The Kpopalypse 2023 survey of important trufax – THE RESULTS!
It’s time to check out the results of the Kpopalypse 2023 survey of important trufax! Read on for all the trufaxual info!
Question 1: Hi! How are you? Answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.
Some selected responses, and my replies.
Hi, I am fine, but I lack direction in life. I have trouble to find opportunities and at the same time I am worried about inflation. I try my best to survive. I hope you are fine and healthy kpopalypse. BTW, I love the negative or funny sounding answers, they make me chuckle.Thanks for the content.
You can’t do much about inflation, probably best to just wallow in despair. (Not really, but I’m just hoping this negative answer will make you laugh and brighten your day.)
Some of my favourite YouTubers are now making shorts instead of regular videos and I hate it. If I had the attention span of a fly I’d be on TikTok.
Shorts are evil. A couple of times I tried to make a normal video and ended up making a short by mistake and I have no idea how this happened but I have felt unclean ever since.
I’ve been doing pretty good. Personal life is good, great friends, no mate but that also equals more free time and money, take from that what you will. Professional life is good, and I just quit playing an MMORPG so now I actually have time to play a few games that are coming out this year.
Going to keep riding this age of global KPop interest as long as it lasts, saw Twice in concert pre-pandemic but last year I saw Twice, Itzy, Ateez, Dreamcatcher, and Blackpink, this year so far I’ve only seen Dreamcatcher, it was like a sequel concert, barely any repeat songs and I did the high touch VIP event, and I am seeing Suga in May.
Congratulations!
I’m half-dead from work, but it’s time to do a survey, so it’s time to drop everything and do this. Work is less important than this.
That’s the way. I appreciate your prioritisation, although if you decided to do work and not the survey that would be okay too because at least you would have money and my readers having money is good.
Hi oppar! I’m doing well, just got out of a week-long migraine. Now I can finally dedicate all of my brainpower to figuring out how to order stuff online, so I can buy Show Me Love. Hope you’re doing great!
Thanks, I appreciate your support!
I am no longer planning suicide so I’ll take that as a big win.
All readers please stay alive as long as humanly possible. Because you know who DOESN’T kill themselves? All the world’s assholes who you wish would. So it’s important to stay alive to provide some balancing.
Trying to get up the energy to move out of home. It’s a comfy life but I know I’m not growing and I need to do it. London rent sucks balls tho. Pls give me some cao ni ma energy.
Sending my caonima energy your way and you may want to investigate share housing. If you find the right group of people it can be alright and can reduce your rent and bills significantly.
Pretty good actually! I’ve just celebrated my 36th birthday, I have my health and my family and a fulfilling career. I’ve also just realized that I’ve been a kpop fan for 20 years this year. I’m a bit let down by the meh-ness of Twice’s 2023 output so far, but am looking forward to CSR’s comeback. Hopefully they continue with the style that’s worked for them and don’t give in to any trendy “vibes” bullshit.
Congratulations for following k-pop even longer than Kpopalypse, yet also being younger than Kpopalypse! A rare caonima!
Hi my first year of college is going to get over in a month I am now officially too old to love kpop but I am holding on because I know you are way older than me.
Don’t let k-pop fans and their trendy ageism bother you. Funny how sexism and racism are both off limits for k-pop fans but ageism is totally fine for them and something they all pat each other on the back for, hey. Kpopalypse has much love for all readers regardless of their sex, race or age, all characteristics that can’t be helped and thus nobody should be judged for.
Well, I’m still alive and kicking. Listening to the likes of T-ara, Orange Caramel, Dreamcatcher etc. Also, jerking off a lot to my favorite NCT members. My top five are WayV’s Ten, Hendery, Xiaojun, Kun and Yangyang. I am also very fond of 127’s Jaehyun, Taeyong, Doyoung and Jungwoo, as well as Dream’s Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno (shoutout to blahblahblah622). Consider this as promotion for the 2023 fap survey. Also, stream Sticker and Bad Girlfriend.
All readers remember that the 2023 objectification survey is now just two months away!
Well recently I had my period, a UTI, and COVID all at the same time so that was unpleasant. Thankfully I’m better now. Also, a family member was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Sorry to hear about your family member, cancer is no fun. Glad you’re feeling better though!
Great, budgeting for your new novel! I will be just another purchase from the US, because I am doing my PhD here now, but I would have been a sale from Europe otherwise! Can’t wait to read it, something about your blog makes me think it will be a great read.
Thanks for your support! I tried to price it so it was reasonable and not too unaffordable.
Not Good. I just start working as a salesperson this year. But I am a shy person and a really bad talker. I don’t know how to handle a conversation so I am really stressed out right now.
Sales is about techniques, it’s not about your personality. If you can learn sales techniques you can sell, even if you are an introvert.
i just got visited by jehovahs witnesses so im a little frazzled
My mother used to get visited by Jehovahs Witnesses all the time and she would invite them in for tea and talk to them for hours. She had no intention of converting, she just liked the company. Eventually after the 50th visit and no sign of her getting closer to god they figured out that she was getting more out of the equation than they were and they left her alone.
It’s sad how people as attractive as Nayeon feel like they have to fix things that were never wrong to begin with just to look more boringly conventional isn’t it
Yes this makes me sad too. More on this later.
