just Rain’s “Gang” again. He truly did pave the way for all these boy groups.

RAIN – Feel It

And right on cue, he’s back! Pity this song licks an R&B ballsack but oh well, I guess he’s earned a break.

NAZE – People Talk

It’s not all that exciting but I didn’t hate it. I can’t decide if the lyrics are a good thing (“ignore what people say about you, you do you”) or a bad thing (“hey fans, here’s your license to be ignorant of any valid criticism of your shitty behaviour”) but either way it’s always good to hear a song that addresses an elephant in the room.

NEXZ – Hypeman

A song called “Hypeman” that doesn’t have a hypeman and actually could have used one. Seriously k-pop groups should embrace having a hypeman as part of the group, but judging from the sound of this I’m pretty sure they don’t even know what one is.

Jay Park & LNGSHOT – 4SHO 4SHO

Where’s that bottle of soju for my girlfriend, Jay? I only messaged you on Onlyfans two years ago, hurry up and “keep it real” for me.

YUHZ – Rush Rush

I wonder if “Yuhz” is pronounced the same as the Australian “youse“? Can anyone confirm? If so, can youse Yuhz guys get a better song?

Forestella – Armageddon

The song isn’t too bad actually but the irony of them singing about how they’re “watching armageddon” while surrounded by total AI slop backgrounds isn’t lost on me.

NoeurA – A-List

Reckon they’ll hit that A-list, probably not, but I didn’t mind the backing track here which refreshingly just had a groove and stuck to it and didn’t try to do 12 things at once.

KEYVITUP – Polaroid

They’re only two songs into their careers and they’re already making for-the-fans “nostalgia” montage videos. Maybe what Frank Zappa said is true: “It isn’t necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice — there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. When you compute the length of time between ‘The Event’ and ‘Nostalgia For The Event,’ the span seems to be about ‘a year less in each cycle.’ Eventually, within the next quarter of a century the nostalgia cycles will be so close together that people will not be able to take a step without being nostalgic for the one they just took. At that point, everything stops. Death by Nostalgia.”

Heart Of Woman – H.O.W’s Mixtape

Wait, a female R&B/hip-hop hybrid song that actually… has really legitimately good beat-writing and non-cringe lyrics? Everyone’s freaking out about the Italian-language section but honestly the song had me sold way before then. I’m not hopeful that they can keep up this quality because R&B writers tend to have shit music taste so this one might just be luck, but I hope I’m proven wrong.

T.EV – 5AM

Most R&B in k-pop sounds like this instead, and that’s a problem.

Hi-Fi Un!corn – Stop It

Okay this is probably the best Hi-Fi Unicorn song so far. Unless they released another one that is this good and I can’t remember, because they’ve released a song each week for the last year it seems and who the fuck can remember how any of it goes. They must be running out of video-making money by now, damn.

SANTOS BRAVOS – Wow

Wow, did you know HYBE’s fail “latin group” are still a thing?

StelLive – Star Trail

I dumped all the other anime poop out of roundup this week because it all sucked, but this one has a ripping pace and some decent instrumental work so it can stay.

Ilhoon – Devil Can Wait

Not a bad song, and the video certainly meets required ab-flashing standards.

Han – Back to Life

Han on the other hand is actually pretty boring, with this song that tries to combine shoegaze style guitar textures with the usual k-pop rock-lite thing, the results are unexciting.

Gavy NJ – He Broke Up

Shit song but GavyNJ are worth paying attention to just because of the line-up drama that follows this group, with DSP constantly swapping the girls out for new younger girls (basically the same concept that After School had). The comments here are going ballistic that the Burmese girl Riel isn’t getting any shine here but don’t worry Myanmar citizens, the way this agency rolls, she’ll probably only be in the group for a few more weeks and then you can have her back.

BIG Naughty – Still Freestylin’

I’m pretty sure that not a single Korean rapper has ever freestyled in their life, given how little rappers from anywhere else in the world do it, and how Koreans are addicted to the “here’s one we prepared earlier” approach to music. Nevertheless this is probably the best thing Big Naughty has ever done simply because there’s no weak-ass R&B element and I know I’m shitting on R&B a lot this week but only because Heart Of Woman actually got it right so my standards have now lifted for everyone else who keeps fucking up.

BewhY – Southside Freestyle

Bewhy is just killing it here though. He actually makes the robot voice work, a near-impossible feat in rap music, and this is his best song ever since he made Kanye West redundant. I might even listen to it again after I’ve finished writing this accursed roundup. It’s probably not a fucking freestyle though, hahaha.

