The Kpopalypse 2025 bias list
It’s time to update the Kpopalypse bias list for 2025! Let’s take a look at who Kpopalypse is biasing this year!
Regular Kpopalypse readers have all probably either participated in or at the very least read the results of the objectification surveys – but I do not participate in those myself other than to count your votes and write about them, so they are not reflective of the opinion of Kpopalypse, but the reader base (and wherever the reader base deems to spread the voting questions). However, the Kpopalypse bias list is 100% all about my opinion and nothing else. Note that this is a list of pure “meeting required standards” only, and therefore is roughly analogous to the “most attractive” segment of the objectification survey, although aspects other than raw physical appearance are a factor, because attractiveness isn’t just about appearance, after all.
Know that the Kpopalypse bias list is always in a state of flux and receives consistent updates, as new people become a k-pop and are thus eligible, while others stop being a k-pop and are therefore no longer eligible. Furthermore, k-poppers may come to the attention of myself through various activities, and others who have been less active may begin to be prioritised lower as they cease to provide “material”. Let’s now check out 2025’s Kpopalypse bias list!
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THE KPOPALYPSE 2025 BIAS LIST
#1 – EUNHA – VIVIZ
Eunha takes the number one this year purely because of effort. Determination matters a lot in these lists, and Eunha has been very determined to enhance my life with lots of ass-shaking Viviz stages. Unlike a lot of other girls who are forced to do this type of shit, you can tell that she’s 100% into it, she’s always been pushing for more sexiness in her image even back in Gfriend days (everyone fondly remembers her “Bloom” stage) and changing from Gfriend’s polite concepts to this was a choice. I can’t believe that she only ranked fifth in the ass results this year, it’s times like these when I realise that I don’t get enough credit for my disability advocacy as I clearly have so many visually impaired readers…
#2 – SUHYUN – AKMU
Meanwhile I’ve had to demote Suhyun because even though I still think she’s better than Eunha, she just won’t appear on screen at all these days. The video here is the only thing I’ve seen her do in ages, everything else I’ve found is just endless v-logs of her pottering around at home playing computer games and arguing with her brother over chores. I get that League Of Legends is addictive but come on, stop bumming around at home and get out more. Or at least do some cosplays or something, isn’t there a convention you can go to or something.
#3 – CHODAN – QWER
It’s tough to get people to support feminism these days what with supposedly woke fake-feminists everywhere jumping into bed with right-wing Christians in order to try and get wacky anti-woman censorship laws through the gate, but I hope that by stanning the One True Feminist in k-pop Chodan I can convert some of you into full blown flannel shirt and band t-shirt wearing first year gender studies students. I particularly enjoy studying Chodan’s gender, and will probably do a lot more of it. Note that she’s wearing a Beastie Boys shirt here and of course she likes The Beastie Boys. Did you know that Mike D from The Beastie Boys is married to Kathleen Hanna fron riot grrrl originators Bikini Kill? Chodan knows this but also knows that she would get too much hate for wearing a Bikini Kill tee so she’s trying to show support for Kathleen in a subtle way that doesn’t disturb her own band’s legions of incel fans. Her intelligence is another thing that I like about her.
#4 – UMJI – VIVIZ
Speaking of intelligence, I’m sure that you’ve all noticed Umji’s tremendous glow-up over the past few years, which in my opinion is just making totally obvious what I already knew anyway, and you all thought I was taking the piss but no. On top of looking better than your bias she’s also very smart, which I’ve written about extensively before. There’s a million videos online of her correctly guessing the number of lollies in a jar or the lean muscle mass percentage of Wonho’s abs etc etc but the real proof of her intelligence is that she’s in a group with Eunha and cut-price Rachel Kim at all.
#5 – JEONGYEON – TWICE
As the group’s key visual member, Jeongyeon still talks to the less attractive members of Twice, what an angel. No I’m not joking – anyone who thinks I am just hasn’t seen Jeongyeon lately. Her “This Is For” stages and Lollapalooza performance have had her looking amazing, it’s getting to the point where it’s really not even fair on the other members. No wonder the wardrobe department has been giving her mostly crap clothes for the past half a decade, they’re not clueless, they’re deliberately sabotaging her to level the playing field. Got to give those other eight girls a chance.
#6 – ADORA
Oh look it’s Adora being more attractive than 99.999% of the planet and singing some shit song I don’t care about. It would be great to have a proper Adora comeback one day. Just saying.
#7 – ZZONE/JEEWON – EX-CIGNATURE
Jeewon deserves all the success in the world but is probably not going to do all that well in the long term with her k-pop career almost entirely thanks to her confusing as fuck rebrand. I’m pretty sure that most Jeewon fans still don’t even know that she recently changed her name to Zimzalabim and started doing weird dark concept stuff that doesn’t suit her. This is like Chuu joining The Smiths, and while The Smiths badly need Chuu, Chuu really doesn’t need The Smiths at all. Still, I’m going to keep sticking Jeewon in these lists anyway just to annoyingly point out for a few more years how k-pop fans learned nothing from T-ara in 2012 and actually believed all those out-of-context edited viral videos where Jeewon supposedly “hated” her sexualisation when the reality was the complete opposite, you’re welcome.
