Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 24/6/2024
It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Red Velvet – Cosmic
A really weird song, with the verses coming across like peak bassline-heavy boy-group dance number and the chorus just being something else barely related plonked on top. It’s not bad overall because it’s honestly just different enough to be interesting, and it benefits from one of the rarest things in all of k-pop – a breakdown that actually helps the song’s momentum rather than killing it stone dead.
NewJeans – Supernatural
The vocal melody is pretty bland but the beat is oddly addictive and actually makes the song work despite itself. It could have been a lot better but given everything else these girls have to put up with (crazy dancing, crazy fans, crazy media, crazy label bosses fighting over them, inclusion in crazy Kpopalypse computer games) I’m willing to cut the songwriter a bit of slack for making them vocally sleepwalk through it.
Aespa – Live My Life
Aespa goes Olivia Rodrigo-lite on a feature track in a way that Girls’ Generation, f(x) or Red Velvet would never have dared. It’s not the best iteration of this sound I’ve heard (it wouldn’t have killed them to turn the guitars and drums up a bit more) but just the fact that this exists at all is encouraging.
H1-KEY – Let It Burn
H1-key show aespa and everyone else how the rock concept should be done in k-pop – rhythms front and center of the mix, tons of great harmony choices, great clothes on everybody (yes this is important, as Frank Zappa said “no change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style, rock is to dress up to“) and fake-ass miming of instruments in the video. They didn’t even need all that much tempo, this works fine as a mid-paced song.
Kwon Eunbi – Sabotage
Kwon Eunbi doing her best to sabotage your faves’ chances of getting on the Kpopalypse best list this year with this SAW-alike pop banger, that is until the shitty rap break comes in at 1:28 to provide some sabotage of its own.
TWS – If I’m S, Can You Be My N?
What do they mean by S and N? I have no idea. I can only assume the “N-word” isn’t “Newjeans”. Anyway the song’s not bad even though in a world of truth and justice it would be Gfriend singing it instead.
Rolling Quartz – Victory
Rolling Quartz have the same problem that a lot of hard rock bands in my own town have – killer vocals, killer playing, great rock sound, great rock image, but they can’t write memorable melodies and just fall back on that boring blues-based thing. When Rolling Quartz tackle someone else’s song, they always knock it out of the park because everything else about them is great, but no amount of FPS final boss cosplay can make me like a song that sounds like something my own singer improvised the last time she was drunk on the plane.
tripleS Glow – Inner Dance
I’m really glad that people have stopped buying my books because I made a commitment to learning how to identify all the TripleS members when I got to 100 sales of the third one and sales have thankfully flatlined just a few short, thank fuck for that. I have no fucking idea who these girls are or any of the other girls in TripleS are so please continue to not buy my “fictional” k-pop books I don’t want to be a bestselling author that badly if it means I have to Redvelvetise my brain again.
CSR – Hello
This isn’t bad but it’s nowhere near recapturing the sound of CSR at their peak two years ago. A shame as I could really use more of that sound right now.
Min feat. Lil Cherry – Prime Time
This song sounds way better when Lil Cherry is on the mic as the vocals really don’t suit the backings that well, but the raps do. Min should be leaning into the sassy side that made her popular in early miss A days but instead she’s outsourcing it.
PURPLE KISS – Heart Attack
Purple Kiss always with the “our video director is taking an extra long shit so we’ll just do the damn thing ourselves” content lately. Maybe they really are running out of money, guess we’ll find out soon when the articles finally come out about how they’re getting fucked around behind the scenes somehow. Just remember when it happens that I called it. The reason why I’ve never called myself a “journalist” or this site a “news site” is because news sites tell you what happens after it happened, whereas I tell you before.
SUPER JUNIOR D&E – You&Me
I have to admit that this was a lot better than I was expecting. Notice how it says “Annie” on the screen right when the horrible beat drop happens though, they’re definitely fucking with us here.
BLITZERS – Superpower
My superpower is turning off boy group songs as soon as the rap break starts.
LUN8 – Evergreen
The song’s not too bad but mainly I just like the video. You know that some religious piece of shit who probably should be killed will get all offended about how these boys are parting the water like Jesus supposedly did in the bible. Offending religious belief is always a very righteous and correct thing to do so I’m stanning LUN8 at least until their label forces them to make some weak-ass apology just because 0.01% of the population got their panties in a bunch over some fairytale.
WayV – She a Wolf
Pretty cool how they bombed a whole civilian apartment block and some nearby traffic just to make a music video. If someone doesn’t put something in Putin’s breakfast cereal he’s got a bright future in Digipedi.
Marz – Starlight
When you couldn’t be bothered finishing your k-pop music video set just fill the area with fog and lights so nobody can see the rear wall that you shoved all the mess against. It’s the k-pop equivalent of cleaning your room by shoving everything under the bed.
Lee Youngji feat. Doh Kyungsoo (D.O) – Small girl
Was looking forward to Youngji’s raps hard carrying whatever the other person was doing this week which is how her collabs usually go, but no it’s a dull R&B song with them both singing lazily, what a shame. Oh well she’s usually good so I guess she’s earned the right to Hwayoung it up in the bathtub a little.
