Notice me, Moonbyul

It’s time for KPOPALYPSE SPEED FANFICTION!

Let’s go!

NOTICE ME, MOONBYUL

1.

Hi, my name’s Amy, and I’ve had, like the biggest crush on Moonbyul. Just in case you don’t know, Moonbyul is from Mamamoo or should I say MAMAMOO because I have to capitalise it because they’re important, you know? People don’t understand how important this group is and that’s such a great shame, I try to explain it but people just don’t get it. I could talk to you all day about how great they are, their songs, their image and so on… but Moonbyul for me is what makes the group the most special. When she recently said on a live show that she had a girlfriend I swear that I nearly died. Could it be possible that she could like me one day? I mean, of course she’s way above my league, but just one day to be noticed by her… it would mean so much.

People at school don’t get it. I try to explain how Moonbyul is so special.

“Look at her, my sapphic heart is bleeding!”

I showed the screen to my friend Kate, she just stared at it.

“What’s the big deal? It’s just some girl in a group. You’re weird. Why do you even like this stuff? It’s not even real music.”

“I know a lot of k-pop is kind of fake, but these girls are different! They can all sing really well! Here, I’ll play you a high note…”

I started scanning through the video ti find the high-note climax but Kate just wandered off and started talking to some boy or whatever. She’s a bitch anyway. I guess nobody else will understand, but I hope at least Moonbyul does.

2.

I’m logged into “Moo-time”, Mamamoo’s new special video calling program. Each one of the four girls have their own Moo-time appearance, but I’m only really interested in Moonbyul because she’s my bias, you know? I mean I don’t hate on the other girls or anything so please don’t take it the wrong way they’re all like heaps talented but Moonbyul is just special to me, you know. So I’ve been waiting a while and this is taking heaps of time, they’re really behind schedule actually. Why is it taking so long? I mean they just have to start recording, right? It’s not like they have to do anything special. She could just turn up looking like any old how and it wouldn’t matter to me I mean it’s Moonbyul she can’t possibly ever look bad that would be impossible.

The screen flickers and THERE SHE IS. She’s just streaming from her phone, I can tell because the picture is wobbling about. She’s wearing a casual t-shirt and a green beanie, she looks amazing as always, but I like casual Moonbyul the best, it makes her seem more relatable when she doesn’t dress up, you know, like she could just be my best friend or my roommate or something.

“Annyeong-haseyo-Moonbyul-inmida!” she says, smiling.

I immediately begin typing. The way this works is that Moonbyul gets all the messages from everyone watching, but she only replies to certain ones. So my message has to be really good to be noticed, or maybe I just have to get lucky, I don’t know. I hope I can have a special connection to Moonbyul somehow.

“Hello Moonbyul! I love you so much! Please notice me!” I type.

“Hey it’s great to be here, you know I’m just relaxing, we’ve had a lot of activities lately. So it’s good to get some time to relax. Are you all taking care of yourselves?”

“Yes!” I type.

“I don’t have much time, so just put anything in that you want to tell me, and I’ll do my best! Wow, there sure is a lot of you! I’m so grateful for your support!”

How will I know if Moonbyul is actually responding to me instead of someone else? I have to think up things to say to her that will generate a specific response… or maybe I’ll just ask her to say my name or something so she knows that it’s me.

“I love your songs, you’re the best! Can you say to me ‘I love you, Amy’?” I type.

“So we’re going to be doing a ballad album next month. We’ll split the group into two halves to do it, so that means twice the songs, right? I’m looking forward to doing some slower material, it’s been a while.”

“Please say ‘I love you, Amy!’ Please notice me! Tell me your favourite colour!”

“So we’re in Seoul at the moment, but the schedules are in all different places. You’ll definitely be seeing us across the country. It’s good to get in touch with fans from all over Korea.”

“Moonbyul, please notice me! Say ‘hello Amy!’ I’m your best fan, I have all your photobooks! Tell me your favourite photobook!”

“Probably my favourite comeback ever is ‘Hip’, I really liked that one as a full group, as for the solo projects they’ve been so numerous… did you like ‘Cheese In The Trap’?”

I don’t know whether she was responding to me or not here? It’s kind of hard to tell. I have to write something to get noticed! Why isn’t she responding to me?

“I’m the cheese in your trap, Moonbyul! Please say ‘hello Amy’!”

“I’m glad that people like that song, it was cool to do something a bit rocking. I’d like to go back to that sound in the future, we’ll see what comes up.”

