The RESULTS of the Kpopalypse 2024 Survey of important trufax!
This post has all the results of the Kpopalypse 2024 Survey of important trufax!
About 350 caonimas did this important survey! The results are below!
Question 1: Hi! How are you? Answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.
Some selected responses and my replies.
Game dev industry is struggling, our whole company was fired this month, so no luck buying your books I guess. Totally your fault, because you hadn’t bought that 4090 and played our game!
I’ll make you a deal, if you buy my books I’ll buy your games. Although I guess since you’ve been fired I’ll have to wait until you start an independent game studio and make those games. But please keep me in the loop on that.
Hi oppar, I’m doing okay, except this week I had a bitch of a professor tell me “I see you’re not doing so well in this class, how are you going to solve that? I’m not going to give you extra time for any assignments, so how are you going to pass?” and honestly fuck that attitude. That actually inspired me to present all my future assignments on time to pass her fucking class and never see her stupid face again. I wish everyone who enforces useless arbitrary rules like this a very unpleasant life. (it’s not like we have a stroke patient or doing organ transplants to be so strict with time!!!)
That professor is smart, she couldn’t get you to perform out of diligence so she got you to perform out of spite…
Well, I’m still alive. Still want to have lots of gay sex with Ten. Bareback flip-fucking of course. It’s nice that SM finally gave him an actual solo, song could be better but my faps were excellent. Please vote for him in the upcoming objectification survey, as well as Zhang Hao* and Juyeon, who I also want to have lots of gay sex with. Apparently Ten might do Waterbomb so hopefully the timing is right for survey impact.
Speaking of gay sex, I know we don’t like sport around these areas but I am also grateful that Formula 1 (which is also kinda like k-pop in many ways) introduced me to Charles Leclerc, Oscar Piastri, and Lando Norris. Yes, I want to have lots of gay sex with them too. Also Oscar is a wasian Australian so you cunts better stan. Charles also occasionally has his ice baths posted, so there’s that too. So yeah, yay for gay sex! (If we get good songs/an actual fucking championship battle then that would be nice too)
*His group mate and (alleged) lover Sung Hanbin is also worth a look (and a fap).
You’ll be happy to know that future objectification surveys will be delayed until Waterbomb performances finish. Thanks for reading, and vote safely!
I’m currently waiting at the airport bc my classes start again on Monday. I’m fine though! I just finished To the Lighthouse so now I can read your new book~
Awesome! I assume you’ve read it by now so I hope it met required standards!
I am struggling like fuck to get a new job. I am currently employed with a job that is fine but I know that in order to increase my salary, gain valuable skills, and escape a dysfunctional environment, I have to leave this company. Please pray for me now in my hour of need.
I’m not really a prayer kind of person, so if I did pray for you I think god would figure out something was sus and just fuck you up even more. Instead I’ll just look at Eunha fancams and hope you do well. If any caonimas want to join me in this activity, here’s one.
i’m an extremely hairy woman and it sux
Sorry to hear. I can relate because I have the opposite problem of being really non-hairy. There’s certain conveniences that hair has that I definitely miss ever since my body decided not to grow any.
Please don’t put this in the results post but [stuff removed at reader request]
Okay then!
New boyfriend ^_^ He has a body like sculpted caramel and a cock larger than my head is wide.
Have fun!
I’m good! I finally managed to move out from my parents’ home and have a nice new place to call my own! It’s been a pretty long-held ambition but it wasn’t easy. In the end it all happened super fast so I think it will take me a while to recover from the excitement. I’ve reread some tips you gave a caonima before on moving out but any kpopalypse hot tips or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!
Probably nothing else I can think of off the top of my head other than what’s in this post, so good luck! Seems like it’s going well so far!
Shitty. My kid is mentally ill, and we’re spending so much money treating him, and he treats us like shit. I was supposed to go to the Twice concert tonight, but I had to cancel my trip to Vegas to deal with him. Don’t have kids.
Noted! If anyone from now on asks me why I don’t have children, this is now officially why.
Fuck you cunt i don’t have time for this shit
Thanks for taking the precious time out of your day to do this survey!
I’m as good as I can be when Billlie is 2 members down
Stay strong!
Alright. First brake up having an existential crisis. Holy shit I’m 20 I should’ve gone through this shit already. It’s the autistic lesbianism. the lesbotic autism. Well not really it’s the human condition. Other then that I’m doing well in school, I saw Dune 2 with my best friend, Built a robot, and got the last of an obnoxiously long series of surgeries on my ingrown toenails. Overall life has been treating me well.
I’m jealous I didn’t even have a relationship let alone a break-up at 20.
I’m fucking stressed and indecisive as per usual. But this time it’s cause there’s an open casting call for extras in a series and I’ve never done that before and I’d like to try but I kinda look shit these days. Also, it’s for a religious series and that curdles my milk dang it!
Just do it! Religious people are a lot less annoying when they’re the ones giving YOU money.
Good thanks, heading to mainland China today. I wonder if kpopalypse.com is banned over there…
You should be able to access my content just fine in China! My most recent stats show that China is the 14th most popular country for Kpopalypse readers, actually beating out South Korea!
I am so irresponsible and lazy and horrible at school and i have no passions. So i am fine. idk what to do with myself and i dont really care. Also i live in central america but that is not an option (it is technically included in north america but people think north america is only USA + Canada, we want representation too…..)
For the country poll, I consider north of Panama canal North America and south of it South America. Central is only if you live in a houseboat on the canal or you’re doing this survey from a ship that’s passing through the canal. I know that’s an oversimplification but I didn’t want to get too granular with it.
I’m pretty like Irene Bae and hot, thank you Kpopalypse. Enjoying the originality of your content that AsianJunkie’s lazy ass copies from sometimes
Cheers!
Mid. Just got bought some roses though which is lovely. I was supposed to remind you about cat pics last month, totally forgot but do you wanna see a picture of my cat? She’s the sweetest fluffy cloud
Yes I do.
Hi! I’m answering the survey at my work computer in my office, as God intended. But I’m feeling a bit down. Waking up early and commuting five days a week and working my ass off 8 hours a day while being unable to stop the literal genocide happening right now is pretty demoralizing.
