Monday, 9 March 2026

Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 9/3/2026

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

“Park Bom drugs something Dara something something”. Sorry I don’t care. Click Bommie to find out the bigger news this week that so far most of your favourite k-pop “news” sites aren’t talking about…

H1-KEY – To. My First Love

H1-key are back saving k-pop once again, bringing back the Christian horse girl music that drew so many people to the style over the last decade but which has been largely absent from the 2020s for no good reason. It’s not the best song in this style that I’ve heard ever, but it might be the best one this decade, or at least very close to it. Get rid of the stupid AI floaties in the video and it would also be visually perfect.

Rolling Quartz, Yoon Ilsang – Red Hot

Rolling Quartz take a stab at something grunge-ish (that recalls Nirvana’s “Lithium” in structure) and they actually do a pretty good job of getting the right guitar tone and general instrumental feel. However the melody and harmony is too blues-based to be interesting (they definitely didn’t co-opt any of Kurt Cobain’s Pixies-influenced songwriting smarts, a pity) and the singer’s vocal delivery is all wrong for this style. Nice try.

EVERGLOW – Code

Everglow made it safely back from Russia and they must have had a round table meeting with Putin because they’re now threatening to destabilise western democracies with below-average music which is nothing like the sounds that initially made them popular. It might be time to enact sanctions.

MADEIN – Pung!

Nice enough but just kind of nothingish and insignificant, like those AI-generated colour-splotches, or their CEO’s press statements.

GIRLSET – Tweak

It’s pretty easy to see why Katseye have had some success while VCHA/Girlset have always struggled. One group is taking risks, one is playing it super safe. I think JYP needs to dump the bible sermons and get a bit unholy on our asses if Girlset are going to actually get anywhere.

X:IN – Who Dat

At first I thought that this song was a tribute to Julie’s birthday party, and after hearing all of it, I’m still thinking that maybe it might be. It’s definitely not as awful as it could have been but why would anyone even listen to this when actual hip-hop exists.

WJSN – Mirror

The usual “for the fans” poop, which is obvious from the thumbnail. You can always tell it’s some crap when they try to make recording studio sessions look actually interesting like a place where performers want to be.

Kickflip – Twenty

I actually caught the YouTube premiere of this one. They’re always worth attending if possible just so you can say your piece in the live chat where the One True Fans will see it.

Of course a lot of people just go and type stuff like “flop” to troll but I think it’s just better to be honest.

Someone has to set an example that it’s okay to just have a basic opinion.

NCT JNJM – Wind Up

K-pop groups still talking about “east side” and “west side” in 2026. It’s never going to get any better, folks. In 2088 Julie’s granddaughter is going to have a birthday party and she will be wearing ten baseball caps at once and bugging her eyes out like Flavor Flav while eating watermelon. You might as well learn to love it because it’s not going anywhere.

Big Ocean – One Man Army

As usual the group full of deaf people have a song which is not significantly worse than that of any of the non-deaf people in k-pop. You can make up your own mind what that says about k-pop in 2026.

TUNEXX – I’m Alive

The best thing about this song is that after the very first note plays, theres’a a reasonable gap before the second notes plays, giving you the listener ample time to reconsider your life choices and stop watching.

NoeurA – Pop It Like

Nothing much here of interest except the usual slow boy-pop nonsense and the usual AI-slop video that the fans will scream “it’s not AI” about as if any k-pop company has the CGI budget to create all those assets within a typical boy-pop release schedule. Come on kids, you’re supposed to be smarter than this.

V01D – Rockrock

They had to call the song “Rock Rock” because Korean idol rock is so pussified and weak that they have to double up on the amount of rock just to make it sound like a normal rock song.

Younha – Sub Character

Younha in rock mode is decent, but don’t die of shock, I actually think her ballad with RM is better than this.

Younha – Seasonal Crime

This other song is boring. At 1:00 Younha does an interesting thing where she plays about nine notes but we only hear five, that’s a pretty good trick she must be very talented.

Younha – Karma

Wow Younha is busy this week. I guess this is meant to be the big feature and it’s appropriately upbeat but again it’s just not a great song.

n.SSign – Feelin’ Good

Big, brassy and boring. People want me to write longer reviews but how about your favourite groups give me something to write about?

NOWZ feat. YRD Leo – Ammo

“Now Z” seems like a great idea, zzzzzz….

SUCTION – Still Hurt

There are still groups out there doing Orange Caramel style fun visuals, they just don’t have good songs, that’s all.