Monnbyul suddenly looks to the side, she seems distracted by something that’s off camera.

“Hey sorry Moomoos, I’m going to have to head off. It’s been good chatting. I love all of you so much, thank you for your support! We’re so grateful for the love that we receive from fans every day! Please continue to watch over us, won’t you?”

Just like that, the stream ends. How did she not even notice me? She replied to other people about what her group were doing, but all I wanted was just a simple “I love you” or even just “hello”? What was the problem with that? What did I do wrong? Doesn’t she care? Or maybe there were so many people chatting that she just couldn’t read? It doesn’t seem fair, after all I have all her photobooks like I said, I’ve got the Mamamoo lightstick shaped like a…. well, I don’t even know WHAT that is, but it’s Mamamoo so of course I like it, and I know all their songs, in the group and all the solo stuff too! I think I deserve at least a hello? How can she not notice me? It’s not fair. It’s really unfair, actually.

I need to do something about it.

3.

“Mum, can I have some money?”

“Money for what, dear?”

I’m having dinner with my mother, she likes to talk over the dinner table but I really don’t, so I’m going to use this opportunity to try and get some money out of her. I’m going to need some funds to make Moonbyul notice me, I think.

“There’s a special… project that I need to do at school, but we have to buy these special textbooks and they’re like really expensive!”

“But the tuition fees I pay already cover all of that?”

“Yeah, but this is something extra…”

“Honey, you don’t have to lie to me. I can tell when you’re not telling the truth. If you want money you can just say it, you know.”

Okay, now I feel really stupid. Why didn’t I just be honest? My mother opens her purse and hands me some notes… 50,000 won.

“Thank you mother, I’m so sorry! I might need a little more than this though, I’m really not sure…”

“Whatever is this for?” she asks.

“Never mind, this is enough – thank you!”

I’d better not push it. I think that if my mother knew what I had planned she might not approve or give me any money at all so I’ll just have to make do with this.

4.

I’m at the department store, looking at gifts. I know that if I give Moonbyul a nice gift, surely she’ll notice me? Maybe she can say something about it on her next stream. What do I give to my sapphic angel? I’m looking through the clothes racks, I know Moonbyul’s size and measurements so I know exactly what will fit her. I only have a limited amount of money to work with, what my mother gave me, plus the little I have saved up from working odd jobs. I settle on a black suit dress with green highlights, I think it will look good on her, it will bring out her best features. I think Moonbyul and the colour green really works well together for some reason. I take the outfit to the checkout.

“This is a nice outfit, a present?” the girl behind the checkout asks.

“Yes!” I reply. I mean it’s pretty obvious that it’s not for me because I don’t have Moonbyul’s shape at all, I mean I could never look that good there’s no way.

“I’m sure that she’ll be very happy with this. I’d love it if my boyfriend bought me something like this but he has no taste unfortunately. Oh well, what can you do? Would you like this gift-wrapped?”

“Yes please!” I giggle as she folds up the clothes. I know Moonbyul will be thrilled with this.

5.

I’m watching Moonbyul’s daily “Moo-time” stream.

“Annyeong-haseyo-Moonbyul-inmida!” she waves. I notice that she’s wearing similar clothes to last time. A white shirt with a beige v-neck jumper over the top, and a green beanie.

“Hi it’s Amy! Did you receive the clothes I gave you? Why aren’t you wearing them? Please say my name!”

“It’s great to hear from you all again! Thank you for checking in! I have studio tomorrow, they pushed the date forward! I’m really excited to show you my talents in the recording studio! We love recording!”

This is bullshit. She’s not wearing the clothes I sent, that she’s had heaps of time to receive, she would surely have them by now. She won’t even acknowledge that I sent them? Why? She doesn’t have to love me back but can’t she just acknowledge my love for her?

I need to do something bigger, something she can’t ignore.

6.

I need a lot of money, really quickly. My mother can’t just keep giving me money, she’s not that rich. I know who is rich though, there’s this bitch at my school, called Celine. She’s always wearing fancy clothes and showing off, she always has the latest phone as soon as it’s released and so on. Unfortunately she doesn’t like me much. I have to try and convince her to give me money, how can I do that?

I’m in the school hallway and she’s walking past, I guess now is the time.

“Hey Celine,” I say.

“Er, hi Amy. What is it?”