I managed to get a twice ticket today – so pretty stoked. Weird thing happened where the Sydney tickets (presale btw) sold out at around 11-ish? but some more ended up going up around 1 – and by that point the queue was pretty short so, very happy. Did you manage to get them?
I am sadly way too broke to go and see Twice. I would have to pay not just for tickets but also flights and a hotel, plus my expenses while over there, I wouldn’t see much change from $600 even if I was economising – that’s an expense I can’t afford right now with interest rates in my country recently becoming completely insane.
I’m good! Have a pretty good job prospect on the line so I’m excited about that. Currently studying my ass off to become a diplomat, though. Gonna try passing the exam for the second time this year. Good news is that if I manage to ever pass the exam I’ll be able spread the kpopalypse gospel throughout the world via boring government meetings.
I wish you well on your diplomatic future! If you are ever in the position to convince the Australian government to give me lots of money to go and see k-pop concerts that would be much appreciated.
I am, wow, a mixed bag. Last time you heard from me, I was in Taiwan teaching English. Now I’m back in my home country in grad school dealing with fucking bullshit chronic health. HOWEVER, despite not having universal healthcare anymore, I’m able to access really fancy treatments, so I actually have a hope of improving in the next six months or so! I hope so, cuz the last 3 years have been really difficult, with a lot of mobility issues and general shittiness.
ALSO, profs keep blowing up my ego and it’s kind of killing me. It’s wonderful, but having a paper called brilliant (I AM SO SORRY for the humblebrag here) is making me a monster. Although it’s also really fun to play around in ideas again. I’m getting more sure I want to go into research, but finding a job is kind of scary, and I can’t go get a PhD because I have a fellowship meaning I need to go into the government. I want to do that, but it is literally limiting my options.
Overall, I am: in my thirties. Learning so much, happy, scared, excited, sad, horny, tired. All of it all the time, evidently. Oh, and my arm itches from the dumb wonderful shots I have to get all the time that will hopefully make me feel better.
Good news – mostly! Good luck!
i’m doing amazing since a.) my union just won our vote & our university is legally required to recognize us and b.) i am one step closer to having my fallopian tubes removed and reclaiming agency over my own body & mental health. in unrelated info i live in the USA although i have no idea how anyone would get that impression
Awesome!
I can’t stop losing on LoL so bad
Me neither. I pretty much don’t play it anymore because people there are almost as toxic as k-pop fans. I thought that if I ranked higher people would be more mature but it’s the other way around, the casual gamers are chill and all the ranked people are greater dicks the higher up you go.
do you actually read all these or select a few long ones at random
I definitely read them all otherwise how would I have found this?
Your challenge to find a political love poem threw me off a little bit, to be honest. That you then also took away the easy “Azalea” pick was also a bit mean. I also thought it would be a bit of a cop-out to chose any other work from Kim Sowol, who certainly has many other poems like that. I, however, found something that I believe fullfils your requirement! I will present to you two poems from contemporary poet Chung Ho-seung. He is quite well known in Korea, however not a particularly well known figure abroad. Born in 1950, he is part of the old guard of the contemporary Korean literary scene. He has published an extensive catalogue of poetic and some belletristic works since the 1970s. He grew up in poverty, came out of it and began writing poems that reflected the lives of the poor. On that, I found the following quote of his in the 2016 release “Though flowers fall, I have never forgotten you”: “A water lily puts down its roots amid the muddy slime polluted by all kinds of trash that people have thrown away. Thus, the water lily originates in a very real place, and is bound to suffer pain in consequence. Yet the flowers which the water lily produces from that slime of pain are pure and beautiful. I have long reckoned that my poems should resemble the water lily.”.
Chung writing style is often described as „simple“. He, in fact, specifically tries to write as simple as possible. There was a huge discussion going on during the 70s and 80s in Korea, in which poets just fought each other about how simple poetry should be, basically. Chung was a fierce defender of the sentiment that life itself is poetry, and that poetry that disfigures its meaning with multiple layers of metaphors and symbolism cannot achieve what poetry should achieve: To give hope to the hopeless.
You could argue that Chung, especially in relation to his contemporaries like Ko Un (who is I would argue the most (in)famous poet from that generation, someone that has actively engaged in political discussios with his works and does so to this day), is a very much unpolitical writer. He has not really published works that have to do with democratisation or the two military dictatorships that he has published under since the 70s. I would, however, argue that the reflections of poverty in his works are inherently linked to the economic transformation of South Korea. That transformation has been rapid, especially under dictator Park Chung-hee, and has left many people behind. Poverty, especially with the elderly, of which more than a fourth live in poverty, is a huge problem in South Korea. Scenes of despair and impoverishment, especially in contrast to the bright lights of Seoul, which is where many of Chung’s poems take place, can certainly be used to understand the sociopolitical landscape of the country.
