Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 26/8/2024
It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
OH MY GIRL – Classified
A return to the aesthetics of Oh My Girl’s best era (“Secret Garden“, “Closer” etc) which is very welcome, but also is kind of botched musically thanks to some weird dancehall rhythms and an oddly busy sound. I really wanted to like this one but shoehorning too many trends into it killed the vibe.
YOUNG POSSE – ATE THAT
It’s a pretty convincing version of 90s P-funk sound, and I absolutely love the GTA San Andreas-inspired video, but the simple fact is that even back in the 1990s P-funk style rap beats did not clean the plate – the sound actually signalled the gradual softening of rap beats from the ultra-hard 80s style into the wimpy softcock excuse for beats that we know today. It’s hard to imagine now, but back in 1993 this was the soft, shit rap sound that only Dr Dre could do right and absolutely nobody else.
STAYC – MEOW
Lots of sections here are pretty good in isolation but the whole thing doesn’t quite fit together in terms of tone. It’s like they couldn’t quite decide what mood they were going for so they just went with a little of all of them.
ZEROBASEONE – Good So Bad
Boy group funk excursions like this usually sound generic and drab, but this is better than most of them. If you close your eyes and raise the voices by about a fourth, this could be one of the better Twice songs from recent years.
NCT DREAM – Rains In Heaven
NCT Dream take a stab at the same musical direction as SoReal’s excellent and hugely underrated “My Heart Says“. Sadly, they don’t quite nail it that well, mainly due to substituting the punchy rhythms for something much softer and more boring, but thanks to some decent melodic writing they do still get close enough for the song to generally not suck, so that’s something.
ILY:1 – Illang (Firework)
Really not much of a song at all, but the video has Yongma Land roundabout, bunnies, sheep, horses, Cignature’s outfits, the forest, a pier thing and a crappy go-kart track, not things I thought I’d ever see in the same video. I hope she didn’t sing too loud near that bunny, it looks scared.
Moonbyul – Is This Love?
I don’t love the song but damn Moonbyul is rocking all the looks in this video, I’m definitely lesbian for her and you should be too. Speaking of which, the final book in the Shin Hana series “The Love Complete” has now been released! Now all of you who have been following the story since “Show Me Love” came out 18 months ago can find out how Hana’s misandrist adventures end. Hint: she doesn’t become a men’s rights activist.
Jaehyun – Smoke
A really nice backing track, if it had any type of vocal approach over the top except the one that they used, and I literally mean any type at all (rap, yodelling, emocore screaming, Tuvan throat singing, even opera, just take your pick), this would have been great. K-pop producers really do fail to see the obvious so many times.
RIIZE – Be My Next
Next what? Torture victim?
NiziU – Believe
Not a terrible song from Niziu this time, this torch-waving power fantasy tripe actually suits them. I’m not sure whose idea it was to rub all the girls’ clothes in oatmeal but if they’re going to fail at something I’d rather it not be the music for a change.
KATSEYE – I’m Pretty
It’s pretty… average.
KATSEYE – Tonight I Might
Tonight I might not.
1000° – So Obvious
Okay so this is reasonably good. Maybe a bit too “classic rock” in a bad way, like a Led Zeppelin album track from one of those later albums nobody listens to, but 70s rock music with decent melody and without Robert Plant squeezing his lemon all over it is an improvement.
NEXZ – Keep on Moving
JYP’s latest boy group… wait, is it their latest one? Who the fuck knows… anyway they’re in the “let’s try and get fans interested with an actual song” stage of their career, before they start making space noises or whatever.
PLAVE – Pump Up The Volume!
If you ever want a reason why this site is better than Asian Junkie (you know, besides the lack of ads, the lack of interest in gossip and far superior sportball content) then just remember that he stans this Plave monstrosity for some weird reason which I totally don’t get and… oh wait this song actually isn’t bad. I guess I’ll redraft this review later once he pays me my share of SM-coins for binning that Neil Hannigan interview.