“Hey you know how you’re rich and stuff, right…”

Celine stops walking and stares at me.

“Are you fucking serious? You want money?”

“Well, just a bit of money.”

“How much?”

I start thinking… how much money am I going to need?

“Forget it, you’re not getting anything anyway. I don’t know why I’m even asking you that to be honest. Why would I give you money?”

“I’ll be super nice to you! I’ll be your best friend forever!”

“I don’t really want you as my best friend, Amy. That would actually be really annoying. Just go away now.”

Celine starts walking off, I guess there’s no way I can persuade her. I quickly grab the bag that’s on her shoulders and run off in the other direction. Maybe there’s some money in it.

“HEY!” Celine screams at me, chasing me.

I run quickly through the school corridor and out into the yard. I look back, I’m faster than Celine, she’s given up chasing me, I can run pretty quickly. I know I’m going to get in heaps of trouble for this but it’ll be worth if it Moonbyul notices me.

7.

“LED Truck Services, Jasmine speaking, how can I assist you today?”

“Hi, I need to hire a truck. How much is it to hire a truck for a day to show a message?”

“It’s 300,000 won per day.”

“That sounds great! I need a truck to go to the Rainbow…”

“…Bridge World building, got it.”

“You’ve sent trucks there before?”

“Every day, I swear. What’s your message?”

“I want it to say ‘Hello my name is Amy, please notice me on Moo-time’, thank you!”

“Are you sure that’s what you want? Once we lock it in there’s no going back.”

“I think so! Do you think it will be effective?”

“LED Truck Services makes no claim to the effectiveness of messages on protest trucks. We also claim no liability for reputational damages, legal claims, defamation…”

Jasmine starts reading off a whole legal spiel over the phone but I’ve tuned out, I don’t care about this. I just want Moonbyul to see my message. I just want her to notice me. As her biggest fan… I mean I’m sure I’m her biggest, there can’t be others bigger than me… I think I should at least get a shout-out? I love Moonbyul so much, I just want her to return some of that love, just a little. I don’t think it’s too much to ask?

8.

“Annyeong-haseyo-Moonbyul-inmida!”

Moonbyul is back for her daily Moo-time stream. She’s wearing a thick black coat, and is outdoors somewhere. She waves and smiles at the camera. She looks adorable as always, I just want to jump into the screen and be with her.

“Where am I? I’m at Jeju Island today! It’s cold here! But it’s refreshing to be out in the air! We’ve been doing recordings and it gets stuffy working in the studio with all the stale air in there. That’s one of the things they don’t tell you about recording, everything’s so insulated that no fresh air gets in to the recording rooms! And you have to be in there for hours!”

She’s still not wearing my clothes. The suit I bought her would be warn enough, she wouldn’t need that jacket. I was very careful to buy for the season. It’s really not good enough. As a fan don’t I deserve more respect than this?

“Moonbyul, please notice me! Why aren’t you wearing my suit? It’s Amy, please say hello! Did you see my truck?”

“It’s going well, we’ve already laid down the vocal beds, but we’re going to progress with more recording soon, there’s overdubs still to do, and lots to add. We do work quickly though! It doesn’t usually take longer than a week to get all the material for a mini album done, but we do have to work long hours. That’s why it’s important to take a break! I hope you’re all not overworking yourselves!”

This isn’t fair, she’s still ignoring me. After everything I did for her, how could she?

9.

“Amy, the principal called. I can’t believe that you robbed someone at school! What’s gotten into you lately?”

“I’m so sorry mother, please forgive me!”

“I’m starting to think that I don’t know my own daughter at all. You’ve become so strange lately. Can we talk about it?”

I start crying. I can’t tell my mother about my love for Moonbyul, she wouldn’t understand. I don’t know if she’s homophobic or not, we’ve never really had that kind of discussion as a family, and honestly I’d rather avoid it as it’s a bit scary to even have. But I think even if it was a male star, it wouldn’t be different. Or would it? I don’t know, I don’t want to risk it. My mother reaches out and holds me, I cry in her lap.

“Amy I know you’re going through a hard time. Just know you can always talk to me okay? You don’t have to keep things bottled up. But I do need to know what’s going on.”

“I’m sorry mother! I’ll repay back all the money! I promise! Just please don’t make me talk about it because it’s shameful!”

“You know I love you, Amy. I’m ready to talk about it when you are okay? Just be sure that you do pay that money back, and you need to apologise to the principal, and the other girl.”