#8 – CHUU
Did someone say Chuu? Oh yes, that was me, and I’ll be saying Chuu a lot more in the future too. You see Chuu, I see a combination of the best parts of every girlfriend I’ve ever been out with. Or maybe just the most hyperactive parts. And also Chuu. It’s a win/win.
#9 – LIZ – IVE
Langjährige Kpopalypse-Leser wissen, dass ich mich in den letzten Jahren auf dieser Seite für die Belange vieler Minderheiten eingesetzt habe, darunter Schwarze, LGBTQ+-Personen und ILLIT-Fans. Ich möchte jedoch nicht, dass normale K-Pop-Fans mich für einen guten Menschen halten. Es ist besser, wenn sie mich für ein intolerantes Arschloch halten, denn gehasst zu werden macht Spaß. Deshalb muss ich das Gleichgewicht im Universum wiederherstellen, indem ich meine deutsche Königin Liz von IVE unterstütze. Gemeinsam werden wir die Erde neu bevölkern – mit Katzen.
#10 – LEESEUL – ROCKIT GIRL
“Heavy rock band with hot female singer” is a formula that’s been done to death in the west and with good reason because it fucking works but Korea is kind of lagging behind here, in both doing it and appreciating it being done by others. Thats okay though, we can’t all be progressive, can we. Rockit Girl will have to pave the way.
#11 – MIN HEE JIN – NEWJEANS
Still by far the most attractive member of NewJeans, Min Hee Jin’s court battle with HYBE has been dragging on for ages which is excellent because it means we get to see her rocking lots and lots of sexy courtroom fashion. In my experience the most attractive person is always legally right, so let’s support her… but not too much. The ideal outcome is that there are many appeals and then at the very last minute when it’s just about to be wrapped up the whole thing gets thrown out of court and they have to start all over again right from the beginning, and she has to rotate through all those court outfits a second time.
#12 – YOYOMI
Isn’t it interesting how completely independent artists like Yoyomi tend to sexualise themselves a lot more than the artists on bigger labels. It’s almost as if women in the performing arts, when left to their own devices to choose their own creative direction, actually enjoy being seen as sexually attractive rather than putting up a massive wall of hyperconservative denial to please prudish idiots. Gosh.
#13 – YVES
Speaking of sexualisation, people who complain about the “Try Not To Have Gay Sex With Yves” games because they’re “sexualising Chuu and Yves” or whatever (as if the ChuuVes ship Loona fans all engage in doesn’t already do that), must be fucking joking. Have they seen what the game is like, and then looked at what other RPG Maker games are like, clearly not. They’re just bitter because they keep losing… but they shouldn’t be, after all who wouldn’t lose the game. The odds are stacked against us all.
#14 – DAHYUN – TWICE
I’ve actually run out of anecdotes about my failure to get anything happening with my first high school crush to use in the Dahyun parts of these posts, so I’ll just say that any girl who can twist her entire body around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist and then do a heart shape deserves a place in this list.
#15 – COCONA – XG
Cocona gets points for shaving her head which was obviously an attempt to more closely resemble Kpopalypse. Of course she didn’t manage to emulate my sexy immunocompromised alopecia style because there’s some very even looking regrowth but lucky her, what can I say. The fact is she fucking rocks the bald head anyway and it actually looks way better on her than when she had longer hair. Sinead O’Connor could never. Don’t fuck with the baldies.
#16 – IU
In 2010 did anyone think IU would make it this far, probably not. I’m putting her in this post because she looks like money and real estate these days and I like those things. Look at those tradwife dresses, she’s gone from selling innocence while banging Super Junior members to selling polite conformity while being Korea’s #1 uber k-pop landlord. I love a consistent queen. If I lived in her apartment block I’d get behind on my rent so she could get mad at me and run me over in her Mercedes.
#17 – JENNIE – BLACKPINK
I’m glad that Jennie has found fame and fortune after we stopped going out. I always thought she had better chilli tolerance than this though.
#18 – ALEXA
Alexa has still got it (and thank god she kept her name because she would have been fucked otherwise) but she’s marked down heavily here because her cover of “Free” from Kpop Demon Hunters doesn’t have the cat or the bird in it.
#19 – YOUHA
I don’t really care for the Borderlands cosplay but I’m just happy that Youha got this gig and she admittedly pulls it off quite well, in fact I can’t think of anyone who could have done it better, I just think it’s an ugly looking game. Youha looks amazing doing literally anything else apart from this. I guess I have to buy Borderlands 4 now… sigh. I’ll wait and get it on sale, by then maybe they’ve hammered all the bugs and stuttering out of it plus released some Youha-themed DLC.
#20 – RAINA – AFTER SCHOOL/ORANGE CARAMEL
Never forget that Raina was once the #1 bias in these lists but she had to go and sprinkle herself with too much Gangnam fairy dust and fuck it up. Searches for Raina on YouTube actually bring up Rania these days, that’s how far she’s vanished into the void. Mind you she’s still looking better to me than most of the people on everyone else’s lists, if she could get herself a song over 80 BPM this decade I might let her rise a few more spots just out of gratitude, who knows.
That’s all for the 2025 Kpopalypse bias list! Kpopalypse will return!
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