MilliMax feat. ZENE THE ZILLA, Nosun – Yessir

Most of the other rap this week was poop like this so I removed it all you’re welcome.

Doorlesshouse – Attacker

Hey a really good rock song. You could listen to it if you wanted.

Rockit Girl – Pinky Pop (acoustic version)

We all love a good Rockit Girl acoustic version, pity that this one is probably their worst song ever, just watch it with the sound down I guess.

Lovebites – Reaper’s Lullaby

I just want you to know that the new Lovebites song is one of their best. You know they mean business when their new bass player Fami isn’t grinning like a shithead, she’s the Chuu of Japanese metal I swear. Really though, where are the Korean metal acts that can go this hard? Come on Koreans, you can’t let the Japanese get away with this! What are you doing with yourselves? Get to work!

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

HYOKEY – What Happens When Your K-Pop company Finds Your Channel

Answer: they say “how come WE couldn’t go that viral?” and ask to do a collab video. They then invite you to their office to have a little chat behind closed doors and then Hyokey says “I can’t tell you what we talked about but gosh k-pop companies are alright really, gosh it’s tough being a k-pop company” hahaha. But honestly that’s still a better approach than what most agencies would do. Can you imagine how Jessica would be treated if she dropped into the SM Entertainment foyer with a camera?

I may be – Why BTS’S success didn’t spread to the rest of kpop

Some woman yaps on about how BTS are great and so different and unique and blah blah. Of course the real answer to the question posed by the video title is quite different: BTS got big, western people who weren’t k-pop fans heard their latter-day soft as shite songs and went “yuck – we want no part of this, let’s just give all k-pop a miss from now on” and so other groups didn’t get much interest outside of the k-pop bubble. Then BTS fans made it even worse by cyberbullying anyone and everyone who didn’t adore what was honestly the low point of BTS’s career musically, disgusting sensible music fans everywhere. But then this video is from someone with another video called “Is Jennie lazy or is she selfish” and I’m not even making that up, so it’s pretty clear that they’re not going to have any balanced takes and have an agenda to push. You think anyone who actually cared about BTS would be nicer to Taehyung’s girlfriend, geez…

Chae Yeon – Two Of Us

Proof that k-pop has only gotten more conservative and boring over time, can you imagine a k-pop video like this releasing today? Even Kiss Of Life aren’t coming this close. The song isn’t too bad actually but honestly who is even listening…

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That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!

It’s time for another album review – this time Kpopalypse is taking a look at “To Anyone” by 2NE1!

The retro album reviews continue! Eventually I’ll get to some newer stuff, but probably not anytime soon. In the meantime, enjoy this review of an album that I actually listened to voluntarily more than once back when it came out – unprecedented! Has 2ne1’s “To Anyone” held up to the test of time? Let’s see!

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2NE1 – To Anyone

“To Anyone” was 2NE1’s confusingly named debut album, released in 2010. It continued their label YG Entertainment’s fine tradition of packaging albums in material that looks like it could be used to patch up an armoured vehicle. The presentation of “To Anyone” in terms of album packaging, videos, photoshoots etc all aims for the same “futuristic” aesthetic, something that wasn’t wildly different from other groups at the time but certainly was pulled off here more convincingly than most other k-pop attempts previous to 2010.

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1. Can’t Nobody

Getting straight down to business, “Can’t Nobody” is a banger, full of punchy beats and screeching atonal synths, and it’s dated exceptionally well. Like with a lot of their other early songs, 2NE1 producer Teddy went in hard on the Autotune, but it actually works here because the vocal tones timbre-match the synthesizers to some extent, creating a sound that sonically fits. The exception is Bom’s parts that provide a nice contrast to the hard frequencies everywhere else, but fortunately without letting up the tempo – this song was before the days where k-pop producers en masse decided they had to stupidly drop to half-time after every verse. It’s refreshing to hear a k-pop song like this that is slamming all the way through, and even with a second generation k-pop resurgence currently underway they still rarely make them like this anymore.

2. Go Away

We’re still in squarely good territory with “Go Away”, a more melodic song that keeps up the tempo but backs down a little on the robotic edginess… except when CL is singing because I guess Autotune sounds “tough” and “empowering” or something, and CL tended to carry the torch for 2NE1’s female-empowerment-lite more than any other member. I wouldn’t have minded hearing her actual voice instead but oh well. The video that comes with this song is a lot of fun, featuring CL screaming her head off painfully (her true singing voice perhaps) and a car racing accident at the end, I think it’s supposed to be dramatic or sell the group as actresses or something but it’s actually just hilarious.