“Yes, mother.”

10.

“Annyeong-haseyo-Moonbyul-inmida!”

I’m watching Moonbyul’s stream again. How do I get her attention? Throwing money at the problem doesn’t seem to help.

“Hi Moonbyul! I’m Amy, I’m your biggest fan! Please notice me! Please say that you love me! Or just please say hello! Or anything, really! I’m kind of desperate!”

“Recording is going great, thank you for asking! We’ve nearly wrapped up all the vocals, we’ll be done at the end of the day! I can’t wait to go back to Rainbow Bridge dorms tonight. I’ll be exhausted! I’ll sleep for an entire day, I think!”

She’s ignore me again, as usual. Why? What do I have to do? There has to be a way.

11.

I’m standing outside the Rainbow Bridge World building. I can’t buy my way into Moonbyul’s heart, but perhaps I can get her to notice me if I see her in person? It’s cold out here and she said she was coming to the building tonight. I’m not the only person out here waiting, there’s a few other people here as well, all girls about my own age. I approach one.

“Hey,” I say to one of the girls waiting.

“Hey there. You’d better stay away from Dongmyeong! He’s mine!”

“Who? I ask.

“Who? WHO? Only THE MOST RELEVANT k-pop singer of this generation! The sixth generation of k-pop, that started with Onewe!”

“Oh.”

“Don’t ‘oh’ me. You need to RESPECT Dongmyeong! He paved the way for all your oppars in k-pop rock groups! Say you respect him, NOW!”

She looks angry. Since we have to wait here a while I shouldn’t upset her.

“I’m sorry. I respect Dongmyeong.” I bow.

“That’s more like it. Stay away from my baby if you know what’s good for you.”

“Sure. I mean I’m just here for Moonbyul, so…”

“Tell HER to stay away from Dongmyeong too! I don’t trust that snake bitch!”

“Hey don’t you talk shit about Moonbyul, she’s my baby!”

The other girl shuts up. I look back at the building. Oh no, I can see a van pulling away from the front door. Was that Moonbyul and I just missed her? How will I even know? The van pulls up right to the front door so there’s barely even more than a couple metres that the idols have to walk… I guess I can’t really make her notice me in two metres of walking. I need to find a way to get into the building. I’ll make sure that Moonbyul notices me.

12.

How am I going to get inside the building? Looking at the front door, there’s a security guard right there, I don’t think he’s going to let me in because I guess I look like a fan. Maybe I can pretend to be a food delivery persona and bring some food in with me… but then idols don’t really eat much, do they, that might not work. I guess I might just have to break in.

I walk around to the side of the building and around the back, looking for an entrance. Everything looks secure, there’s nothing like a window I can pop open or anything like that. Around the back is a loading bay that’s shut. I’m not sure what loads in and out of here. Maybe I can wait for the loading bay to open and then just run in. That might work, because I’m pretty quick. I stand by the loading bay door and wait. It has to open eventually.

“Excuse me miss.”

I turn around, it’s a security guard.

“Oh, hi.”

“Please no loitering by the bays. Please move along.”

“Oh, I can’t stand here?”

“No, I’m sorry miss.”

Just then another security guard appears from a fire door next to the loading bay. He looks at us both. Quickly, before the door can close, I run through it into the fire exit corridor.

“HEY COME BACK HERE!” I hear the guard yelling.

He looks kind of slightly overweight and old, I’m pretty sure he can’t catch me. I meet some stairs and start jogging up the stairs, two steps at a time. I’m excited from adrenaline, I don’t stop until about a dozen flights up. I’m pretty sure those guards won’t have the speed to catch up. I open the door at the top of one flight of stairs that has the number 6 written on it, I guess that’s the sixth floor. This building is large but I know that if I search long enough, I can find Moonbyul and make her notice me. She’s in here somewhere, it’s just a matter of time and avoiding the guards, who will definitely be searching for me.

I enter into a long hallway, with brown carpet and white unmarked doors along both walls. How am I supposed to know what anything is? I guess I’ll just start opening random doors. I open the nearest door on my right side. It’s just a small closet type area with nothing in it at all. I move to the next door and open that. A small room, like a classroom size, but again nothing is in here at all, just plain white walls and brown carpet. Why is there nothing here? Wouldn’t there be the girls or at least staff? I hear a door open behind me, it’s the guard.

“Come back here, miss!”