Let me now show you a poem of his:
맹인 부부 가수
눈내려 어두워서 길을 잃었네/
갈 길은 멀고 길을 잃었네/
눈사람도 없는 겨울밤 이 거리를/
찾아오는 사람 없어 노래 부르니/
눈 맞으며 세상 밖을 돌아가는 사람들뿐/
등에 업은 아기의 울음소리를 달래며/
갈 길은 먼데 함박눈은 내리는데/
사랑할 수 없는 것을 사랑하기 위하여/
용서받을 수 없는 것을 용서하기 위하여/
눈사람을 기다리며 노랠 부르네/
세상 모든 기다림의 노랠 부르네/
눈 맞으며 어둠 속을 떨며 가는 사람들을/
노래가 길이 되어 앞질러 가고/
돌아올 길 없는 눈길 앞질러 가고/
아름다움이 이 세상을 건질 때까지/
절망에서 즐거움이 찾아올 때까지/
함박눈은 내리는데 갈 길은 먼데/
무관심을 사랑하는 노랠 부르며/
눈사람을 기다리는 노랠 부르며/
이 겨울 밤거리의 눈사람이 되었네/
봄이 와도 녹지 않을 눈사람이 되었네/
ㅡ
A blind couple’s song
Snow has fallen, it has gotten dark, and so we have lost our way.
A long way still to go, and we have lost our way.
On this road in this winter night, not even a snowman in sight,
No one comes our way, so we sing.
Only people who wander around the world in the snow,
Soothing the cries of the baby carried on the back,
A long way still to go, but snow is falling down heavily.
To love what cannot be loved,
To forgive what that cannot be forgiven,
We sing a song, and wait for a snowman,
We sing a song about all the waiting in the world.
The song turns into a path,
That outruns all the people wandering about in the snow, trembling in the dark,
That outruns them with no way to return,
Until beauty saves this world,
Until joy arises from despair.
It snows so heavily and there is still such a long way to go.
We sing a song about loving indifference,
We sing a song about waiting for snowmen.
We have become the snowmen on this road in this winter night.
We have become snowmen that won’t melt even when the spring has come.
ㅡ
This is a poem from his book „Jesus of Seoul“ (서울의 예수) from 1982, probably his most famous work. It is representative for Chung’s general style – expressing the glim reality of poor Koreans, but trying to also give a small glimmer of hope.
The poem often repeats its verbs at the end, there are groups of sentences that follow the same structure, and some ideas get repeated as well (e.g. the „there’s still such a long way to go“). Because of that, I think that the poem is quite beautiful, and reads very well, at least in Korean. I hope I was able to competently translate it as well.
The ”Jesus of Seoul“ book is also, as the title might suggest, full of Christian themes, as Chung himself is Catholic. The religious themes in this specific poem might not be fully graspable without the context of the rest of the book. I can only recommend the whole book, or at least to read the ”Jesus of Seoul“ poem, and would’ve loved to translate it for you, but it sadly doesn’t fit the prompt, and you can find it translated into English on the web if you search for it anyway.
The second poem I want to share is much shorter, and also only vaguely connected to the prompt from the beginning:
미안한다
길이 끝나는 곳에 산이 있었다/
산이 끝나는 곳에 길이 있었다/
다시 길이 끝나는 곳에 산이 있었다/
산이 끝나는 곳에 네가 있었다/
무릎과 무릎 사이에 얼굴을 묻고 울고 있었다/
미안한다/
너를 사랑해서 미안한다/
ㅡ
I am sorry
At the end of the street, there was a mountain.
At the end of the mountain, there was a street.
At the end of that street, again, there was a mountain.
At the end of that mountain, there was you.
With your face burried between your knees, you were crying.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for loving you.
ㅡ
This little poem from the 1999 poetry collection „Love and die“ (사랑하다가 죽어버려라) is just a nice love poem, dealing with someone simply coming too late, not being able to cross all the hurdles in time to reach his one love. I just wanted to share it because I like it and to show how simple Chung‘s writing is. The Korean original, I think, can be understood by everyone that passed Topik level 2. It still manages to convey an intense feeling that many people will be able to relate to.
With this, I hope you enjoyed this insight into Chung‘s poetry, and that I have succesfully completed your challenge. Have a nice day.
I don’t know if these poems are meant to look like this or if Google forms just bugged out, but if it bugged out feel free to resumbit! [EDIT: fixed the jankiness, I think it looks like it’s supposed to now] Sorry wasn’t trying to make the request harder… but thank you!
Hello, i’m mostly fine. Stuck in a religious cult i cant get out of, bc if i do i would not be able to talk to my friends or parents, but other than that i’m fine.
Cool. Not sure how to help with the cult thing but I’ll still talk to you if that helps.
Hi oppar. Think I’ve been reading you since 2015/6 so this is probably my 7th year of filling out the survey. Truly admire your consistency of keeping up this site!! I’m not in a good place rn, my partner is very ill so it’s a terrifying time. Pls send thots and prayers. I just bought your book yesterday and look forward to read it.
Thanks for continuing to read this site! Sending you my thoughts and I don’t really pray in the traditional sense but I hope your partner improves!
Fuck off cunt, go die in a desert hole covered in your own feaces and urine. How about you?
I’m great, thanks for asking!
I spent too long trying to come up with an answer to this question before realizing the answer was just to write exactly this and submit the damn survey.
Well played!
Question 2: How excited are you to be filling out another Kpopalypse survey?
Most people were either happy to do the survey, or just happy to have their time filled with something to distract themselves, so hopefully I was able to help enhance your lives!
Question 3: What is your sexuality?
It’s well known that Kpopalypse has more LGBT readers than straight readers, but did you also know that Kpopalypse has lots of confused and curious readers? Well now you do!