3. Clap Your Hands

Get ready for even more Autotune madness, which 2NE1 sure leaned into heavily back in the day. It was the “sound of the future” back then, at least in Korea at the time (in the west by 2010 hard Autotune in pop music was already well on the way out) and they sure embraced it here. It actually works well for the rap verses and the “tribal” breakdown or whatever the fuck it is they thought they were doing, a pity that this song also has one of the worst choruses of the group’s entire career. Fortunately the song doesn’t actually stay with the chorus very long so overall “Clap Your Hands” is more of a hit than a miss.

4. I’m Busy

Sounding like any BigBang track from the era but with female voices, that is, until it gets to the chorus and everything changes temporarily to more of a light rock feel. Then the song changes again to a 6/8 section for no reason before going back to the first sound… I’m not quite sure what the point of all that was. Overall just a bit too confused sounding to actually be any good, but it has tempo, it fits with the tracks before it and it’s listenable enough in context. Not bad but it’s clear why this is a b-track and video-happy YG didn’t bother cranking out the cameras for this one.

5. It Hurts (slow)

It’s not a k-pop album without a lame ballad, and as usual with k-pop ballads the sound is as conservative as any other group, any trace of 2NE1’s “futuristic” sound now completely gone. This could be any group’s ballad. Having said that, “It Hurts (slow)” is far from the worst ballad in k-pop, but there’s nothing here all that compelling either. You’ll remember the legitimately impressive fashion and hairstyling choices in the music video for far longer than you’ll remember what this song sounds like.

6. Love Is Ouch

Now for an example where 2NE1’s traditional Autotune overuse definitely doesn’t fit. The song starts off with big dramatic keys like a Van Halen ballad but the feeling is all ruined as soon as the robot voices crank up. It’s hard not to burst out laughing from the sheer wacky stupidity of it all, especially at the “he-ey” at 0:44, truly one of second-gen k-pop’s daftest vocal moments. Later on the beat switches into double-time which is definitely an improvement but it’s not quite enough to rescue this track from the robot-voice silliness.

7. You And I

A solo song by Park Bom, the group’s token “vocalist” and so of course it’s a ballad, but it’s actually great, and the album’s best track. Teddy strikes the right balance of synths and acoustic instruments here without heading into either boring conservatism or the trending sounds of the time, and Bom’s voice (a pleasingly distinctive one in a genre where everyone is deliberately trained to sound the same) fits like a glove over the top. The accompanying drama video is also unexpectedly moving rather than just cheesy and idiotic for once.

8. Please Don’t Go

Only CL and Minzy feature on this track, and I guess it’s a song designed to sell them as rappers or something because we’re back to the faster tempo, atonal synth work and Autotuned yelping. That’s all fair enough and it kind of works a little bit despite itself, but much like “Clap Your Hands” this song proves that you can’t really just shove a pop chorus into something like this without making it sound out of place and just kind of stupid.

9. Kiss

Dara’s solo song is overlong, boring, repetitive and just a waste of space really. It does sound just a little bit better nowadays than it did at the time thanks to at least having some semblance of a melody, but it still comes off like a very poor man’s version of a T-ara b-side. We’re also back to the cheesy and idiotic end of the YG drama videos, but unlike the song at least the visuals give your brain something to do. If nothing else I certainly wish I was listening to the fictional rock band on stage in the video rather than Dara. Oh and apparently CL turns up on this song somewhere too but everything’s so smothered in the robot voice that your guess as to which parts of the song have CL’s vocal on them are probably no better than mine.

10. Follow Me

The final track of the album is basically just “Clap Your Hands” yet again but with a slightly better beat and a chorus that actually makes sense for the type of song that it is. Not much really happens in this song but that’s fine, it’s consistent and the faux-dancehall style rhythm works well enough to get the job done. The video is way more interesting though, with some iconic moments like Dara fighting Star Wars stormtroopers for no reason and CL’s iconic facial Bedazzling.

11. I Don’t Care (reggae mix version)

An absolutely inferior and awful version of “I Don’t Care” from 2NE1’s debut EP, this supposedly “reggae mix” version barely even sounds like reggae at all thanks to the weird overly cluttered brass arrangement. It’s hard to fathom why this version of the song exists at all let alone was included on the album, but it’s there and you can skip it if you wanted, and you will.