I quickly run down the corridor. The path takes a right turn, then a left turn, and then ends with a fire escape door. I open the door, and enter into another stairwell. I’m going to need to move more quickly and make some twists and turns so I can lose this guard, I can hear him behind me. I use the side-rail to slide quickly down a few flights of stairs and enter a room with a number 4 on it. Let’s try this floor.

The door opens into a gym area. Nobody is here, but there’s evidence that people might be around; there’s a couple gym bags on the floor, and a small pile of clothes. Maybe I’m getting warmer. I have to keep moving or I’ll be caught. I run across the gym floor, through a doorway and down a hall. Again, there’s a bunch of unmarked doors here, I guess I’ll just try as many of them as I can until I can hear the guard catching up.

I open a random door. Inside is a small office, with a couple of computers on desks, some potted plants, and a window to outside. Nobody is here. I quickly close it and try another door, it’s a dressing room. There’s someone here, sitting at a mirror cabinet, a lady. It’s not Moonbyul, I don’t recognise her.

“Hello?” the lady says.

“Hi… I’m Amy! Have you seen Moonbyul?”

“Oh, Mamamoo are on the second floor, hey why do you want…”

“Thanks!” I yell as I run back out of the room, to the end of the corridor and slide down some more stairs until I reach a big fire door with the number 2 on it. This is my floor.

I open the door, and I’m in another long corridor with brown carpet and white walls. I guess it’s time to open random doors. I open the first door that I see, it’s a bathroom. Nobody is in here. I’d better keep searching, she has to be here somewhere. I go to turn and exit the bathroom, when the door opens in my face, hitting me on the head and knocking me back. A girl rushes into the bathroom and then straight into a toilet cubicle and shuts the door. I take a quick glance at her before the door shuts…. it’s her! It’s Moonbyul!

“Excuse me! I’m sorry I just really need to go!” Moonbyul says.

“Hi Moonbyul, I’m Amy!” I shout.

“Oh, hi Amy, you okay? I didn’t hit you too hard did I?”

“I’m fine! Moonbyul, I love you!”

“What?”

“I’m Amy your biggest fan! I’ve got all your music! I bought you that suit, remember?”

“Sorry, what?”

“I’m Amy!”

“Er… okay?”

“You don’t know me? I love you! I’ve been following you forever! Please notice me!”

I hear Moonbyul mutter an “oh my god” under her breath, but no other response.

“I love you Moonbyul!”

“Can you fans just… I don’t know, relax or something?”

“I’m with you! How can I relax?”

Silence for a while. Then I hear Moonbyul talking more quietly.

“Hi, yeah… I’ve got a situation here. Toilets, second floor, come quickly, thanks.”

“You’re not getting them to take me away! I’m your biggest fan! I love you! That’s not how you treat your fans, Moonbyul!”

“Oh my god, girl, can I take a shit in peace? I can’t fucking do anything without being hounded by you people! I’m not that special, you know!”

“Yes you are, you’re my sapphic dream girl! You’re my queen!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake… I say one thing on stage one time and… man, fuck this idol shit. When are we going to mature enough as a group to get proper fans. I should have just gone fucking art-wank-core like that Lim Kim chick…”

Suddenly I feel a force lift up my shoulders and drag me out of the toilets.

“You’re coming with us, miss.”

It’s the guard, I’ve been found.

“I LOVE YOU MOONBYUL!” I scream as they drag me down the hall.

“GO FUCK YOURSELF!” I hear Moonbyul screaming from inside the bathroom. The words hurt, but I don’t blame her. I know this is probably annoying for her. Still, she’s my sapphic queen.

13.

“How are you coping these days, Amy? It’s been a while.”

My mother’s visiting. It’s been a couple weeks since I was first admitted. I was pretty upset after Moonbyul rejected me so harshly in the RBW building, so I cut myself a bit. Not too deeply, I wasn’t trying to kill mylse,f I was just upset, you know? So they put me in this place for a while. It’s not so bad here, except nobody knows Mamamoo for some reason.

“Yeah I’m okay.”

“Do you think you’ll be ready to come out soon?”

“I miss Moonbyul, I really do. Why did she reject me, after all that I did for her?”

A doctor approaches my mother. She turns to him.

“How is she?”

“She’s too far gone. Do what you need to do. I’m sure her organs will be more useful inside a more sensible person.”

They nod and leave the room.

Moonbyul, I’ll love you forever. My sapphic queen.