Xdinary Heroes – Save Me
These guys should just do an AOA and stop pretending they’re in a rock group and just pose out in miniskirts or something.
Gyeongree – Cherry
This is Kyungri, former Nine Muses member and once-star of the Objectification Surveys, which are going great by the way, thanks for asking. Anyway song is not exactly amazing but it’s nice enough and the video mrcs
DIAWINGS – Like a river flow
I think I’ll just let this one flow out to sea.
Ikling – Trip Go
This is Seohlee from the legendary live-idol group Girls2000 doing a sort of pretend commercial idol-pop thing with some friends. It’s not really that good (and boy does it make me wish for a Girls2000 comeback), but to her credit it’s not any worse than plenty of other shit that’s had millions of dollars of bank loans and torture poured into it. So I support it because it’s proof that you don’t need all that rubbish.
GK feat. Haneul of KISS OF LIFE – IDC
No, not the Haneul with only two strings on her bass guitar, the other one. Anyway, if they don’t care, I don’t see any reason why I should.
Ryu Sujeong – White Dress
I was ready to roast this as another ex-Lovelyz ballad but then it surprised me by having a pulse. It’s not very exciting but it has some genuinely weird sections and it’s a start.
Sungmin – YO.YO.YO.
The words “no cap” do not belong in a trot song.
Yoon Sanha – Bleeding
With the languid tempo and general lack of anything interesting, this feels like a track to practice dance moves to rather than actually listen to.
Jun.k – Paint This Love
It’s certainly Jun.k. (I know I make that same joke everytime he puts out a shit song but that’s his punishment for sucking with this boring yacht rock.)
Raon – Hi, dream
If this is live, my vagina is an asshole, but the song’s decent and it even has a guitar solo (even if the girl is holding an accursed jazz guitar) so whatever.
Lee Jun Hyung – Inevitable Destiny
Also good guitaring here, and a good song. There is hope.
Jung Jin Woo – Where is god?
I ask myself this same question each week when it’s roundup time.
015B feat. Dawon – Endless Maze of Life
Just one of 015B’s more weak tracks so let’s have our Asian but not Korean not pop not world music feature here instead! Nic Endo always felt like not the right fit to replace Hanin Elias in Atari Teenage Riot in my opinion, but she was definitely very fucking good when away from that group. Here she is making some noise which I’d rather listen to than most of roundup this week.
BEBE YANA – Icy On My Neck
Can we stop having this beat in everything thank you.
Mitty feat. Dvckii – Overthinking
I should have made this the Asian but not Korean not pop not world music feature replacement song instead because it’s so boring, but I didn’t because someone specifically requiested it. I have no idea why, nothing in this song has any character.
Yoonsun – Milky Way
I’ll leave you with this thing which isn’t bad and you can play spot the Kim Garam chalk art which is always fun.
Rockit Girl – Love Shines Brighter
I can’t leave you without the token Rockit Girl song though. This one is basically “Little Cat” at a third of the speed, in a bikini. Not sure if that’s an improvement overall or not, but it isn’t muscially.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
aespa Karina IG Live – Yodel Song
Karina likes to stream for even less time than I do, she did a one minute long stream just to yodel and then fuck off, good work Karina, represent for all the streamers like me who can’t stream for a long time because we have throat issues. I probably fucking sound exactly like this after an hour of talking.
twice *genuine* reaction on mina’s twerk… (ft. twice greatest enemy)
Did you remember to vote in the Objectification Survey this year? If you didn’t, maybe next year don’t be such a fucking prude like conservative misogynist religious nutcases want you to be. There’s still two rounds of results coming so expect them fondly! I think that all of Twice probably voted.
Monsta X – Hero
Speaking of the Objectification Survey, I hope you realise that we’re still, at the time of writing, in the third generation of k-pop, and the fourth generation officially starts when Wonho doesn’t sweep every male category in the Objectification Survey. For now here’s a reminder of what he looked like back before he started bodybuilding, although the song’s annoying sax riff is far more anemic than anyone in this video.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
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