Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 6/10/2025
It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
NMIXX – Spinnin’ On It
You know, if I posted in my roundups “for the next comeback NMIXX should all have a mudfight with light blue mud” that’d go onto TikTok and there’s be 100 morons who can’t read in the comments going “eww gross, old creepy gooner” and cancelling me for the 2398th time etc… but when their actual agency literally does it everyone gives them a free pass. Anyway, let’s not think about it too much lest we might actually have an epiphany of some sort about the industry, just know that the song here is as overcooked and messy as whatever that blue shit is on their faces.
I-dle – Where Do We Go
If I ever order seafood at a restaurant and my meal takes an hour to come to the table, I’ll know it’s because Miyeon was taking that few extra seconds to vacantly smile at each fish while she sorts it and all that extra time added up and caused a supply-chain issue.
I-dle – Invincible
I find it hilarious that a Beyblade is just a rebranded top, and that “fighting” with Beyblades is just spinning tops and waiting to see which one falls first. Somehow they’ve rebranded an old children’s game into something “cool” by changing the language and terminology, giving it new graphic design, and having a k-pop girl group write cringeworthy lyrics like “this is my beast mode” and “never be afraid, this is our chance”. What’s worst of all is that I have to admit the song isn’t bad, so I can’t even criticise this all that much. Marketing genius, really.
Eunha – Milky Way
All the people who kept saying to me months ago “Eunha has a new song out and I know it doesn’t have a video yet but I know you edge to Eunha fancams on days ending in ‘y’ so can you pls pls pls pls review this live stage with dogshit quality audio for roundup pretty pls” – this is why I waited. I knew a video like this was coming. The song’s rhythm harks back to Girlfriend days (and no I don’t mean Gfriend I mean Girlfriend) but I can’t help but feel like the rhythmic feel and the melody don’t really match. It’s still not bad, but give this long, sustained, drifty type of melodic line to Aseul and she could have done something much better with it.
Izna – Mamma Mia
A real mixed bag, which actually shoots itself in the foot by trying to be too normal. The wacky, out-there dancehall-inspired parts of the song are cool and the songwriters should have really leaned into that and chopped in some Brazilian funk insanity or something similar rather than having the girls play it super safe by doing soft pre-choruses and singing half their lines.
S.Coups x Mingyu feat. Lay Banks – 5,4,3 (Pretty Woman)
A catastrophically bad reinterpolation of the Roy Orbison song, that really didn’t need to exist. It wasn’t necessary to fail so hard when better versions of this song exist, Van Halen paved the way.
Nana – Hurt
The only people who are hurt here are Orange Caramel fans. It’s clear Nana doesn’t want to do that shit anymore which is fine, I guess… actually, no it’s not fine. Surely there’s a way we can force an Orange Caramel comeback. Nuclear weapons? Another pandemic? Alien invasion? I think someone should just do what it takes.
NOW – Pickle
This Oh My Girl subunit sounds a bit like T-ara’s early Britney Spears ripoffs and is clearly working the same template, but ruins it with meandering melody, weird breakdowns and too much brassy nonsense.
Yuju feat. Gemini – No Matter
So bland that I went and watched other shit on YouTube for two hours and seriously delayed roundup.
Shin Euijin – Only think of me
Shin Euijin aka the girl who does the Dreamcatcher concepts that Dreamcatcher won’t do, is back again to save k-pop. As usual her tracks could use a little bit more modern metal punch but the songs are solidly there and the sound stays on track all the way through.
HITGS – Happy
Hey this is pretty nice. Nice melody, no bullshit, no change-up nonsense, no dogshit trap, doesn’t even drop to half time in the prechorus (just quietens the drums a bit), how did they do it? It seems like someone in Korea can write a song for a girl group, incredible stuff.
BAE173 – One Day
A bit of an insipid song but some fat synths help it get over the line. Bonus points for thinking outside the box with the dance locations, “clearing a space outside the agency foyer” and “that picnic stop on the highway” are as good a place as anywhere.
BAE173 – What’s Wrong? (Wae Ironi)
It’s logical that Pocketdol the original home of T-ara would get a remake of one of their classic songs right, and the BAE3.14159265359 version hits the right notes where it matters most. It still has flaws – the pre-chorus half-time is a bit unnecessary, the breakdown near the end is stupid, and the echoey synths rub up against the relatively dry vocals in a way which makes the whole thing feel as uncanny as the bizarrely awkward video – but there’s enough of what’s good about the original here to make this work.
NEXZ – I’m Him
I like how all the bystanderes in this video are acting with extreme repulsion. It’s definitely how we all feel.
TWS – Freestyle
I guess the purpose of this song is to play it just to check that your Spotify account is actually working before you delete it and cue up some music you actually want to listen to.
Memi – Miracle
I don’t know who these girls are, where they bass player vanished to, or why this song sounds like Kyuss-style stoner rock, but I’ll definitely take it.
POW – Wall Flowers
You know from the very first chord that this is going to be rubbish, but it ends up being a fairly different grade of rubbish to what I thought it was going to be.