12. Can’t Nobody (English version)

The English version of “Can’t Nobody” isn’t any different at all to the Korean version, the only change is the lyrics. Weirdly the censored “right now I don’t give a fuck” line in the Korean version at 1:44 is replaced by completely different words for the English version, which is an odd choice but that’s about as different as things get. Hey having the same song on there twice isn’t necessarily a bad thing if it’s a good song.

SPECIAL EDITION

The album never had a repackage with extra tracks but a special edition of the album did come with a second disc, a DVD that had the music videos for “Can’t Nobody”, “Go Away”, “Clap Your Hands”, “Follow Me”, and “It Hurts (slow)” on it. This special edition looks identical on the outside so good luck tracking it down if you give a shit.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

2NE1 were much-hyped back in the day for being a group that was “by women, for women” and that was all image-crafting bullshit of course (the girls were not involved in songwriting in any aspect, not even a single line of lyrics), but it was fun bullshit and “To Anyone” did a pretty good job of selling that lie to the k-pop listening public. The harsh sounds were tougher than usual for the day and Teddy’s production really shined through at a time when most other highly active k-pop producers were still struggling to polish their sound. It’s easy to see in retrospect why the group were so popular, and “To Anyone” mostly delivered on the promise of a female equivalent to BigBang, even if they didn’t have BigBang’s creativity, celebrity level or nightclubbing reputation. Recommended.

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That’s it for this post! Kpopalypse will return!

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

Gosh I hope G-Dragon doesn’t wear that shirt where his neighbours can see it.

ILLIT – It’s Me

Probably the best version of “let’s copy the trend started by Blackpink’s ‘Jump’ because it’s popular” that I’ve heard so far, this works because it gets the sounds and vibe just about perfect. Guess those Blackpink girls really did pave the way. The next plagiarism post is just going to be another 20 Illit entries I think, I’d better start making a list…

BABYMONSTER – Choom

“We’re seven but we ate” – credit due, that was a good one (at least until they start losing members), pity every single other line in the song is the most dogshit lyrics imaginable. Which would be fine if the song was any good musically but it’s just a messy NMIXX clone that can’t work out what it wants to do. And whoever is naming their songs is surely just taking the piss out of these poor girls and their dreams. Come on YG, get your shit together.

CORTIS – TNT

Yeah okay, this is just crap.

NMIXX – Crescendo

A slow, thudding millennial-style chorus lets down a song that’s otherwise pretty cool.

Lee Chaeyeon – No Tears On The Dancefloor

Lee Chaeyeon has been pretty consistently good and this is another consistently good song of hers. One of the better solo idol artists out there right now.

Yuju – First Love is a Curse

Pretty bland stuff, the very busy guitar doesn’t really help and the rest of it is just dull. Adequate replacement for Viviz inactivity this is not.

Soyou – Girl

Different and nice, this is probably the best thing Soyou’s been involved with ever since Sistar imploded.

Billlie – Work

Billlie finally dump the snoozefests and get back to the harsh, upbeat sounds that made their early songs like “Ring X Ring” and “GingaMingaYo” good. Let’s hope they keep it up. 2026 is getting better, folks.

Keyveatz – Key Beats

They unironically sing “see me going hard over this trap beat” in the softest part of the song, meanwhile the actual “hard” parts sound like a toddler ran amok in the studio bashing piano keys for fun, I guess it’s “hard” only in the sense that child-minding in the studio is apparently hard.

H//PE Princess – Stolen

Hslashslashpe Princess are back with a song that has an ear-poppingly bizarre track that’s almost good enough to make up for the lame vocal writing. Likewise the video would be good too if they ripped all the trash AI junk effects out of it. Stolen, indeed.

Moonbyul – Gise

The “After School Bang” coats don’t look good on anyone (not even After School themselves could pull that mess off visually) but Moonbyul makes it work as best she can, serving up much bading vibes as usual in a song that I’m not sure if I like, but it seems to suit her anyway.

CRAVITY – Awake

I was about to make some joke about it sending me to sleep instead but then it actually turned out to be pretty good. Damn these groups giving me decent music and fucking up my stupid puns.

82MAJOR – Sign

If I liked lame-ass R&B slop I’d probably think this was great, but I don’t, so it’s just kind of mid to me. Consider that a recommendation if you’re one of the people who complains that I’m racist just because I don’t listen to dogshit like Beyonce or whatever. No, seriously. I’m all about people finding the music that they love, happy to be of service. Just leave me out of it if it sounds like this.