Question 4: Important demographic question for all you racists out there: what is your favourite type of race?
I’ve always said that most k-pop fans are racists, and now I have proof! Out of those who did enjoy racism, swimming was your favourite type of race, and boats were your least favourite type. Cheers to the just over one third of readers who were brave enough to stand up against the scourge that is racism in society.
Question 5: Have you read the debut Kpopalypse novel Show Me Love?
Only a very slim minority of readers have actually completed the novel “Show Me Love“. For those of you who haven’t read it but would like to, some helpful things to know:
- If money is an issue, remember that for all of April and up until late May, the novel is free to read for anybody with a Kindle Unlimited subscription. So you can read the novel without having to pay anything by signing up for a Kindle Unlimited free trial, just remember to cancel the trial before the 30-day trial period expires if you don’t want to get charged.
- After May the novel will be removed from Kindle Unlimited, which means it will no longer be free on the trial. The reason why I want to remove it is that it will allow me to add it to some other vendors stores, as some of you have issues with Amazon. So if you’re one of the ones holding back because you don’t want to give money to Jeff Bezos or you just have problems with Amazon in general, you will be able to get it from other vendors at that time. If there’s any particular vendor you’d like to see it on, let me know.
As for those who don’t want to read it… well, that’s completely understandable.
Question 6: Who is your Show Me Love bias?
Naturally Hana had the advantage, being the main character. Youngsook was at a disadvantage in this poll as her image hasn’t been created at the time of writing, so it’s only natural that she came last, but I think some of you will find her very biasable when you see her. Adorable Chinese member Shu took out the sport for most popular character who isn’t Hanahanahanahanahanahana…
Question 7: Ideas for future fiction stuff, tick all that you would be interested in
Thanks for your feedback!
To be as transparent with my plans as I can be at this stage:
- The Shin Hana story will definitely continue with at least two more novels. The first novel “Show Me Love” covers up to debut, the second “Love Light” will be all about what happens to the group immediately after debut, and I can’t tell you about what happens after that for risk of spoilering the second book.
- “Annotated Director’s Cut” of the series could happen but will only happen once all books in the Shin Hana series are written and complete, because any director’s commentary is obviously going to be spoilery in nature. Undecided on the best format for this, but I feel like e-book exclusive may be best.
- New unrelated novels could happen after this, although what they will be exactly I couldn’t say. No concrete plans at this stage, but I did enjoy writing “Show Me Love” a lot so chances of more novels are really good.
- The potential for other stories in the Shin Hana “universe” is a possibility, such as the story of other characters in the same timeframe.
- Existing fanfic as an e-book/paperback is unlikely given that few people want it and I don’t think the quality there is as good. If I do this, the fanfics will get a rewrite of some type.
- The ‘candidate reports’ are expensive to make so there’s no rush for more scene-setting stuff but I do have a specific plan here that I won’t spoil…
- Also have been thinking about options for an audiobook, as it’s been requested. Amazon won’t release audiobooks for Australian authors though, but it’s a possibility on other platforms…
My main takeaway from all of this is that you people really like ticking boxes.
Question 8: Here’s a video of Yua Mikami announcing her upcoming retirement.
Yua Mikami is quitting JAV on her 30th birthday in August. What’s the most rational reaction to this?
I like the idea of doing one more article for Asian Junkie to celebrate Yua’s retirement but I’m not sure if he would consider it relevant content and/or edit the crap out of it to try and cobble it into something ‘sensible’ thus defeating the point. If nothing else you can definitely expect a final episode of the Yua Mikami drama reviews posts.
Question 9: A lot of people talk about sexualising an idol and whether it’s good or bad, but what actually IS “sexualising an idol”? Tick all options below that you would define as “sexualising an idol”.
Everyone complains about sexualiation, but what IS it? From most sexualising to least, your choices were:
Being a CEO of a company and making my idol employees do stuff in private that could be perceived as sexual – 89.2%
Being a CEO of a company and making my idol employees do stuff for the public that could be perceived as sexual – 88.7%
Writing a smutty fanfiction with the idol in it – 65.9%
Fapping while doing any of the other options listed except the “CEO” ones – 64.8%
Wishing they were in a smutty fanfiction – 53%
Thinking about marrying them and having babies – 35.8%
Putting them in a beauty/attractiveness ranking list – 35.8% (tied with above)
Writing an important scientific study that analyses their features – 30.4%
Writing about how they look on posts or social media – 27.2%
Buying all their stuff because I’m obsessed – 20.4%
Thinking about how they look – 19.4%
Looking at their picture – 17.2%
Posting and sharing their pictures – 16.9%
Interesting to note that most people felt my important scientific boobs studies and fashion class posts that have a heavy scientific focus were in fact NOT sexualisation, however the objectification surveys were deemed to be more sexualising. Of course this wasn’t a poll about whether you approved of sexualisation or not, only about how you would personally define it. Thanks to all readers who assisted in this important research mission!
Question 10: Who is Moonbyul dating?
Solar, Moonbyul’s partner in the “Mamamoo+” subunit appeared to be the most popular choice, which would certainly be convenient for the two members if it happened to be true, as inter-agency dating sure is a bunch of headfucks apparently.
Question 11: Does SinB look like Jessica?
