Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 9/12/2024
It’s time for the last Kpopalypse roundup of the year! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
TWICE feat. Megan Thee Stallion – Strategy
Limp song that doesn’t do much? Ace visual Jeongyeon with two seconds of screentime? Yep it’s a 202x Twice comeback.
ROSÉ – Toxic Till The End
This middling slow jam isn’t going to get anyone rushing down to the aparteu.
RM feat. Moses Sumney – Around the world in a day
Weirdly slow and maudlin, even the out-of-place attempt to heavy it up halfway through just feels like it’s dragging the song down even further. The days of RM as a hitmaker seem long gone, and I guess that’s probably the way he wants it at this point. I’m sure nobody is as sick of the BTS fandom as much as the BTS members themselves are.
FIFTY FIFTY – When You Say My Name
Just like with everything else, Fifty Fifty are slighty above average with ballads too. The problem with this is that most k-pop ballads are so awful that a “slightly above average” k-pop ballad is still pretty fucking shit.
TREASURE – Last Night
Actually a reasonably coherent song, this is the “Lovesick Girls” arm of YG songwriting which we don’t really ever get to hear all that much. I wouldn’t say it’s as good at that song but it didn’t make me want to cut my ears off Mark Chopper Read style so that’s something.
CRAVITY – Now or Never
Another song that is actually a song for the most part. Okay, there’s a horrible trap break in there but it’s short and that type of thing is rapidly dying so I’m okay to just listen to it squirm and choke briefly before the song then resumes.
Rolling Quartz – RE.BOLD
As usual Rolling Quartz sound good and look great, and have a song that’s just not all that memorable.
THE BOYZ – Last Kiss
Horrible montage-pop.
THE8 feat. JinJiBeWater – Orbit
Not a lot going on here of note.
&TEAM – Illumination
Just letting you know that this is going to be the last roundup of 2024. As you can see we’re just getting a bunch of crappy middling songs this week so I don’t even have that much to say.
Izna – Timebomb
It’s just a boring week. The songs are so dull that I can’t even think of anything all that offensive to say.
NiziU – Always
At least we can always count on Niziu to be reliably crap.
NEXZ – Hard
Why is it called “hard”? Is it because it’s hard to listen to? Hard not to laugh at? Hard to see anyone caring?
Minho – Something About U
I blame EXO’s “Growl” for the visuals here. Before then SM used to have all sorts of innovative box videos, but ever since they realised that the fans couldn’t give a fuck if the dance video looks like it was shot in a goddamn parking lot as long as oppa waves his ass just right, nobody could be bothered putting in the effort anymore.
Yaochen – Better With You
This wasn’t very interesting so let’s have our last Asian but not Korean not pop not world music feature! I know I’ve featured Lovebites on this site before (as I should, because they’re great) but I just wanted you to know that since I last wrote about them YouTuber Fami has joined them as their new bass player and she brings such a smiley Jeewon/Chuu energy to the group that she’s impossible not to like.
M.O.N.T – When Winter Comes
What are these idiots doing moping around about winter, shouldn’t they be at the impeachment protest? What’s wrong M.O.N.T, don’t you love your country?
NINE.i – Mirage
Boys can you get out of the way, I’m trying to land this helicopter.
Keens – Buzz Down
Wait, now I have to wait for this girl group? Seriously, this thing’s going to run out of fuel soon. Do I have to fly right up behind you until you get the hint?
Hwang Seongbin – Naughty
This guy is from 82Major who have actually been not bad at all since debut but he seems to suck solo for some reason.
DREAMIX – Fairy Dream
After what we now know about how people get treated at the bigger labels, how do you think people in groups like this are coping with life.
Dbo – Championship
Dbo is weirdly listenable sometimes.
Kim A Reum – Aliens
This is really good, great melody and harmony writing.
Heena – Watermelon Tits
Oh my god, you’re not ready. Heena is usually one of those Autotune warblers that I just skip and don’t even bother with, but not here she isn’t, she’s totally redeemed herself and then some. Make sure you have captions on if you’re not fluent in Korean, because I promise that you are not ready for these lyrical gems. This is the kind of energy we need to save Korean hip-hop. I’m ending roundup here, I’ve had enough of reviews for one year and nothing’s going to top this for this week that’s for sure.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Jisoo – Raindrops
It’s not enough that we have bland solo ballad comebacks from k-pop idols constantly, people now make their very own wish-fulfillment new ones with AI. I wonder how much carbon was thrown up into the atmosphere to make this monstrosity happen. Some people really do need AI Jesus.
QWER working hard to be in the next Kpopalypse Fashion Class post
I have to check in on my feminist queens to see how they’re doing and it seems that they are perfecting some new looks, and they really do all look great, so the next QWER video should have some pretty good fashion choices.
Lee Hyori – 10 Minutes
Lee Hyori in 480p with a wonky-ass transfer just shows how little these companies give a fuck about pop music after it’s had its day in the sun. One of the better initiatives SM Entertainment has gone on recently is their vintage video restoration project, I hope other companies start noticing. Not much of a fan of the song though, it’s just that dreary mid-paced thing that was trending in about 2000 in the USA, and they don’t do a lot with it. Oh well. Happy 2024!
That’s the last roundup of the year! We now transition into end of year content! Here’s your timetable of posts!
11th December 2024 – 2024 end of year survey/clearing house submissions post!
14th December 2024 – Predictions for 2025!
17th December 2024 – Stats and metrics for 2024!
25th December 2024 – Christmas 2024 k-pop songs roundup!
28th December 2024 – Clearing house post for 2024 (songs that missed roundup)!
29th December 2024 – Honourable and dishonourable mentions for 2024!
31st December 2024 – Kpopalypse’s 30 worst k-pop songs of 2024!
31st December 2024 – Kpopalypse’s 30 favourite k-pop songs of 2024!
…and probably some other shit, too!
The release of the honourable/dishonourable posts and best/worst posts will also be livestreamed at the usual place. If you want to make sure you don’t miss them, you can access a countdown to the honourable/dishonourable livestream by clicking HERE and a countdown to the best/worst livestream by clicking HERE! Stay safe, caonimas!
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