918, Untell, Swervy – Fatality
Hey this isn’t bad but it’s kind of hard to enjoy with annoyingly revving engines over about half the track. Nobody cares about your dumb car when you cruise by your city’s nightspots slowly revving the engine because you have a small penis, and nobody cares now. More Swervy, less swerving, thanks.
Minkyun feat. Wyatt – Far Away
Some guys from ONF do a soft rock thing and it’s kind of dull, although I’m sure the fashions will be a hit with some of you.
Hwiyoung – It Is Love
The song wasn’t deemed boring enough so they also decided to make the video boring by removing most of the colours from it.
Peniel – MIoBI (Make It or Break It)
Wait, is Peniel actually making music? Definitely unexpected, although losing the Autotune would be appreciated.
JeA – Why Didn’t I Realize That
Jea actually has a pleasant enough track here, which is great because she’s usually kinda boring and it’s a drag to have to criticise her all the time.
EPIK HIGH – Antihero
Tablo might not have copied his degree but he certainly copied this very obviously DJ Premier-inspired beat off some old Gang Starr records. It’s a good choice though, it makes everything else on top of it okay.
EPIK HIGH feat. Kim Jong Wan of Nell – I Was Happy
Epik High are a lot less convincing in mumble-ballad mode.
K.Will – No Sad Songs For My Broken Stars
The song submitter for this one noted for me that “the MV features the same actors as those in the “Please Don’t” MV” but I would have picked up on that anyway, that expression at 1:43, this particular actor is really good at doing that and I would recognise it anywhere. Anyway the song’s not as good as Please Don’t but it’s also not as bad as the typical Korean ballad, I’m just happy to get the original stars of BGP content back for another spin.
015B feat. KYLY – Smile Under the Sunlight
015B are one of the gods of recreating old retro styles, it’s just a pity that they pick snoozeworthy yacht-rock 90% of the time. This is one of those 10% songs where they choose a different style instead and thank fuck for that.
Rothy – Happy End
All the artists nobody cares about are having all the best songs this week. Rothy’s song isn’t bad at all.
ISHA feat. $keleton – Why do u love me?
Someone really wanted me to review this song by this ex-Berry Good member and I don’t know why because it’s absolutely boring and ordinary? It makes me want to go on a massive tangent about the last time I bought ice cream or something, there is literally nothing to discuss here. I would have happily put my non-Korean non-pop non-world-music feature here instead. Song submitters, be careful what you wish for.
Illboi – Red Tape
I guess the weekly non-Korean non-pop non-world-music feature can go over this shitty rap song instead. I’m sure you’ve all heard of Chthonic, arguably Taiwan’s most successful metal export, but then maybe you haven’t, in which case, you have now. Anyway China’s not going to invade Taiwan and after watching this video it should be obvious why. You don’t want to fuck with these people.
HUNJIYA – Echo
Hunjiya is getting rave reviews right now and I guess I must be mentally deficient because this just sounds kind of meandering and unexciting to me. I appreciate that it’s different-sounding and she’s obviously got some talent but there’s nothing here that grabbed me, I guess I’m Kpopalypse not Koreanactualrealmusicalypse, I’ll leave this for the websites that people actually take seriously.
HORTICULTURE SECTION
Seo In Guk – Out of Time
Remember what I said the other week about the longer the grass in the fields being, the shittier the ballad is? Well the grass here is all the way up to his fucking neck in places.
Yunsae – Isle of Me
See? Short grass, much better song.
JungBeat – Wanna be a Free and Quirky Granny
And again, grass isn’t too long, the song is… well, it’s reasonable. If you don’t care about garden maintenance, how are you going to care about writing decent music?
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Yves ft. Lil Cherry – Loop
Just an FYI for you that Yves did a second video for this song and this one has Lil Cherry in it. Notice how much better the video is as a result? Not saying Yves looks bad or anything, far from it (she gets on my bias list for a reason) but Lil Cherry just has that personality that works really well on screen and is a joy to watch doing practically anything, it’s a nice little change.
Jeewon and Yuna Ogura perform Cignature’s “I Like I Like” dance challenge
Is Jeewon’s current market positioning really a “Stellar and the milk fridge” situation, or is she actually totally fine with the JAV collabs as her own company-endorsed statements suggest? We don’t know, and we likely won’t know for years to come, but in the meantime just know that here is a wholesome dance routine with two happy people who seem to be getting along just fine. How can people hate on this? K-pop fans just hate fun, that’s what it is, they always have to be miserable and complain about something, while the world and all the joys of it passes them by, then they wonder why they’re so depressed all the time. What a sad existence. Never mind the hate and follow Kpopalypse.com for all your k-pop fun-loving fun times. It’ll do wonders for your mental health. Also, forget about Yuna Ogura’s suggestion that Jeewon get into JAV (and I mean why wouldn’t she at least mention it just out of duty of care, have you seen celebrity JAV incomes vs B-list k-pop idol incomes? Holy moly), what Kpopalypse really wants to know is: Yuna Ogura k-pop debut when?
Pink Fantasy – Shy 12 o’clock
Did I really miss this when it first came out? I guess I might have? Anyway it’s not that good, coming off like a inferior version of Secret’s “Shy Boy” plus some of IU’s “Modern Times” album, mind you that’s muscally not a bad place to be.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
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