Kpopalypse’s music theory class for dumbass k-pop fans: part 18 – auditions

It’s Kpopalypse back with another episode of the music theory series! This one is all about auditions!

So why is the topic of auditions considered to be music theory? Because music theory is, ultimately, all about the practical world of music making, and auditions are definitely part of that. If you’re a musician who wants to do more than jam in your bedroom and make videos, you’re probably going to be faced with having to do an audition for other people, somewhere, at some stage. Or, on the flip side, you might be starting a project of your own and may be in a position to audition others. Sometimes you might get lucky and find cool people in your circle of friends, but then sometimes you might not have appropriately skilled friends and/or need the services of someone with very specific skills. This post is going to cover both aspects: what to do as a performer wanting to work with someone else, and the considerations you need to make as someone doing recruitment via auditions.

COMPATIBLE GOALS

There’s no right or wrong answers in terms of goals, because personal goals are personal. However it’s important that personal goals and the project’s goals have some alignment. The first thing you want to do when signing up for an audition, is think about where the project might go. What’s the ultimate aim of the project? What would be the best-case ‘success’ scenario? Make sure that you are willing to do this and prepare appropriately. There’s no point even auditioning for a group that wants to tour the world if you’re not willing to tour the world or even the city next to yours because you don’t like the idea of life on the road. On the other hand if the project only has a very limited scope such as playing at church every Sunday, but your own personal goals are bigger, that’s also an incompatibility. While there’s probably no harm in joining the not-very-ambitious group, think of the opportunity cost – you could be devoting those resources to another group who share your personal goals of taking your music further.

Also consider – do the people you’re auditioning for want you to also put your own creativity into the role? Or is it more a case of “here’s the music, please just play/sing what we tell you to”? In a Korean pop style scenario, it’s almost definitely going to be the second one, as it will often also be for joining an established rock group playing an existing repertoire of known songs. Generally if it’s a role where creativity is required, audition promotional material will say so, and even if it doesn’t you can usually deduce it just by the tone of this material. If the advert seems to indicate that the group’s aesthetic is already fully-formed, then that means there’s probably someone in the group already operating as a creative director and they’re not looking at someone else to contribute in this kind of way. So consider this when applying – if it’s a group that just wants you to “turn up and do your part”, will you be happy with that or will it become frustrating to not be allowed to explore your creativity? On the flip side, if the group allow you leeway in the creative realm, will you enjoy this, or will the expectation to create content for the entire group generate too much pressure?

Other things to think about include image and performance requirements. Do you have to wear costumes or makeup? Do you have to adhere to a certain type of presentation? What sort of audiences will you be performing for? Consider all of these things before applying. Signing up to the wrong type of project is just wasting everybody’s time, especially your own.

If you’re someone holding an audition it’s important that you communicate all requirements and expectations ahead of time. There’s no point pulling the wool over someone’s eyes – make sure people know what they’re signing up for, or it’s going to cause problems down the track. If you think that the role you’re advertising might turn away a lot of its people due to its very nature, then that’s even more reason to be as honest and upfront about it as possible. The more information you can give to applicants, the more chance that the right candidate will step up. This especially includes long-term goals of the project. If your ideal endgame is to travel the world then you want to attract people who also want this. Also if you’re auditioning people for a group that has elements that might be divisive or turn off potential candidates, such as an ‘adult concept’, just say exactly that, don’t mince words or sugarcoat it.

The problem with Stellar’s trajectory was never the concepts themselves, it was the fact that the girls were being bullshitted to. If they had actually signed up knowingly for what they ended up doing, there wouldn’t have been a problem. So don’t be that person who lures someone in only to then turn the tables down the track. Create a clear vision that’s communicated ahead of time and stick to it, or if you’re going to change it, at least make sure people are on board with the possibility of that ahead of time.

PREPARATION

Once you’ve decided that you definitely want to go for it, the next step is to prepare. If it’s a group with an already established repertoire, learn as much of it as you can ahead of time. If you’re really lucky they’ll tell you exactly what to practice, but even if so, learn a few other things anyway – that sort of effort often goes down well, it shows that you care. If you don’t have any clue what you’re going to be asked to do, then just try to make an educated guess and practice being good at what you do generally within whatever requirements you think will apply. In any event, being highly prepared will help you a lot with nerves and performance anxiety. Also prepare some shit just in case you might be put ‘on the spot’, because you might.