I don’t use social media but not seeing pictures and videos doesn’t stop me from logically knowing that the carnage is happening in real time. Also the “country” that is perpetuating this genocide sent men from their army to my own country to teach my people how to kill ~commies~ and engineered the death of over 50000 of my people so this shit is hitting extremely close to home, so no, I’m not “virtue signaling”, I just feel kinship with a group of people who are being fucked just like my people were, by the exact same group of perpetrators. And no, we haven’t been able to prosecute the perpetrators because iSSrael is refusing extradition lmao. I also have to watch the people in power in privileged countries who are able to stop this, refuse to do anything because they need their FOREVER WAR and those weapons aren’t going to sell themselves duh
Moreover a large amount of regular people are cheering for this because they never read Hannah Arendt but I have read her and because of that I do fear that one day it will be me as the “objective enemy” and my family running away from the bombs, especially as my country is one of the few that has dared to speak out against pissrael so I’m sure the zios will attempt some sort of retribution against us when they’re done exterminating the Palestinians.
Other than that, I’m pretty okay! everything is fine
no need to worry
Yes it’s not fun times in some parts of the world right now. Stay safe!
HI KPOPALYPSE OPPAR. Life is so shitty rn I’m stuck in a major I have zero interest in and the guy I’m into left me on read for 6 days because he was playing LOST ARK. I hope that shitty game burns to the ground. Lately I have been finding myself attached to men even quicker and faster. I’m always on my phone waiting for a text back from a random dude that doesn’t even gaf. I know it’s probably because I’m missing in some other area in my life that I should probably improve but I’m a Kpopalypse tiktok reader my habits do not change and I will always act oblivious to what’s right in front of me. Anyway funny thing is that when I talk with men that are exactly my type physically, I get angry and a bit turned off. Like I feel like any kind of convo or interest they show me will be shallow. It feels like they are only talking to me because they can’t get their type to talk back to them. SO NOW it’s this stupid loop where no one is happy. I need to find some man that likes mid women or just go for someone with some stupid niche fetish for a quality I have so that they actually have a reason to like me. I tried to put the read notifications off with this one dude I was interested in and deleted our convos because he wasn’t texting me back or showing interested AND THEN just the moment I do that he fucking called me. WHAT DO THESE MEN WANT FROM ME. Anyway I’m in line waiting for a sandwich yummmmmmmmmmmmmm・・・・ (it’s a tuna sandwich btw)
Even at the height of my computer gaming addiction I’d put the brakes on any gaming swiftly at the sign of any female interest in my person. What’s wrong with these softcock guys, too much incel online content rotting their brains I think. At least tuna sandwiches have remained consistently good.
I’m graduating this year and I am pissing and shitting and crying every time that I think about it because what the hell am I supposed to do now? I technically don’t even graduate because I didn’t pass enough courses to be able to graduate, I’m just finishing my school-era I guess, but what the hell am I supposed to do???? I have a major depression that hasn’t gotten better in years that stops me from being able to be an actual functioning valuable member of society, and my lack of education and work experience will not get me very far in finding a job. It doesn’t even feel like I have a shot at a future, not in the sense that I can only see me having a terrible time after graduation, but I literally cannot envision me having a life after graduation. I can’t even see myself graduating! My life was supposed to end years ago and now that I somehow survived past my teenage years, I don’t know what the hell to do. Kpopalypse hyung, is it over for me?
No. Just graduate and be awesome. Secret: almost NOBODY knows what the fuck they’re going to do after they leave school-era. I certainly didn’t. Most people just muddle around and try to figure it out. But it’s something to look forward to. Get a job, just a shit one at first to get money will do, something you can do with your brain half-off, then get a better job, work your way up to something that seems cool, once you figure out what that is. Also seeing a doctor about your depression is a good idea, don’t leave that shit untreated, depression does fucked up things to people.
i am super depressed all the time b/c my grandmother died and now i feel alone. Kpop makes it worse but out of habit I come here to check if there might be a decent song released.
K-pop isn’t actually very good music for depression, partly because hearing happy music when you’re sad can be alienating, and partly because the ‘toxic positivity’ of the k-pop culture and fan community forbids any negativity, and acknowledging negative emotions is actually really important for mental health. That’s part of why I write the way that I do and also why I try to introduce people to other music as well as the k-pop stuff. It’s important to have a diverse musical diet and not try to hold yourself up to unrealistic k-pop standards of happy la-la bullshit. Even the k-pop singers themselves groan and complain as soon as the cameras are off, something I tried to show in my books…
Good. Just became a stripper
Glad that you’re feeling good!
I’m ok, I think this my eleventh or twelfth year reading this blog? I have my first “real job” in the field I studied for and I’m underpaid, the boss of the company is shitty and money grubbing but my co-workers are pretty chill. I’m just applying to as many other places as I can. Could be worse.
Wow, thanks for sticking around! Good luck in your job search!
Kpopalypse’s 203981th bi mid-20s female reader reporting in for duty. Recently dumped my freeloading ex-girlfriend and am now living my best heterosexual life (dating a guy who’s much much nicer and equally hot.) Otherwise somewhat sad at the moment bc school is stressful and annoying and my anti-depression meds are making me sick/making it hard to hang out with people, but life goes on.
Also, regular starbucks consumer unfortunately since it’s one of the only coffee shops open late in my neighborhood (there are others which close super early, and one which closes late but actually tastes even WORSE than starbucks. So…)
I’ve successfully boycotted Starbucks by 1. it not even being available where I live and 2. not liking coffee anyway. Mind you I don’t think much else coffee wise is open late at night here either. There is an amazing coffee place walking distance from my house though. Welcome to the bisexual female Kpopalypse readers club!
Actually doing better with my depression lately! All thanks to a new medication, which feels pretty crazy to me bc I legitimately thought things would never get any better. Unfortunately I’m sick right now but at least that’s temporary, lol. Enjoyed the newest installment in the Hana series- Gyeongja is my bias hehe
Just wanted to put this here to let readers know it is possible to beat depression. Don’t let it get the best of you, folks.
Disoriented because I realized most celebrities are actually transgendered Baphomet worshippers. But other than that, pretty good.
You say that like it’s somehow a bad thing.
