Kpopalypse 2023 survey bonus round – help Kpopalypse turn twenty and become prettier!

Thanks to everyone who has filled out the Kpopalypse 2023 survey of caonima action so far! Clever readers may have noticed that the survey was one question shorter than usual. The reason for this is because I was saving the biggest question for a separate post, which is this one – read on and help determine site design choices so Kpopalypse can turn twenty and become prettier!

It’s been a while since Kpopalypse.com has had a facelift, the current design of the site is now seven years old. However while I’m not into change just for change’s sake, it occurs to me that web design has moved on a little bit from when I started this site, and the modern reader may expect a little bit more from their caonima action. Should this site turn twenty and become prettier? What do you think? If so, what design should I choose?

At the moment I’m running with a WordPress theme called Adelle.

This theme has been good to me for the last seven years, but it does look a little bit dated. Is it time for an upgrade? Maybe, but I don’t want to upgrade to anything that doesn’t meet required standards. Here’s the things that I really want out of a new Kpopalypse.com layout:

• Pretty – never mind the objectification survey results, the site should make readers want to fap just from the design choices alone
• Simple – I’m not keen on those weird websites with everything popping up and zinging in and out, you know the ones
• Clear – it should be pretty obvious how to get around, even for people drunk/high which is a fair percentage of readership
• Has a sidebar – a sidebar is an important part of Kpopalypse lore and must be retained (this limits modernization to some degree)
• Cheap – I am too poor even to save for a Twice concert so themes which cost money are a definite no-no
• Gay – people should look at the site and say “TikTok was right, Kpopalypse is definitely a 30 year old gay twink”

On top of this, the redesign has to be compatible with the existing non-block-editor framework. This rules out a lot of the very modern designs, which is probably a good thing as they would be a headache.

Below are all the possible theme candidates that I found, that meet most/all of the criteria specified. Ignore the blue pencil icons on all of these images, those don’t appear in the final product, also notice there are some placeholder images in some designs. Keep in mind that these themes are customisable but only to a certain extent, I’ll probably be able to change background colours etc and maybe fonts to a degree but most other elements are tied to the theme and probably can’t be changed radically. Also note that these images are not exactly to scale, and have been darkened just slightly for clarity (as we’re seeing a “site within a site” which could get confusing otherwise).

 

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BUTTON 2

Front page

Post

• Pretty – yes definitely, unsure if I can have a banner image at the top though
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – I definitely feel the homosexual vibes from this theme

 

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COLINEAR

Front page

Post

• Pretty – not bad but some of the sidebar text is a bit squished, and it’s a bit boring maybe? Love the carrots placeholder though
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – not significantly different to what I already have, since people currently think I’m a twink I guess that means it’s gay enough

 

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DARA

Front page

Post

• Pretty – not bad at all, similar to what I have though
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – as a professional 30 year old twink I feel like it lacks a certain LGBT something

 

 

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FRANKLIN

Front page

Post

 

• Pretty – a little bit unexciting, I don’t like what this theme does to the sidebar, pretty clean apart from this
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – as a professional 30 year old twink I feel like it lacks a certain LGBT something

 

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INDEPENDENT PUBLISHER 2

Front page

Post

• Pretty – not bad at all, no banner image but generally pretty classy
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – not sure about some of the fonts, but generally feels gay enough

 

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INTERGALACTIC 2

Front page

Post

 

• Pretty – very sexy and modern as shit (note it’s a very horizontal design and doesn’t quite fit in this post, had to crop a little)
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes but it’s hidden behind a button press, which I don’t like
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – possibly the gayest thing I’ve ever seen

 

 

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LOVECRAFT

Front page

Post

• Pretty – kind of stylish, I like the ‘panel’ look on the front page, not wild about the heading font though, can I change it I wonder
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – those placeholder mountains are pretty jizzworthy but I’d hope I can change that image out

 

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PENSCRATCH 2

Front page

Post

• Pretty – yes, this is similar to Button 2 but a bit less fancy
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – I think Button 2 beats it for gayness

 

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ROWLING

Front page

Post

• Pretty – I like the modern look, I’m not sure if I can recenter my sidebar widgets or not, the left-justified look is a bit odd, and I don’t like how the header image is doubled up in the actual individual post
• Simple – yes
• Clear – yes
• Has a sidebar – yes
• Cheap – yes
• Gay – hard to maintain my gay image with the ‘your mum’ tag taking up too prominent a spot

 

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Please have your say on the themes in the survey box below! If the survey box doesn’t appear, please click on the image of Velvet and a capybara at the top of this post to open the survey as a separate webpage!