It’s worth also making a realistic assessment of your abilities before you even go. Are you good enough for the task at hand? The best way to ascertain this is to take some video of yourself doing what you do, and put it up somewhere where a bunch of online strangers can see it and are under no pressure to be anything other than brutally honest. DON’T rely on your friends and family to be honest about your abilities – they will not!

Some of the crazily terrible auditions on shows like X Factor and others seem too bad to be true – surely these are just TV show plants, actors who are paid by the show handsomely and put in there to suck, just for our televisual entertainment, right? Sadly, no! The shit auditions are no doubt heavily edited so that only the most cringe moments stand out, but they are also actually real people who really thought they were good. The reason why they thought they were good is because the only feedback they ever received was from family, lovers and friends, who secretly knew it was bad but didn’t want to cause friction by relaying the honest truth. When Simon Cowell or whoever the designated “asshole judge” is (there’s always one) tells them that they suck, that’s often the first time anyone has ever told them that. You can see the looks on their faces – they genuinely can’t believe it. You would be amazed how common it is for people to overestimate their abilities for this reason. So – get truly impartial feedback, whenever you can.

For people holding auditions, it’s important to test the abilities of the applicants carefully and realistically. You need to know that they are capable of performing the task at hand, so there’s no point going easy. Unless the role specifically requires on-the-spot improvisation, it’s best to be upfront about what they’ll be tested on ahead of time, this way you can also assess their ability to come prepared for the task. It’s also good to not have to do this alone – anyone else invested in the project (other group members are an obvious choice), get them on board with the audition process too if you can. A second set of eyes and ears is often valuable to determine things that you may not have noticed.

LOOKING THE PART

Consider what to wear. This applies more for some things than it does for others. Generally speaking:

• K-pop – something that looks good and that you can dance in without twisting an ankle
• Pop singer – like a million dollars in general
• Rock singer – like a million dollars, but the hipster version
• Classical or jazz – formal wear or neat casual
• Rock or pop instrumentalist – pretty much anything
• Metal – pretty much anything, but black
• Electronica, DJing, rap etc – nobody cares, I mean, have you seen how these people dress…

Some auditions will have specific visual requirements so adhere to them if so, but most of the time unless you’re a dancer or a frontperson you’re not being evaluated heavily on your dress sense or any visual criteria in general. Actors and actresses tend to be always attractive, but there are a lot of ugly people in groups. I should know, I’ve been in groups for decades! But if you’re auditioning in a visual-centric style, your looks will definitely be scrutinised – heavily… and often by scumbags.

On the other hand if you’re the one holding an audition, consider how much appearance will factor into the role you’re trying to fill. It’s important to communicate any visual requirement ahead of time, even if you don’t require it in the audition itself, but might require it later during an actual performance. Audiences do tend to “listen with their eyes” so it’s true that visual aspects carry some considerable weight, but it’s also true that depending on the role, visuals may or may not matter. In a dance-pop group visuals may matter a lot, but in a backing band it may matter less, and in an orchestra it really doesn’t matter what someone in the second row of violas looks like as long as they can wear something nice and blend in. Also, makeup and styling can achieve a lot – to an extent, looking the part can be applied after the fact. So try not to box yourself into only thinking about people who fit a certain mold because sometimes people can surprise you in a good way.

THE PROCESS

A great way to improve your chances of succeeding at an audition is to turn up to an audition. 100% of people who don’t turn up at auditions fail them, so make sure you are there on time. A little bit early is thoughtful and looks good, so research how to get there and don’t rely blindly on GPS, which has been responsible for many a person not showing up to auditions on time.

Some types of auditions such as those for big companies may require you to do things like line up in a queue with lots of other hopefuls, sign documentation etc, so turning up early is a good way to be prepared for this sort of thing and get it out of the way. Watch out for sneaky k-pop companies and TV shows who will get you to sign binding contracts at this early stage! Of course you generally have no negotiating power in this scenario, it’s either “take it or leave it” just like your favourite computer game’s EULA, but it’s worth taking the time to peruse documentation so you’re familiar with what nasties are in there and make an informed decision about whether it’s something you want to be part of. Here’s a good video that goes through some typical processes for bigger k-pop auditions in particular.