Thanks to your North Korean Music roundup and while compiling that list for the unknown artists, I developed a renewed interest in North Korean media and began reading some North Korean short stories and poetry. It’s genuinely quite difficult because 1) they use some weird and/or old grammar structures, and 2) just a lot of words not used in the South. Most of the time, you can find even the most obscure grammar points in the Naver dictionary and googling weird vocab will bring you far enough, but I had to consult Korean friends of mine several times about things I was just not able to figure out. But it’s fun nonetheless.
Glad I was able to help inspire you! Now I just gotta work out how to get that North Korean web traffic…
I am doing decently, fav fap groups TXT & NCT Dream has their cumbacks within a week from each other. They’re so sweet and considerate! I would be faring a lot better however if kpop boy Seunghan would be reintegrated back into SM’s new boy group Riize. While I enjoy members Sungchan and Anton, the absence of the most MRS member leaves the group with a severe deficit in cuteness and sex appeal.
May the thirst be with you.
Okay, I guess. In a confused state of mind because I’ve met two attractive men who both turned out married and claiming to be in dead bedrooms. And the worst part is that I’m tempted. I haven’t had sex in 16 years so maybe that’s messing my mind up. I honestly thought I was asexual all this time, I do not know what has gotten into me!
I don’t know either but hopefully you work things out, one way or the other!
Hi oppar! I’m feeling pretty good, I managed to found a graduate program which would be a good fit for me and I’m done with all the interviews! And I just got the call that I’m getting it while filling out this survey, caonimas stay winning! Hope you’re doing great!
Wow that’s awesome, congratulations! Good fortune befalls those who do Kpopalypse surveys.
ending my sexless month with several stranger dicks up my ass in 2 straight nights so I’m good for the rest of the month lmao. hope you’re doing fine as well!
I guess I know who I should go to for any future anal sex queries. I’m good!
Let’s get on with the rest of the questions!
Question 2: What brings you to the Kpopalypse survey today?
As expected, the amount of people who do the survey because they love Kpopalypse was outweighed by the amount of people who were just bored out of their mind. It’s okay, I won’t take it personally.
Question 3: Important demographic question. Where do you live?
North America and Western Europe accounted for over 50% of readers between them, with South East Asia being third, and the rest of the options being beaten by the “none of your business cunt” answer, meaning that I guess it’s none of my business. There were definitely plenty of people on the International Space Station reading my writing though! I guess they must be shooting a k-pop comeback up there, if a space-themed comeback appears soon you’ll know which group reads this site!
Question 4: More demographics. Where are you on the political spectrum?
Kpopalypse.com is never a place to shy away from the big political questions, so it was time to put readers to their toughest challenge yet – choosing between Chuu and Yves. I didn’t give readers a third option because if I did everyone would have picked it to avoid controversy, and we can’t have avoiding controversy around these parts. Anyway it looks like Chuu is winning the upcoming election!
Question 5: Worst cringe overused k-pop English lyric phrase?
Definitely the “I don’t give a…” phrases were considered worse, but I wonder if polling would have been different if Babymonster’s “Sheesh“, which was released after the survey was published and is the latest song to feature the horrid “eyes on me” line, came out early enough to catch the majority of the voting?
Question 6: How important do you think singing is in kpop?
Of course nobody thinks singing is important in k-pop. Thank you for tolerating this completely redundant question which just confirmed what we all already knew.
Question 7: This is a picture of Le Sserafim’s Yunjin holding a Starbucks coffee cup.
What was your first thought when seeing this image?
Lots of opinions on Yunjin and Starbucks here but many readers agreed that carrying your handbag and your coffee in one hand isn’t very OH&S compliant.
Question 8: In preparation for the Objectification Survey later this year, please rate the follow k-pop idols on this non-specific scale.
Winners in each category:
Cake: Wonho
Penguin: Liz
Doorknob: Jaehyo
Orange: Sorn
Mouse: Taeyeon
I’m not sure what any of this means, but I’m sure it means something!
Question 9: TikTok may be getting banned in the USA soon. What will happen to k-pop fans?
I admire the optimism of my readers. Hopefully you’re right and the average media literacy levels do improve because god knows k-pop fans sure are struggling with it at the moment.
Question 10: Here’s some guy talking about Ko-fi vs Patreon (thanks to the caonima who told me about this!)
Because of the information in this video, I’ve started a Ko-fi so caonimas can rest assured that their donations aren’t going towards Patreon’s fee structure. However I’ll leave Patreon open so that way caonimas have choice. Which of the below applies to you?
Thanks to all those who subscribed to the Kpopalypse Ko-fi which is at THIS LINK if you feel like donating! Impressively, about 30% of readers said that they would consider donating to the Ko-fi. Of course there’s no obligation for any reader to do such a thing, but the donations do definitely help make the site better and also go towards funding related activities, like making books and buying cat food (guess which one I spend more money on per year), so for those of you who donate, thank you very much from the bottom of my cat’s stomach (pictured below)!
Question 11: Kpopalypse roundup remains my most popular content. If you’re doing this survey it’s a safe bet that you read roundup. What reason makes you read the most?
Several people had stuff to say in the “other” category, represented by the white part of the graph. Most ‘other’ responses were people saying they read for a variety of reasons, and a few readers said they didn’t read roundup at all but preferred some of the other articles like QRIMOLE, music theory posts, Nugu Alert, etc. A bit of feedback that came through here that I’d like to address:
I want to see what he thinks about my favorites also being honest and not sucking up groups or something also I hate that AI pfp please change
It’s not AI! There is no AI in any Kpopalypse content (except sometimes to troll you, but even then it’s clearly stated). The pfp is the cover of the Kpopalypse book “Love Light“, and like all Kpopalypse book covers it was drawn by Caius Augustus, my very talented book cover artist! You can watch a stop-motion that shows exactly how he works here:
It’s not Caius’ fault that he’s one of the top-tier photorealistic artists out there that all the shitty AI programs have plagiarised!
Question 12: Here’s a picture of me in Asian Junkie’s comments section, being a cunt to Asian Junkie as usual.
Should I stop giving Asian Junkie shit?