LUCY – All Ages

Again this is a bit light and fluffy for my taste but it’s actually well written and I can dig it. Probably the song that delivers on the promise of their lineup the best, it sounds better the more you hear it.

B1A4 – CPR

It’s okay I guess but I’m bored over here.

KEYVITUP – Legendary

So bored.

MYNAME – Cool

What animal died to create that blue puffer jacket. Let’s pray for all the polyesters.

1MILLION – Lag Queen

As you would probably expect by a song released from a dance studio, the dancing looks good and the song is pretty much just a beat.

OFF-BLUE – Different Tide

Schedules are tough for the kids these days – these girls weren’t even given time to change out of their school’s shit uniform before shooting their video.

GENUS – Sugar Rush

These guys with their children’s TV poop song have the same video set as Keyvitup. I like it how they just let any old boy group do a dance on a helipad with no safety rails to stop anyone from falling off the edge. I wonder how many k-pop trainees have met their demise on windy days.

SF9 – Fade Into Memories

Fading into memories is exactly what SF9 are doing with songs like this.

THE 8 – Love is Gone

A pretty good song with very second-gen boy group vibes. This is better than half the songs on that BigBang album I reviewed a while back.

Park Jihoon – Bodyelse

There are a lot of songs this week that are just average, or maybe even slightly better than average, but just don’t have something really special to make them stand out. Here’s one of them. I can listen to it. It’s okay. But I won’t.

Hui – Dear Tomorrow

I feel like they’re rubbing it in my face that we have hardly any Christian Horse Girl music right now.

Kino feat. Mikey Angelo – Big Hoodie

I’m so bored of guys from boy groups going solo. We don’t want your music that badly, sorry. Aren’t there any restaurants hiring? Oh… they want girls too. Sucks to be you, I guess.

Ji Suyeon – Bluescreen

Mind you the girls going solo aren’t doing all that much better. And this is about the best one. You should hear ones I left out. Or better yet, don’t.

YongYong – Rockstar

It’s okay I guess, but really – Autotune and rock music is not a good mix. Dump that shit and the song would be a lot better.

Balming Tiger – Home

It’s different, I guess. Sounds like one of those slow isntrumental jams on a Beastie Boys record… but a more boring version.

Memi – BADidea

Actually quite good and really making me not want to listen to any more k-pop at all this week.

Luci Gang x Rohann – Get Jiggy!

It’s not too bad but then they turn the robot voice on and everything goes to complete shit. Rappers, why? Just stop that. Nobody likes it.

Ahfoné – Front Door

The robot voice almost works here though, I guess because it’s a more chaotic sound so it doesn’t stick out like a dog’s scrotum when he’s humping your NCT body pillow.

Jae Grenade – MIA

Not quite sure what they were smoking in the studio when they made this.

HYOKEY – Soulott

That girl from Ariaz who has all the really good viral videos about her k-pop experience just released a new song and… yeah, it’s a skip, totally boring.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

Neuros – K-Pop Idols Can Never Be REAL Musicians.

Nothing here that caonimas don’t know, but putting it here anyway because it’s a decent video and it’s always good to see more people talking about this stuff, because there’s always people finding this stuff out for the first time. A few mistakes – street casting is implied to be very important here but only a slim minority of people who get into groups are cast this way. Also most idols work seven days a week, it’s only six for the biggest companies. Good apart from this!

Hyeautiful – CORTIS and whiteness in k-pop

This person is a bit upset because black people aren’t getting their shine and I agree with a lot of his sentiments about k-pop (fans are in a bubble, superficial values, music is an afterthought), but criticising k-pop for ripping off black music, to me that’s the correct argument but coming from the wrong angle. People ripping you off is a compliment, it means you’re doing something relevant, so take it for what it is. The real issue is that they’re so clueless that they’re only ripping off the absolute most shit tier of black music 99% of the time. I’d actually like to see k-pop ripping off more black music, but the good stuff, but it seems like less and less people remember what the good stuff even is. That’s why I did an entire-ass year of black music features to try and educate people that there’s a lot more to black music than some dude mumbling into a pitch-shifter, or saying random shit and then the engineer stitches it together into an actual song later. Anyway the BTS criticism here is funny and worth the price of admission alone.

Led Apple – Run To You

Pretty cheesy faux-rock from back in the day but it’s aged well, not because of any rock connection, but more because of the pop sensibilities. The retro sound doesn’t quite work and this would have actually probably worked better with synths but just the fact that the hook is in the chorus vocal melody is something that’s sorely missed in boy groups these days.

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That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!