Catch The Young – In Your Arms
They’re not even sitting this time, they’re lying down on couches. That’s it, k-pop is over, it’s done.
KickFlip – Secret Nightmare
Because people will ask: no it’s not live, simply because here’s no way that any studio that has a choice is going to use SM58s for vocal recording. Those things are an industry standard live stage microphone because of their durability in tough conditions and not any other reason, in a relatively serene studio environment you would record vocals using just about any other vocal mic.
JO1 – Handz In My Pocket
Maybe take your hands out of your pockets next time. I guess they really don’t need those JOI.
Monkeys – Big one is coming
I’ll spare you this week’s tragic nugu trot disaster (trust me, it’s not good) and give you this week’s non-Korean LGBT feature here instead, yay! This week it’s Dreamcrusher, and it’s hard to know even what to say about this other than that if you’ve ever thought about getting into noise music I think this is a really good place to start as they have a fairly modern, high-production sound (by the standards of the style, anyway) and their rhythms make them relatively accessible. Also, if you’re into LGBT music in general you probably should check out more industrial and noise music in general, as it’s probably the most queer-friendly music that has ever existed.
Yeosang – Legacy
Speaking of things gay people might be interested in, Yeosang from ATEEZ is really putting in the extra mile for fanservice here, my gay readers have been sending me lots of tipoffs about this track. Not much of a song but I don’t think anyone’s really listening, it’s all just an excuse for him to pose moodily in the grey mist with his shirt off.
Suho – Medicine
What the fuck is Suho sitting on, a pile of his own intestines? I saw that film “Dog Soldiers” recently where a dude’s intestines literally get ripped right out of him and then a dog munches on it and somehow the guy survives in the film for at least another twenty minutes and this really reminded me of that.
Onew – Hana no Yoni
I assume “Hana no yoni” means “can I touch you inappropriately at the club” in Japanese.
Han Seungyeon – First Love
Shit ballad – check. White dress – check. Brightly lit room with view of lush greenery – check. You know that a k-pop group are officially dead when their members start doing this sort of stuff.
ACE – Eres tù
This guy used to be in VAV apparently and his career is dead too. What is even the point.
Hwina – No, not this way
Embarassingly, the Korean Ministry of Promoting Random Artists So You Go To Korea And Spend Tourism Dollars have funded a seriously good song this week.
Kim Yonja, Kim Soyeon & Korean National Police Agency – 112 Party
And if you liked that, just wait until you see what the Korean Police Department have for you this week. Government departments are outperforming your bias!
HYNN – Wind that blows
More like song that blows.
kimj feat. SEBii, Effie, The Deep – MY UNNIES
Total madness, lots of fun.
As One – Until Always
According to my song submitter “this is the last song by the ballad duo. One of the members died last August and it is released for commemorating her death”. So, do I shit on it for being a horrible ballad and cop criticism from people who think Kpopalypse is cruel and heartless? Or, do I give it a positive review even though I hate this fucking shit song, and cop criticism from my own readers for selling out and pandering to grief for clicks and popularity? Such moral dillemas are too hard for me to navigate, I’m going to watch this guy feeding a pig.
Tasty Shop – Eternal Truth
I’ll finish roundup with this song, which isn’t bad actually, even though the horizontal camera panning section is hugely annoying.
Rockit Girl – I Like You
Oh but wait, Rockit Girl has a song out, and it’s kind of an almost doo-wop thing this time, nothing all that special but as usual they know how to make videos. No obsctructive panning here, Rockit Girl camera crew have strict instructions regarding what to focus on.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Kanner – Rich Man (demo version)
Aside from being far better musically, with rougher vocals, heavier guitars and a more organic-sounding backing track, the original version of “Rich Man” that was pitched to SM Entertainment also had far better lyrics. Of course SM Entertainment being basically conservative and timid as fuck had to dilute the message of the song significantly, because we can’t have any music leaking through into the Korean mainstream that might be inspiring, or good, or anything like that, gosh no.
Beginner driver Kim Chaewon
Now that certain groups aren’t in the picture (we won’t say the N-word here) and the TAG PR hate-generating campaign has been largely successful in shifting public opinion back in favour of our corporate overlords, HYBE are back in “nice mode” and doing their very best to help transfer your parasocial feels over to their existing roster. Here you can cheer for Le Sserafim’s Chaewon as she cutely learns to drive, my god this poor girl is going to get murdered the second she creeps out into regular Korean traffic with that driving style. They should have put her into a manual transmission car for extra laughs. Mind you let’s not be too harsh on her, this is probably a pretty wild experience for her – with all those years under corporate servitude she probably doesn’t even know how to take the fucking bus.
Narsha – Bbi-Ri-Bop-A
One of the most ill-advised hooks I’ve ever heard in a k-pop song, “Bbi-Ri-Bop” is truly laughable. Narsha is lucky that I didn’t break down my “worst of the golden age” k-pop list into separate years, because this certainly would have gotten on the worst list for 2010. And no I don’t plan to do that in the future, I have enough shit music in my life thanks for asking.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
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