Of course not. Only a minority wanted more sport articles which is just as well as I really wouldn’t know what to write. Because I don’t know anything about sport, I generally don’t write about it. Imagine how different the world would be if the people who didn’t know about music, also didn’t write about it… not referring to anybody in particular here of course…
Question 13: Do you watch Kpopalypse livestreams?
I actually already knew the answer to this one, as my stream viewcount spikes wildly at the end of each year when I do special end of year list streams. The vast majority of readers don’t watch the streams much, or at all, which is fine. I do the streams mainly to give the people who are really really into what I do the extra insight into my thought processes and the opportunity to interact with me and have a parasocial Internet friend if they choose. Of course the rest of you are all welcome!
Question 14: This is a book excerpt from an unknown self-published romance novel.
What should Caitlin write on Hana’s thigh to show her true love?
The next few are questions about the books. Stay-C won the all-important fictional lesbians from Kpopalypse books cheesy thigh scribble challenge! Congratulations Stay-C, a career achievement they can truly be proud of!
Question 15: How far have you read through my crappy books?
The books are “bonus content” for people who enjoy my fiction writing, and also to please the people who have been asking me for nearly a decade to do some kind of physical merch, so its unsurprising that most readers don’t have them. Hopefully those who are reading through them are enjoying them! As for the rest of you don’t worry I’ll keep being a cunt on this website long into the future!
Question 16: Favourite female idol/wannabe idol/musician character in the books so far?
The pie chart is a bit unreadable for this one, so I’ll just list the female characters in order of popularity from most popular to least here:
Hana
Shu
Caitlin
Iseul
Youngsook
Nari
Ora
Gyeongja
Ijun
Astrid
Sumire
Haneul
Amna
Sooae
Of course the characters who only appear in later books were at a disadvantage here, as quite a few caonimas haven’t gotten far enough into the books to read their sections yet.
Question 17: Here is my cat with her new cat tree. She clawed the old one to death so we got her this new mega big one that will hopefully last at least a week.
Please note that you have now observed the cat tree.
Thank you to all surveydoers for observing the cat tree!
Question 18: It’s said that there’s a large gender divide these days among young people. How divided do you feel as a young person today?
Once again tackling the big issues here at Kpopalypse.com, and most people who were young enough to give a fuck about the question did actually prefer gender equality, but if there is a gender gap, it’s totally because they stan the wrong k-pop bias.
Question 19: Describe the ideal face/body/appearance type that you are attracted to in males, females, or any others. You can skip this question if you’re not attracted to anyone, or are too shy to reveal such things in a crappy survey like this one.
I wanted to see how varied sexual tastes of caonimas were. As it happens, quite a lot! To show the incredible diversity of sexual tastes, I will now dump ALL of the responses to this question below!
| I’m almost 30 so I’m at the stage where I’m into both pretty boys (Timothﾃｩe Chalamet & cie) AND pure masculine daddy energy (hello Oscar Isaac). Purely physical appearance thought, my weaknesses: – tall men – dark hair/light eyes – hunter eyes – large shoulders |
| Will you merge these answers and put results into AI image generation to get perfect person? )) Anyway, I’m bad at descriptions, so Dreamcatcher JiU. |
| Cute hamster face or sexy cat face, wide shoulders, big tits, hips wider than waist, willing to suck me off, but these are just ideals, I’d date a horrid dog face with narrow shoulders, small tits, fat waist, unwilling to suck me off |
| I like chubby people |
| Eunha with glasses |
| I・€・m into girls ears. So Sakura ears, Xinyu (triples) face and wendy body. |
| Well, considering how our interactions mostly involve me thirsting after Ten, I guess there・€・s your answer. I like the fact that he doesn・€・t really have abs. I like his arms and shoulders, which he shows off quite a bit. I like the fact that he・€・s relatively close to my height. I also like to think that him and I would be versatile in bed. Why be so rigid on top/bottom? This is gay sex, you can enjoy both! I like Zhang Hao not just for face but also for the fact that he wears shorts a lot, so I can fantasize about kissing my way up him. Juyeon・€・s arms and armpits are iconic for a reason, I would love to plant my face into those. |
| IU |
| face |
| Just search “Milo Ventimiglia” (with beard) or “The Gay Gaston”, there’s my type |
| I love thick eyebrows for some reason. |
| for both girls and guys.. face: dark hair, dark eyes, long hair (preferably wavy). I prefer tanner skin. body: average, thin, muscular |
| Eunha I guess, just a few days ago I noticed the resemblance between her and my ex gf, basically Balkanian Eunha lol. Other than that, androgynous women, and Yves. As for bodies, a little bit of meat will never be wrong to me |
| Shindong |
| TXT’s Beomgyu |
| StayC Isa |
| Face, aesthetic, style, bomb, ass |
| males – i have a crush on a guy who has a really symmetrical and kinda derpy looking face but he has an amazing smile. also like an in-proportion nose. im not rly picky about body type i feel like i am attracted to muscular/twink/bear guys but i dont rly like guys who are very obese. i feel like i am more into the personality – they can’t be vapid/ignorant |
| the one who dare to show their “ugly” state |
| tall men and chubby/curvy women, both with thick eyebrows and dark eyes. i like women with big mouths/smiles a lot, think anne hathaway. my boyfriend・€・s the most gorgeous man on earth as far as i・€・m concerned. |
| Catlike face in females |
| Hmm…I like faces with character, unique faces. Which is why I don’t like kpop men |
| Felix |
| I like slim long haired men, and exaggerated hourglass women. Kpop gives me neither why the hell am I here. |
| Healthy, nice tits, good smile |
I like a man with big features- big lips, big eyes, big nose, big ears. Super small and cute, or at least with a soft but built body. Women I like small girls with big boobs  |
| Whatever is different from the rest. If you consider kpop faces like the top everybody is aspiring to, at some point you get dulled by more or less the same artificial look. So now I like more people who have odd noses, asymetric eyes, weird dumbo ears, etc. Perfection is pretty but dull and boring. |