Not many people thought SinB looked like Jessica, but a lot of readers did feel that SinB looked a bit like Rachel Kim, the main character from Jessica’s books “Shine” and “Bright“, who definitely is a very fictional character in a very fictional story of fiction that is at least as fictional as my own fictional story, maybe even more.
Question 12: Kpopalypse is always trying to be helpful to people with OCD tendencies so they can one day overcome their disorder. With this in mind, how OCD are you?
Most people picked a 5 for OCD levels, and that’s probably because I formatted the question buttons where the scale of 1 to 10 was labelled with 10 at the 1 end and 1 at the 10 end. So hopefully that was helpful.
Question 13: I sent this picture of my cat to Yua Mikami to commemorate her decision to retire. Does this cat picture mrcs?
Thanks for your support! Yua didn’t respond to the cat picture, but that’s fine, I get that she’s a busy person with a lot going on. Perhaps she can catch my cat on a livestream one day.
Question 14: Do you care about the SM/Kakao/HYBE stuff?
It wasn’t surprising that nobody really cared about the SM/Kakao/HYBE stuff. I’m still not completely sure about what’s going on here, but I’ve been too lazy to do the five minutes of reading up on it that it would probably take for me to give a fuck.
Question 15: Which Kpopalypse “JAV Of The Month” did you enjoy the most over the last six months?
While most readers didn’t actually have an opinion as they didn’t see the films in question, for those of you who did check out these videos, the results were:
5th – December 2022 – Big Butt Bitch Female Boss Licks Anal And Invites Raw Vaginal Cum Shot Suffocating With Anus Cunnilingus With Pile Driving – MIAA-753
4th (tie) – September 2022 – The sweet smell from her hair and her slippery thighs give him an ungrateful erection… – ROYD-103
4th (tie) – February 2023 – HEY, you! Let’s pacco in a tuk-tuk! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Wanna have a harem with a gal? Let’s have a trip fuck! – BLK-618
3rd – January 2023 – On a hot spring trip to celebrate my retirement, I keep getting creampied by my boss… – JUQ-170
2nd – November 2022 – A Business Trip Entertainment lady That Continued To Be Vaginally Creampied By The Arrogant President. – JUQ-141
WINNER – October 2022 – Unprotected Big Ass Gal Gets Fucked Immediately! A Lascivious Gal Who Became a Sexual Desire Monster Came In On Her Own The Next Day And Made Me Cum Inside Her Again and Again Until I Was Satisfied… – DVDMS-883
I decided not to include front cover images this time around because I’m too fucking lazy I didn’t want to objectify people we all know I can’t stand that type of thing they were too hot for reader consumption First Rabbit has to cope with Nayeon not having bunny teeth any more so I wanted to reduce the amount of “wrapping it softly” jokes in this post just to help them cope during this difficult time. If you really want to know what these films look like, Google is your friend (and Google SafeSearch isn’t).
Question 16: Do you want more JAV coverage on Kpopalypse?
Given Yua Mikami’s upcoming retirement, JAV will definitely be becoming less relevant to the k-pops. Therefore I’d say that JAV coverage at Kpopalypse.com is very likely to decrease over the next year, unless we’re lucky enough to have another JAV/k-pop crossover success story as profound as Honey Popcorn (which seems unlikely), or unless someone from a well-known group gets busted with a big JAV collection or similar. So that should please those of you who pointed out elsewhere that you don’t like JAV very much and wish that I’d stop banging on about it, and I hope for your sake that oppar keeps his hard drive well hidden from Yerin otherwise I’m going to feel compelled to write about it and annoy you – just know that if that happens, it’s nothing personal, I’m not trying to give you a hard time or make you feel bad or excluded, I just need to cover these things for the same reason that a religious person needs to pray every now and then. For the rest of you, if you are displeased about the gradual decline in JAV content, there’s always other channels like QRIMOLE and Retrospring if you want to ask me about the important issues surrounding JAV today.
Question 17: Here is a video of aespa doing some photo shoot or whatever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how awkward and uncomfortable are the aespa girls in this video?
Kpopalypse readers were definitely feeling the awkwardness of aespa doing some photo shoot thing or whatever. Hopefully they were not too uncomfortable when doing some photo shoot thing or whatever and hopefully as time goes on in their careers they grow as people and become more comfortable about doing some photo shoot thing or whatever.
Question 18: Are you enjoying weekly black music features in roundup?
I’m happy to see that people have been mostly enjoying the weekly black music features in roundup, where I substitute one crap song nobody cares about with some black music of much better quality. These will definitely continue throughout the rest of 2023, and once 2023 is over I’ll probably switch to something else, although I don’t know it will be just yet.
Question 19: What’s your least favourite horrible music trend negatively affecting k-pop song quality lately?
The slow half-time chorus after the exciting build-up was the big winner (or is that “loser”) in this question. Groans have been echoing all through the kpoposphere lately as song after song slows to a boring crawl in the chorus after promising so much more. We hope for k-pop to improve.
Question 20: Which companies would be your preferred destination if you were someone trying to be a k-pop, tick all that apply
JYP was the big winner in the company competition, althbough it’s worth nothing that not a single company managed to convince more than half of the Kpopalypse readership. Note that “TME” is the fictional agency in “Show Me Love”, and they did pretty well overall given the amount of dirty laundry that my readers have on them…
Question 21: To be quite honest I’ve been not even slightly interested in doing boobs posts for many years now, but their mere existence upsets so many people that they still seem worth doing just to piss people off. Should I keep doing them?