As someone holding an audition you should expect timeliness and automatically disqualify anyone who can’t follow the process. If someone can’t turn up on time to an important audition, they’ll probably only be even worse when it comes to rehearsals and live performances. Don’t let people’s casual attitude about “rock and roll time” sway you – successful musical groups are run like a business, so performers need to treat attendance as such!

NERVES

Being nervous or anxious is completely normal during an audition, and this will be expected by whoever is auditioning you (if they have any brains, and if they don’t, do you really want to work with them?), so don’t worry about it too much. Even if you’re fully prepared and know everything you need to know back to front, you may still be nervous. Fortunately there is alcohol and drugs as well as beta-blockers and SSRIs mindfulness and meditation exercises plus healthy diet and exercise to get you through such scenarios. If that doesn’t work you could always imagine the people auditioning you naked or something, I’ve heard from certain k-pop group members that this works well, just try not to get so into it that it distracts you from doing the music thing.

Strangely, in my observations nerves doesn’t tend to actually correlate that well to actual performance quality. In my personal case, I don’t tend to get nervous if I know what I’m doing, but I’ve witnessed many people who struggle massively with nerves and often those people are very, very good performers who would seem to have very little objective reason to be worried about their performance aptitude. This makes me think that nerves may have more to do with the need for approval than competence at the task at hand. While practising the ass off whatever you’re going to be performing will certainly help matters in any case, cultivating an attitude of not giving so many fucks will probably be just as helpful for combating nerves specifically. While you shouldn’t give no fucks (after all, you do want to care enough about what you’re doing to do a good job and pass the audition), having a que sera sera attitude is wise.

Likewise, as someone running an audition, know that the people who turn up to your audition will probably be absolutely shitting themselves. This is normal and isn’t a bad sign, it means that they actually give a fuck. There’s no reason to be too concerned about it, unless the anxiety is so crippling that they literally can’t perform at all, in which case it might become an issue. You would be amazed how many seasoned professional performers get extremely nervous, so don’t use it as a measuring stick if it’s not affecting the actual performance, there are far more important attributes to consider. If someone is just fucking up massively due to nerves, it can help to just give them a moment to calm down, maybe try to do the thing again etc. Keep in mind that some people are great on stage but specifically fall to pieces in an examination style scenario.

THE PERSONAL ELEMENT

A very important thing to do, on both sides of the audition process, is examine who you are working with and whether the combination would be a good personality fit. There’s no right answer for what works and what doesn’t, it will depend on the combination of personalities involved, and what works for one person may not work for others. But there are also some universal red flags you should consider, on either side of the fence:

• Massive egos. Be on the lookout for these. People who trumpet their prior achievements and ‘professional’ status loudly, or feel the need to tell you that they’re an expert in everything, are usually suspicious and probably padding their music industry resumes heavily. Lions don’t need to tell you that they’re lions.
• On the other hand, huge amounts of self-deprecation is not a good look either. As a performer, don’t set expectations low or harshly criticise yourself.
• Substance abuse. While drugs and alcohol aren’t uncommon in the world of music, if someone is fucked up, or getting fucked up, during the audition process, that’s not a good sign.
• Extreme disagreeability, arguing and/or inability to adapt. If someone isn’t willing to be a little flexible about how they approach something like an audition process, then chances are that working with them later on will be even more difficult and restrictive.

Keep in mind that if everything works out in audition, you’re going to have to tolerate the other person possibly for very large stretches of time, so make sure it’s someone that you can actually handle being trapped in the same room or vehicle with for hours on end.

As the above video demonstrates, personality fit is a key component of being successful in an audition, it’s certainly as important as technical ability, diligence, or any other factors. All of the people in the above video could play their instruments well and met all technical criteria, but what got Fami over the line was her manner and vibe – she just ‘clicked’ better with the other girls. If there’s a wide field of applicants there’s a good chance that the top ones will all be fairly evenly matched in terms of ability, so factors like this become incredibly important.

AFTER THE AUDITION

So you’ve just done the audition, as a performer it’s fine and not unreasonable to ask when you can expect to hear a result. Know that some auditions have a several-stage process so make sure you’re clear on what the next steps are if so. As an auditioner, it’s also polite not to leave people hanging too long and let them know what the process is. However also give yourself time to consider what you need to consider who the best candidate should be. If you’re using a panel, give everyone there time to discuss and share opinions.

Then, hopefully you can make great music together! Or not, as the case may be! The Kpopalypse music theory series will return!