| Diamond shaped face, wide eyes, large space occupied by mouth, average build |
| I like guys with a ‘strong’ build and I wish more kpop guys looked like wonho instead of being emaciated. |
| I really like cuteness like cute smiles or cute eyes hehe |
| Really attracted to forearms. Dont know what context to give. I am just heavily aware of forearms and feel like just touching one of them. Doesnt matter if they are hairy or not. I am already fantasizing right now. may not finish survey. |
| wamen…….. |
| Kazuha’s face with Sohee’s body. |
| Miyoen’s face on Jihyo’s body |
| Big butts |
| idk under eye moles are cute |
| I am an anomaly among heterosexual men: I prefer women with pretty faces and feminine bodies. Study me. |
| Men who are not concerned with showing/telling everyone that they are indeed a man. Fit women. Obvious nose-surgery and filler-filled lips are a turnoff. Others idk. |
| Skinny, not too big boobs (it’s classier), not too round face, sharp features |
| shaggy haired skinny white guys with glasses |
| yes |
| I was about to quote some rap song that was like “[body part] like [celebrity] / [body part] like [other celebrity]” but now I can’t remember how it goes, how sad. Anyone remember this lyric? It might have been a misremembering of “last name ever / first name greatest” from Drake ‘Forever’ though. And by admitting I remember that song, I’ve torpedoed my credibility about women. Oh well, the question: strong thin nose, round face, big eyes, thick yet kempt eyebrows, thick hair. I guess. |
| Le sserafim Yunjin |
| big tits fat ass (im bisexual) |
| People that look exactly like me but taller. Or redheads. |
| boob |
| I・€・m straight, so for me: Face: masculine, but not afraid of being cute Body: bulky, but not too bulky like body-builder (e.g. Chris Evans > Arnold Schwarzenegger) Appearances: Duality, e.g. Looks fierce but actually shy |
| Right now I have trouble watching Yves・€・ vlog cos she・€・s so pretty. This is a new thing, and may be related to the migraine episode I mentioned above |
| hwasa. |
| swan from purple kiss |
| I’m not very picky honestly. Every girl that I’m very attracted too has this kind of otherworldly energy that’s hard to describe exactly. My first fictional crush was Rosalina from Mario galaxy so think of that what you will. In terms of bodies I have a thing for long spidery hands, especially with long nails. Which is kind of a cruel fate to bestow upon a dyke of my standing but we move. I fucking love a woman’s hips it drives me crazy I think hip dips are really hot I don’t know why people are trying to make that an insecurity. when it comes to boobs it’s not about the size of the boobs it’s about the quality of the boobs. Breast implants are a big turn off for me so some or even quite a bit of sag is good. the problem comes when their nipples are pointing straight at the floor. in other words the boobs of the majority of the boob having population are more then good enough for me. Lucky me! I find facial attractiveness difficult to articulate because everyone’s face is so different. That’s the cool part, actually. Also whoever decided that big noses are ugly can fucking blow me. it’s more about the suitability of the shape on your face than the actual size. that applies to all facial features actually. Anyways in conclusion women big sexy. |
| It’s a toss-up between Dami and SuA of Dreamcatcher, which is weird because they are quite different in physique. If I were to create the Frankenwoman of my dreams it’d be Dami’s personality (coolness + aegyo) + abs combined with SuA’s face, boobs, and ass. And with the voice of IU. |
| East Asian women with long black hair; round face, plump lips, with nose and overall features having some character and uniquness; curvy/chubby body with massive saggy boobs and huge areolas; hairy pussy with big meaty inner pussy lips. |
| I like men like I like book, FICTIONAL |
| Short hair women |
| Guys with pretty eyes. |
| Chaeryeong. |
| momo |
| Park Jin-young (JYP) |
| HUGE MUSCULAR EXPLODING OUT OF PANTS HUMONGOUS MALE ASS AND THIGHS |
| Bro how do you expect me to put this into a small box (nice smile, mid to long hair, at least somewhat physically active, clean) |
| Uhh I’m more about the vibe than anything concrete or specific. |
| Vivi from Loona. |
| Tall and lean |
| I’m attracted to almost all body type except my own. I hate myself lol |
| Guys with longer faces/ are kind of ugly but attractive, height and body type doesnt really matter, prefer nerdy type |
| Sharp jawlines and C U R V E S. Curvy biceps, curvy hips, curvy waist. Hard angles and soft angles jammed together. |
| In K-pop, Puer Kim (body)/Wheein (face) is the cloesest I’ve ever seen to ideal. No interest in males. |
| The earth is too dead to be attracted to people |
| big eyes n thighs |
| I like boobs. All of them, size doesn’t matter. |
| Kpopalypse Oppar! |
| No specific type, but having both a face and a body is a good start. There are a number of traits that I find attractive without attracting me to the person who posesses them (Kate Moss’ eyes, Halle Berry’s boobs, Lee Soo-Hyuk’s nose etc.). |
| brunettes with fair skin |
| Eunha — need I say more? |
| idk. personality matters |
| Female, mid to late 20s, thin or athletic, perky tits, long hair. Basically a pop star at the end of her “career” |
| People who are either way shorter than me or a lot taller than me. Big noses. They better smell like weed. |
| Big black eyes |
| Skinny, hairy nerd boys |
| idk i like girls with cringey interests because it makes me feel better about the things i like. this is not a good thing and i have only realized i do this for that reason recently. I dont really care about looks tbh as long as they are not revolting, though i have a habit of liking girls with a weak jawline for some reason. yunjin is the idol who is most my type |
| Ass and Tits. But males. |
| I like blond hair. My friend described them once as having gay face (I’m bisexual), and another friend said they have a weasel-like face. They should have a thin face. The women I’m attracted to seemingly every lesbian is into as well. |
| I grew fond of YEL from H1-Key lately, but all of them look very beautiful tbh. They look healthier than most idols out there and are tall, which is nice. Same goes for Suyun from Rocket Punch. Both have a lovely smile. |
| Kind-looking faces, I like the bear kind of person (someone like Kai or Seulgi, lets’ say) |
| asexual |
| big |
| i rate everyone based on the base unit of measurement i call the taeyeoniuluda, everyone is assigned a % of taeyeoniuluda based on how much they remind me of one of taeyeon, iu, or luda (e.g. winter is 99% taeyeoniuluda・€・i am very attracted to her) |