A controversial question that hotly divided readers, I’m still unsure about if I should keep doing the boobs post series that everyone keeps missing the point of, but then people missing the point of them is all part of the fun so I don’t know. I’ll think about what I want to do, I guess.
Question 22: With both Yua Mikami and Apink potentially winding up their k-pop relevance soon, who will be the next big individual or group to dominate the Kpopalypse #1 most fappable k-pop list? You can skip this question if you are as clueless about this as I am right now.
Thank you for all your responses and suggestions here! I will think on it carefully.
Question 23: Observe the below tweet.
What’s likely next?
Gosh I have no idea where I got the idea for that first option. Anyone who has seen hot police uniform cosplay by aespa and NCT members, please feel free to share for research purposes.
Question 24: Since “Apartheid Clyde” has been running Twitter into the ground recently, I’ve been noticing a sharp decrease in people noticing what I put up there. What should I do about this?
I liked the Chuu idea too. No idea what other social network can really take the place of Twitter, Mastodon was suggested by a few of you but I’ve been trying it out and it’s honestly not really an acceptable substitute (the “local” vs “federated” distinction is a huge barrier to usefulness). Here’s hoping Clyde devalues Twitter to the point where I can buy it off him for ten cents soon.
Question 25: How shit are the reviews in Roundup? Should I change shittiness levels?
Roundup is definitely by far the most popular content on my site (I still can’t work out exactly why) so I’m glad that most of you are happy with the (lack of) effort that I put into creating these posts.
Question 26: Here’s a picture of Nayeon before and after her recent bunny-teeth straightening.
What’s the silver lining on this dark, dark cloud?
The first and last choices were the most popular but they’re probably both way too optimistic, sadly. We can dream.
Question 27: Don’t lie – do you actually read Kpopalypse Nugu Alert?
I have the numbers and trust me – you guys mostly don’t read it. That’s why everyone else who features “nugus” tends to not go to the very nugu depths that I do and tends to sprinkle in a fair few C-list groups that are at least mildly popular among k-pop fans, because they just can’t drive any traffic or engagement otherwise. Fortunately I don’t really give a fuck about those things so you can expect the nugu stanning to continue!
Question 28: Thank you for doing the survey! If you have any feedback for Kpopalypse, or anything else you’d like to say, please put it here. This question is optional.
Some selected responses, and my replies:
I’m a casual reader and I usually go to your blog every couple weeks and I really like your humor and honesty. You actually inspired me to start -finally- making kpop content for Spanish speaking audiences. So, thank you. I hope you continue with your blog for a long time.
Good to hear! Good luck with this!
hey so like your book was good and i cant wait for the sequel but im gonna go rate it a 1 on amazon now because of the ocd question, keep in mind that you did this to yourself and this is your punishment
ahahahaha I calmly accept
The Moonbyul question’s missing the real answer, which is that she’s dating the girl reading this.
Congratulations! Please ask your gf if she’ll do an interview with me.
Keep up the good work oppar still the realest in the game. Show Me Love was compelling and one of the most interesting books I’ve read in a long time eagerly awaiting Love Light!
Thank you!
You recommended some spaceship murder scene clean up game a while ago to a fellow cao ni ma to get them to learn to love cleaning and sort out their mess. I don’t like murder but I needed this idea. I downloaded power wash simulator as it is dirt without the murder but all I have achieved so far is cleaning a stegosaurus. My room is the same. I will reflect and return with a less hip hop image.
The game you’re thinking of is this one.
Always love checking your blog! Keep up the great work cunt
Thanks!
Hope you don’t mind if I use this space to give you some feedback on Show Me Love. First of all, I read the book as soon as it arrived in less than half a day and I must say it exceeded my expectations! All the girls in the group were extremely likable and I appreciate that you gave them huge flaws but also huge reasons to empathise with them. I agree with the user on Retrospring who said you characterised them very believably, I don’t see that nearly enough in fiction. Not a single moment in the book was wasted or a bore, which I NEVER see in fiction. One thing I thought since you posted the short story is [SPOILER removed]
By the way, the last time I took this survey, I wrote I was planning to write a story with a subplot about a KPop idol and the toxicity of fans, and guess what, you posted the short story just a couple days later if I remember correctly. And some details in the book like what happens in the spoiler I mentioned ended up being very similar to what I was planning to write, completely unintentionally. Boram psychic powers again maybe?
Thinking about the people who could be taken down the memory lane by reading your book really got the wheels in my brain turning, that’s for sure… I hope I’ll be able to read the next book soon. Cheers!
(I still disagree with you shitting on JPop every chance you get though. Also, I wish I could tick all the boxes in the question about shitty KPop trends)
Thanks for your feedback!
Re: “spoiler” I see where you’re coming from but I deliberately didn’t do that because it seemed like too far of an unrealistic 180 degree shift in thinking. Hana’s character development is snails-pace slow, because I have to spread it out over an entire book series, and it doesn’t feel right for her to change how she feels about things too fast, too soon.
Just found this website a couple months ago and I’m really enjoying it. I would like your reviews of songs in the roundup to be a little longer but other than that keep up the great work.