SIKKOO – Kinda Guilty

What is this poop. The YouTube comments are interesting, I’m getting the feeling this guy isn’t liked very much? You always know when Koreans don’t like someone because they laugh a lot in comments sections ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ hate seems to bring them joy, bless their cotton socks. I’m pretty certain that this is Busker Busker’s fault somehow.

Solar x Accusefive – There’s Always a Planet That Belongs to You (Your Own Star)

If I were some kid and some singer abducted me to go and see them rehearse in a tent with signs saying “free hugs” I think I’d run and try to find a responsible adult to take me away from there.

Eric Nam – How The Fire Started

Actually… quite good? A good song really can come from anywhere. Also, I’m pretty sure this video will match the interests of quite a few of my readers.

Onew – Tough Love

This song must be about the “tough love” he administers in clubs in Seoul. Anyway, song is poop, next.

Omega Sapien – Hands Up in the Club

I’m not sure what’s going on but that thumbnail was a choice.

WOODZ – Human Extinction

Wow, Woodz has a good song this week too. We really are living in opposite land, I think H1-Key doing Christian horse girl music this week has upset the entire balance of our universe. Go Woodz, Kpopalypse is cheering for you. Release some more songs and make the most of this rift in the space-time continuum quickly before things return to normal.

Kim Sungkyu – When I think about you

When you think about Infinite members, you think about better songs than this.

B.I. feat. Coogie, Gray – Buzzin

Oh my god attack of the Autotunes. Also this just in: Gray hasn’t quit music yet. I wonder if he’ll turn in a banger one day. Probably not… but then if this week teaches me anything, it’s that you never know.

Shin Wonho – Warzone

No not that Wonho, this guy was from Cross Gene apparently, and the song isn’t bad but I don’t know, something’s missing here. Maybe it’s the lack of pecs. Maybe I really am that superficial. Oh well – so are you, probably.

Jay Chang – Feel

I feel like not talking about this song. Let’s move on.

Lim Sejun – Pray For God

Okay so at 0:16, because you folks still can’t tell apparently, the microphone is pointed straight up at the ceiling. He has his fingers over the part that he should be actually singing into. You’re welcome.

Minseo – Deep Dawn

Hey here’s another good song. I like it for much the same reasons that I like Eyedi’s “&New“. Minseo’s song doesn’t feature the same deliberately lo-fi production dicking-around, but they’re both good songs at their core.

Dbo – Real Purpose

His real purpose is to ride a HORSE.

Loopy feat. Foggyatthebottom – Still Lov3

Imagine posing out with sports cars and thinking that makes you look like anything other than a fuckhead. People like this actually exist. Society is in trouble.

Xooos – Pop Pop

Who does she have to shoot her own video in a big ass house on her own? Doesn’t she have any friends to hold the camera? She should reach out to Kpopalypse and I’ll introduce her to all my readers. We can be friends, then for the next video we can all go over to her house and have a party and make her videos look less empty.

DeVita – Tricycle

I guess it’s different but I’m not exactly into this. Anyway that’s enough songs for roundup I’ve punished you all enough.

Milli – One Punch

For this week’s non-Korean music feature I just thought I’d check in on how Thai rapper Milli is going lately. Better than your bias, as it happens.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

Winter got scammed by ChatGPT

Since Korea love aespa and they love AI slop, perhaps Winter speaking out about how ChatGPT fucked her up when trying to purchase a phone case will be the kick in the pants that Korea needs as a culture to realise that not a single person alive wants AI slop in their lives in any sort of creative realm.

Wonyoung Wonyoungs for 4 minutes straight

How many products can IVE’s endorsement queen Wonyoung advertise in four minutes? The answer is, all of them. I bet she could afford the Elon Musk tier on my ko-fi with all that sponsorship money coming in. Mind you watching this is a bit of an endurance test, there’s only so much Wonyounging my brain can receive within a fixed timeframe.

Girls’ Generation – Way To Go

Might as well put the original Christian horse girls here, which just shows how close H1-key got to the mark this week. In fact I’d say that H1-key song is better than this due to far better songwriting and production, Girls’ Generation have super-distant drums and that horrible Rocktek-pedal guitar tone which lets an otherwise reasonably good song down a bit. Speaking of which my new Christian horse girl k-pop book which is really very nice really apart from all the horrible parts is now available for pre-order, you could order it from Amazon or Kobo here if you wanted, but you probably shouldn’t read it because it will likely just upset you and give you trauma and make you question how you even got to this point in your life where you’re reading some extremely messed up book from some random asshole who runs a cunty k-pop website, hey at least I’m honest you’re welcome.


That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!



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