| very pretty boys |
| Males if they have a big bulge– I mean heart. Females if they have Karina level face and body and talent ofc. |
| Submissive doe eyes. Strong knees because he’ll be kneeling down to beg a lot. |
| Feminine ethereal elven faces on men, Karlach on women |
| NE Indian bird, little fat as reasonable and at least a 1 plate bench. |
| Women with big tits and asses, Also a little chub never hurt. |
| Jennie, and all copies |
| Has a least one of each of the facial features Taeyang sings about and smiles when they look at me. |
| I like women who look mysterious and sickly and do drugs and look mentally fucked up just like me. I like women who look like they have a lot of pent up rage against society and culture. I also like when they’re TALL because I’m a womanlet and I want to be princess carried. I like women who look like they could kick your ass BUT I also like women who look unable to hurt even a fly because I’m like that too and I think that’s hot tbh. Basically I like women who look the total opposite of kpop’s ideal of female beauty, which is why I never really feel attracted to kpop idols despite being a lesbian. Everybody in kpop looks too fake and too perfect and that’s just unsexy. |
| Karina would probably check all the boxes |
| pretty |
| Face that seems manly |
| i like females that look like contrapoints and i like males that are not real (2D or CGI) |
| idk man i guess delicate faces, in men or women. for women i like black hair, short in hair and in stature. boobs and ass are nice but any type are okay. in men whetever height is fine, long hair or bald is okay. big no for influencer beards. has to look a little quirky in general. i tend to like glasses in any gender. this is kinda of an impossible thing to describe, but there i tried, just for you oppar |
| Kim Chaewon. But i’m not against a meatier girlfriend because as a Kpopalypse reader I am a very refined man with very great tastes that can thus actually enjoy several female body types without being obsessive about one in particular. Why only like vanilla if you can also enjoy strawberry ? Still, I admit that I like my k-pop undernourished. |
| dunno people suck |
| furries and/or choi si-won |
| I like men with strong jawlines and long faces with dark hair and eyes, preferably nerdy looking (also really like teeth “flaws” like gaps or gummy smiles), anywhere from lanky to mild dad bod. I prefer clean-shaven, then mustache, then beard. I like women who have short blonde hair with nice thighs who look like they will be mean to me. |
| Boys: twink/androgynous, short, lean muscular Girls: sexy-cute, thick thighs, big boobs nice but not required |
| Men- Tall, kinda muscular, ass, could choke me Females- Boobs, musuclar, ass, could choke me |
| This may sound cliche but I actually haven’t noticed the appearance of the last few people I really liked, I liked their personality first and then as I knew them more I began to like more of their features as a result of those features belonging to that person (if that makes sense). In terms of celebrities, I like cute girls and/or androgynous girls. |
| I am attracted to fit and slim women (similar build to mine) and longer faces rather than short/round. im woman btw |
| Tastefully fat dudes and women that are pretty in the face |
| i need him to be me but better in all the aspects im lacking in |
| step 1: be hot. step 2: repeat step 1 |
| for white boys i am unfortunately almost exclusively attracted to twinks. for asian boys i generally prefer rounder faces (txt soobin/enhypen sunoo/tbz new). for any other boys i don’t really have a type. for girls i don’t really have a type but almost every white girl i’ve crushed on has been blonde |
| Silky black hair with floppy bangs, glasses, large lips, cute moles on face, taller than me, adorable smile. |
| glasses |
| OKAY IN AN IDEAL WORLD I HAVE TWO IDEAL TYPES FOR MEN. 1. Much shorter than me (I・€・m 179cm for context), LOOKS LIKE A MALE LIZ, dimples, does NOT play league of legends or valorant, puppy-like personality, not much muscle 2. MUCH TALLER THAN ME, built body, good financial stability, no facial hair, huge nose (extra points if he gets mad at Kpopalypse in tiktok comment sections about sexualizing idols but then follows 500 only fans models on Instagram while being in a relationship and says it・€・s a natural desire even after establishing the boundaries that I feel uncomfortable with him doing that・・・・・・・・) |
| Zoa from Weeekly… basically everything she is/has physically. I’m a simp |
| Muscles. All of them. I was going to start listing them, but it got a bit silly. Preferably muscles that are not on anorexic/underweight/very concerning bodies. I can live with the rest. |
| height is a big plus. I like funny teeth too (yes life’s been tough as a twice fan) |
| I like bitchy women that looks sweet |
| I don・€・t really think about it much, but in an ideal scenario: a girl that・€・s taller than me, dark or dyed hair and a nice or decent body. |
| I have a guy friend who has really cute/pretty facial features; chubby cheeks, freckles, sharp nose, full lips, beautiful bright smile… I’ve always found him to be very attractive face-wise, but a while back we hung out with some other friends, and our gym-bro girl friend showed off her muscles, and they were very impressive, until my guy friend rolled up his sleeves and flexed his biceps… out of all the people I personally know, I was not expecting him to have the biggest biceps. I swooned a little, it was very hot. I asked him if I could touch them and they were so firm and beautiful and amazing. He then told me that during the time that he actually worked out regularly, he had a very visible six-pack but he has since lost it. I am secretly begging him (in my mind) to start exercising again so I can drool over his abs in a totally straight heterosexual dude bro way. Yeah, that’s my type. Guy with a pretty face but big fucking muscles. The only downside that my friend has is that he is ginger and also an alcoholic, but no one’s perfect. |
| I am gay, so I like big bear types in men. That doesn’t stop me from wanting Wonho’s chest on my face. |
| sorn from clc her face is weird and it intrigues me |
| baekhyun |
| Choi Sooyoung ・・・・ｸ・ |
| Scary women |
| idrc as long as those bitches can actually fucking sing・・・・ |