Thanks for reading! Note that I do annual favourites and worst lists, so that’s where the longer reviews are.
Why aren’t you including Rachel Kim’s agency DB Entertainment? I wanted to tick the box for it, too.
I also enjoy Bang Shi-hyuk’s journey to be Entertainment Industry’s answer to Jeff Bezos. He’s doing a lot of data mining from Weverse, I think he wants to build South Korea’s very own AWS (Amazon’s Cloud Service), with a nice little bonus to gain a know-how to create a ‘perfect’ idol group from all the data collected by Weverse.
Then, about Kwangya 119, I hope Karina reports SM for not giving clothes that suits her. Isn’t that a slander against Karina’s body?
Finally, I am thinking of learning classical piano again after stopping back in elementary school. I still understand the basics and how to read a music sheet, but my fingering (not the sexual kind) technique is basically non-existent now. Come to think of it, back when I’m still studying, my biggest struggle is at fingering, they’re too slow. Do you have any tips on how to improve it?
Can’t believe I’ve been a reader since 2013, It has been a decade. Keep up with the good work!
I will reflect re DB Entertainment.
Best improvement is practice and I know that’s a very boring answer but it’s true. Try to practice a little in short bursts each day rather than massive long sessions at lower frequency that wear you out.
i love your cat
Me too
It seems like you are worried about declining views? But I feel like this might be a temporary effect of TikTok and Twitter sort of winding down. You should make sure to jump onto the next big social Media Plattform early though.
Either way I like your content, especially your weekly roundup, lists (of best/worst songs etc) and music theory stuff (even though it’s sometimes hard to get through them because they are long and densely packed with information, which is actually great, but my work already requires me to read a lot, as I work in scientific research, so I have reading burn out when I have time to go to your blog)
Perhaps you could make more music related lists? Such as best/worst kpop songs of a specific genre? Or make suggestesions about equivalent western songs to good kpop songs, since you have such wide musical literacy?
I think this content would be cool.
Also I want to say that if the JAV stuff stopped I wouldn’t mind. Like those headlines make me super uncomfortable and it almost seems like they have increased on your blog, but you do you.
Just imagine having to read about various weird, unnatural portrayals of your sexual organs and body, not only day in and day out on the internet since you were young, but also now in your “hobby”.Being used to Internet culture, I will probably still come back to this blog, but I am not browsing as much as I used to and most girls, who make up the majority of the kpop fanbase, have likely firmer boundaries. If there was some sort of filter one can apply, that’d be great.
I think the declining views has more to do with the gradual rise of deepfake sites. The sex content actually drives a ton of traffic to the site (you can see this in the “today’s top posts” which always revert straight to boobs posts on days when I haven’t posted a roundup or a new post of some other type) but since people can get that content easier now from those places, they’ve got less patience for some caonima like me who is probably trolling them anyway.
With Yua Mikami retiring I think you’ll see the JAV content here decrease slightly, although it won’t go away completely just like my other cunty behaviours won’t. I agree that my writing isn’t to everyone’s taste and although I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it, I do understand why some may not want to read certain aspects of it. However I stand by doing things the way that I do them because I believe in having a positive attitude towards sex, sexuality and porn and that one can have these views AND be genuinely respectful to people, and this absolutely is a hill I will die on. I appreciate the tolerance of every reader who doesn’t agree but reads anyway so thank you for continuing to read. Filtering is probably beyond what my fairly inflexible website back-end interface can accomplish unfortunately.
Hello kind Kpopalypse Sir, if you do another boobs post (or any other post about K-Pop actually), please stick to real idols instead of including people like “Velvet” or any random Korean chick with a big balcony?! I mean, c’mon, there is plenty to choose from already :p Love and bye.
Actually there really isn’t, which is one of the other reasons why those posts have decreased in frequency over the years (other than me getting bored with writing them). K-pop fans always get obsessed with the idea that their fave is busty but with very few exceptions it’s the outfit/camera/presentation doing the work, and your fan-skewed eyes doing the rest of the work. A lot of this is on the companies who drive this on purpose, something that I try to point out (and get misunderstood on often).
Job hunting is dehumanizing. Why are they asking for my MBTI and IQ test results? Why would they need a 5-minute video where I cheerily introduce myself and give them a gist of my employment history if it’s just a back office job?
If a job interviewer asks for MBTI just walk out.
Thank you for all you do! The weekly roundups, yearly lists, nugu alerts, objectification surveys, the fun little links you sprinkle throughout your posts, the fiction, all of it. It’s been a joy to read, not just as a kpop fan but as a supporter of independent writing.
Twice just won on one of those stupid weekly music show popularity contests, and did an encore performance of their boring new song… with a fun relay dance instead of their attempt at live singing. It’s what they should have been doing all these years, I guess good on them for just now embracing their true strength as a group.
Thanks for your support! Kpopalypse remains completely independent (and I get offers for sponsorships and deals OFTEN) and I’m glad you appreciate it!