| I have lots of types and am continually finding new ones. Generally: slim/toned/average build, around my height or a little taller (5’5”-5’9”), blond curly hair or red hair in women, straight blond hair/anemic skin tone in men, or dark curly hair in guys with interesting eye color/dark skin, messy curly hair in everyone, nice shaped bodies are good but don’t really matter that much, a sense of michievousness/whimsy, not-gender-normative (i.e. not manly men or girly girl looks for the most part unless their personality seems different) |
| Either average or insanely cute men |
| Yes |
| My taste in men fluctuates so much and is so inconsistent I don’t think I can answer this question properly so I’ll just say: “men” |
| Cute, smol and preferably but not necessarily athletic girls. Nagisa Mitsuki, Umi Yatsugake, Kazuha, Alexa, @jiyounglifts |
| this is clichﾃｩ but a nice smile |
| BAEKHYUN |
| Handsome |
| fit, funny, idk i・€・m in highschool |
| A nice smile. Im a sucker for that stuff. Boobs are nice too |
| dykey |
| Legit, I don’t care one bit about the body as long as I like the face. If the face is alright, chances are I like the body as well, thinner or thicker. For faces, I can’t see faces like people who say shit like “Damn that nose is too big, the eyes are too far apart”, I don’t notice features like that. I see the face as a whole and my brain likes or doesn’t. |
| strong + nourished bodies that aren’t anorexic (so basically no one in kpop), also grown ass adults who look like adults, himbos and goofy people. also moonbyul |
| Bibi i’d like to fuck |
| Anime titties |
| I like cute people uwu. |
| A little meaty |
| Big nose but not Bang Chan because he’s gross |
| THEIR EYESSS – this is a bit ironic though because I really hate making eye contact with people when I’m talking to them or they’re talking to me *insert awkward laughter* |
| Mainly female (as a female). Great smile, usually dark hair, dark eyes, long elegant fingers, good amount of lips, long silky hair, (shamefully) a nipped-in waist…dang I actually value personality wayyyy more lol |
| muscle |
| jeongyeon |
| Cute faces, basically |
| in women, i like someone who is stronger and taller than me. could pin me against a wall type shit. the girls that work in muscle girl bars in japan ? that type. in men i like long hair and softness, not super muscley. idk why i have a difference depending on gender. i’m attracted to androgynous people but i think it’s more in a ‘i want to look like you’ way. seething with jealousy etc |
| Eunha |
| Dimples, eye-smile, nice coloured eyes, gummy smile |
| I think nobody is worthy of attraction at this point and that we should all die because why are we unable to formulate more salient and useful statements in this world outside of objectification? I don・€・t think anybody on this earth should live and o think that all the nuclear devices should be activated at once. Pecs and upper body and legs. |
| Females that are cute but unique looking like Umji, Jennie, Yeji Makes that look dark and dull like GOT7 Yugyeom |
| came to a conclusion about a month ago that like whatever features gets someone a fox assignment thats what i like. fox looking men. some degree of arm muscle and stomach muscle is like ・・・ｯ too. um thats all. i think. |
| lean body |
| As a gay male, I’m either into pretty boys who are much shorter/skinnier than me or guys who look like they could destroy me. Nothing in-between. |
| Tall enough to play in the NBA but too skinny to survive it |
| slutty men and dominant women |
| JEONG JAEHYUN. JAEHYUN FROM NCT. JEONG YUNO. |
| When idols actually look like bottoms. There’s no way your bias is a top the way the industry ass-fucks them daily. |
boobies  |
| i like bears |
| Everyone i like looks different idk |
| courtney eaton |
| i think certain twinks are very attractive but i also think that if i got hit on by a fat hairy man i’s get a hard-on so fast i’d die instantly |
| Men: feminine Women: masculine |
| Skinny, long haired females with small boobs |
| No fat like Jeongyeon or however you spell her name |
| long features, sadly i am a sucker for those lanky noodle phenotypes. Idgaf abt gender. |
| I tend to like humans with decent hygiene who don’t smile much. (I hate forced smiling.) I tend to like slightly off-kilter appearance, interesting eyes, and deeper voices (for both males and females.) I dislike super bulky muscles on males (I’ll make a begrudging exception for Wonho, but he was much more attractive to me in earlier years with Monsta X when he was less bulky) and don’t care for full beards, but I love full lips and pretty eyes. For females, I like a serious attitude and either some muscle or some meat on their bones. I like glasses on almost everyone. Intelligence and sense of humor are more important to me than looks, as long as they aren’t sexist/racist/hypercapitalist/etc. |
| i like dark brown eyes |
| Wonyoung, Kwon Eunbi, Karina, Yujin |
| anyone who looks like sana (nayoung from that dream academy show kinda looks like her) |
| Full lips. |
| I don’t know why I find this such a funny question. I’m just imagining there being a very wide diversity in answers which would be really fascinating to see. Okay real talk, as a heterosexual female, I like guys with dark hair and dark eyes. I don’t like it when a guy is too muscular because I might get crushed, lol no Wonho for me. I’m 5 ft tall (sorry I’m an American that’s like 152 cm), so height isn’t a huge factor. Their personality plays a big part in how I perceive their appearance, so I can’t say too much more than that. I do like smiles |
| Boobs that fit nicely in my hands, squishy butt, hyeju (loossemble)-style thighs, long brown hair and brown eyes OR short brown hair + brown eyes + glasses. Height similar to my own within a few inches so that we can kiss standing up and it isn・€・t uncomfortable. |
| Face: Female – Sunmi (ex-Wonder Girls)/ Male – D.O. (EXO) Body: Female – Kyla (ex-Pristin) / Male – Wonho (ex-Monsta X) Appearance: Female – IU / Male – Hyunsik (BTOB) |
| High cheekbones, not a fat slag, eyes that smile |
| Ricky from zb1 |
| men have to have big tits and big thighs and look like mingyu but fuck mingyu bc he’s too mainstream nowadays and i failed at gate-keeping him. i also like 9muses hyuna |
| face like juyeon body like sangyeon appearance like exy |
| hot and sexy. what do you want from me |
| An Yujin |
| Everything that looks either like moonbyul or like a rodent or both |
| Nice jawline and teeth. |
| I feel like I don’t have a type for anything anymore. So random. |
| when a friend asked me this the last time, i ended up becoming interested in a dweeb who didn’t have a single trait i described so what do i know |