Maybe you’re just fucking around but if you actually believe Elon is destroying the world on any comparable level to the world empire that has turned your country into its personal submarine base for when it starts an insane WAR over Taiwan then you are brainwashed. I don’t care for him and think his intention to create “‘X’ the everything app” out of twitter is creepy and should be condemned but cmon bro you sound like the garden variety hysterical idiot with the Elon posting, it’s out of character for you. Read some Caitlin Johnstone (Aussie commie journalist) and get your priorities straight. She doesn’t like Elon either but isn’t a programmed NPC that pretends he’s some unique evil. Disclaimer: I am not a commie but know you lean left so might find her work useful. Other than that keep it up been reading your stuff for like a decade now and want to thank you and NUGU ALERT for alerting me to Ether’s Shape of Love.
I don’t honestly think Clyde is destroying anything lately except his own business credibility. I just like picking on him because he spent $47 billion buying a social network and he could have bailed out Loona for 0.01% of that amount and didn’t. He didn’t even get Chuu a Tesla. Tsk tsk. Thanks for reading for a full decade, and you’re a Nugu Alert reader too, I’m super impressed!
This is just a suggestion, maybe it would only benefit me but I would really love if there were just a list of the songs each week that you actually liked…usually I read roundup for unknown songs you feature, but most of them you don’t like and I don’t care to listen to them all so I look through to just find the ones that have a positive review. I know the list might be short so even if it was just once a month that would be very helpful for me. Maybe others?
I do annual lists of these, type “favourite” into my search bar and you’ll find them. I suppose I could do something like this weekly/monthly but honestly I think it would detract partly from the fun of writing roundup. I’d rather people get the reviews in a format where they don’t know what they’ll get until they read it. There’s enough other sites out there serving up sugar-coated content who are afraid to speak their minds or say bad things. With my writing, you come along for the ride, or you don’t, but the ride is kind of the point. I deliberately don’t isolate out the good ‘easy to read/cope with’ stuff. There’s no trainer option. You must be ‘this tall’ to ride.
Do a JGV (japanese gay porn) drama review.
If I can make it relevant to k-pop I definitely will. If any k-pop boys make it into gay JAV please let me know relevant people, catalog numbers etc.
It wouldn’t let me check that box in particular, but I think a paperback anthology of all your fan fiction would be so slay and it would be super convenient for those of us who like re-reading your works from time to time (the Irene one, the Block B multiverse one, the T-ara vs AOA one and Project Luhan are still my favs)
If I were going to do a ‘collected fanfic’ type of book, I’d have to significantly rewrite the fanfics. Which could be fun, or it could be just cringe. Honestly I don’t think the early fanfics are that well written in retrospect.
I have an English degree and while that is doing FUCK ALL for me on the career front, I think it’s obnoxious cred enough for me to say, as wrapping it softly as I can, that your fic endeavors could use an editor. I think your plots/ideas are fucking cool, but the book as a whole could’ve benefitted from quite a bit of tweaking. I don’t even mean deleting anything, I just mean such as, move this sentence here, this is a dangling participle (yes, yes, make the joke), you really need a comma here, how about trying this? etc etc. Now, if you WANTED the story to read chaotic and disjointed due to an unreliable narrator (and wow is she unreliable), then I will gladly piss off.
The book is in first person from Hana’s perspective and is narrated as such, on purpose. I actually wrote the book more ‘correctly’ in the first instance and then went through it and ‘scattered’ the narration quite considerably, because I wanted it to read like an emotionally unbalanced teenage girl with massive bias and some serious axes to grind had written it. There were many times where I wrote something and then read it back to myself and thought “that reads really well, but Hana would NOT tell the story like that” so I went back and fucked it up a bit, removed fancier words and ideas and replaced them with stuff that’s more in keeping with Hana’s character and what her internal thoughts would be. I’m trying to reflect the chaos and specific mentality that’s happening inside Hana’s brain, while at the same time trying to tell a coherent story. Those two goals aren’t completely compatible, and sometimes even completely at odds with each other! So it’s tricky to get the right balance. I hope I did at least okay. Glad you enjoyed the story!
i hope you have a small happiness today because we all need these in life too along with the big happiness. may your food be the perfect temperature or you hit all the green lights or the weather is your favorite or something idk
Cheers, thank you!
Keep up the great work. Your website is always a great read whenever I decide to check in, and always gives my a good laugh. I hope you have a fantastic rest of the week.
Thanks!
I really like the bedding your cat is on, the skulls really pop. Your GF has good taste (I guess you’re included too by default). I also would buy your physical merch if you have some, oh and I need to go get your book. No NFTs please. Take care!
I guess the book is my physical merch. You can thank my gf for that bedding, she picked those out, she’s very much a goth kinda girl so they’re very much her style.
ngl I haven’t paid for an ebook in years so I’m hoping yours shows up on a piracy site soon. If it doesn’t I might bite the bullet and shell out money. I am curious how you’re gonna continue the Hana saga if the book ends the same way as the website story did unless she magically doesn’t get arrested somehow. Anyways thanks for running this site, best English kpop coverage out there
Thanks! See above for how to read the book for free…
Oppa are u ever gonna release Show Me Love for a discount?
I’m hesitant because that would be punishing the people who bought it early, which I’m really reluctant to do.
well the test came out positive so thats great. excited for motherhood!
out of curiosity, how many kpopalypse readers in the process of becoming/are parents do you think there are?
Wow, congratulations! I think there would be quite a few few, feel free to comment below if so!
Good job being a cunt so far. Please continue to do so till the day die.
I think it’s inevitable. Thanks for reading!
That’s all for this post! Kpopalypse shall return!
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