| I am most attracted to my girlfriend, so I will describe her: She is a bit smaller than me (about 1,70m), quite slender (maybe even skinny), very fair skin, has shoulder long, straight black hair, dark eyes with monolids, she has a round face with rather puffy looking cheeks, a cute double chin when she laughs, she actually has slight Genu valgum (the knees are bent inward a tiny bit, but it’s not medically relevant), and I could not love her any more |
| Tim from tim and moby |
| either big ass titties like eunbi or smol cuties like mina depending on the mood |
| in men, im basic and go for the tall skinny guys with long and maybe curly/wavy hair (color doesn’t matter, fuck gingers though). face wise, not ugly is good ・・・・・・・ï½» |
| I like kpop boys with baby faces with a some buccal fat in their cheeks. Also don’t mind a defined jawline from the associates at Gangnam. |
| big tiddies on men and women also i like when people look mean but act soft |
| I like to see imperfections on a face like a not button nose, or thin lips, or crooked / bunny teeth, etc |
| Jaehyo, naturally. |
| I just like tall people |
| I like big boys, itty bitty boys Mississippi boys, inner city boys I like the pretty boys with the bow tie Get your nails did, let it blow dry I like a big beard, I like a clean face I don’t discriminate, come and get a taste From the playboys to the gay boys Go and slay, boys, you my fave boys |
| Both from the 90’s, either Gillian Anderson from X-Files or Minako from the Jpop group MAX |
| Closer to 30, male, body hair, big ass |
| I like women who have severe case of gay face |
| Clear skin, sharp jawline, big eyes, long eyelashes, slender/lean, thick hair. Women + twinks preferred |
| Hot |
| I used to be into big muscly guys but now I have two boyfriends that are both big boys builders and I love them but it’s hard, they’re so massive and there bodies are uncomfortably rugged. If we break up I will go back to twinks (tho twinks don’t normally go for other twinks) |
| big booty and thicc thighs everyday all day |
| i like woman like mother like pussy popping kinda woman |
| big heart |
| Brooding long-haired men |
| Anyone in kiss of life, gidle, or aespa. |
| Clear skin, no chest or facial hair. I like muscles, but don・€・t like skinny. You |
| ・・・ï½・・・ï½・・・ï½・・・ï½・・・ï½・・・ï½・・・ï½ |
| BLAHHH |
| A large collection of negatively geared investment properties |
| Ideal guy to me is cute to a certain point, but it’s hard to define because the only thing I actually care is being a bottom and not a shitty person |
| Puer Kim, nuff said |
| I’m a femdom so I like twinks. Sorry Wonho. Your ass is great, though |
| I am a wlw and I・€・m attracted to masculine-looking women but not in a way that makes them look like they are trying too hard with it if that makes sense ・€ï½¦ In Kpop examples possibly the likes of Moonbyul leans trying too hard for me. Meanwhile Soyoon or what・€・s her name from Dreamcatcher seems more casually & naturally leaning into their masculine side and that・€・s attractive. Totally subjective opinion. |
| Muscled (men and women). Of course women should NOT have big breasts (as a breast haver, the smaller the easier, big ones just look like pain and weight) |
| Elven royalty |
| shuichi saihara *drooling face emoji* |
| A man with a dopey face and a six pack. |
| An Yujin |
Question 20: Here’s TMC’s pre-debut song.
What’s the best point dance in this song?
Still on the sexuality questions and here’s how caonimas perceived TMC’s BGP-friendly point dances!
Question 21: Now that Jennie has broken up with whatshisname, who is she dating?
Clearly I need to make a statement so here it is. I would just like to confirm that the rumours that I have gotten back together with Jennie are false. Kpopalypse.com asks people to please stop speculation and spreading misinformation, thank you.
Question 22: Do you like coriander?
Everyone always asks for no coriander at my favourite banh mi place, to the point where the staff will always ask you if you want it or not. I guess most of those people don’t do surveys at Kpopalypse.com.
Question 23: On a scale between 1 and 10, how likely would you recommend kpopalypse.com to a friend or colleague?
That’s actually a pretty shit net promoter score, given than anything below 8 in these things is basically a failure. Clearly I need to reflect and return with better postings to make you recommend the site more. It’s probably because I haven’t done a boobs post in a few years.
Question 24: If you’ve actually bothered to read the comments on the “Kpopalypse Hot Takes” Tiktok lately, what’s the funniest thing about them?
Lissa Caonima’s excellent “Kpopalypse Hot Takes” TikTok account that posts out-of-context roundup reviews and other material continues to be the gift that keeps on giving k-pop fans a hard time. I hope the 0.1% of TikTok readers who eventually find their way to this website because they liked the Tiktoks are enjoying the content here in its full cunty context!
Question 25: This cat picture was in the survey a year ago but I just thought I’d leave it here so you can look at it again.
Kpopalypse readers observed the cat once again.
Question 26: Which Kpopalypse “JAV Of The Month” did you enjoy the most over the last six months? Note that there are more selections than usual because I nominated one extra JAV for each crappy non-question submitted in QRIMOLE.
Another question where the pie-chart doesn’t really work so here’s the JAVs listed from least popular to most. For those of you who don’t like the JAV recs I’m sorry that there’s so many but hopefully that’ll teach people to ask better quality QRIMOLE questions!
[SSIS-865] The wife of the president, who used to be an admired beauty, is now repaying her husband’s debt with her body as a widow.
[SONE-012] Turned into a Lewd Maid Aroused by Titty-Fucking: Divine J-cup Sister
[FAZM-010] All Participants Achieve Creampie Success [6P Orgy SEX] Super Slut Anything Goes Personality, Exceptionally Angelic Cosplayer Who Engages in Wild Anal Sex and Three Other Specials
[MISM-285] The most insane hospitality: Three-star anal companion.
[STARS-953] When I Reincarnated into Another World, I Became an Busty Recovery Sorcerer and Embarked on an Adventure, Filled with Lots of Sex
[STARS-935] At the off-party where sex-loving promiscuous men and women gather, they have orgy sex until morning!
[MIMK-143] The Quiet, Plain-Looking Girl is Surprisingly a Slut – A Story of Being Drained Dry by My Busty Girlfriend
[FSDSS-687] Even Restraints Can’t Break the Will of This Strong-Willed Agent – Fukada Eimi Climaxes Repeatedly from Creampie but Her Heart Remains Undefeated
[DASS-272] What!? This wasn’t part of the plan! Used as a cum dumpster until sunrise, astonishing creampie with 35 shots! Guaranteed pregnancy
[AEGE-018] Training a sadistic man into a masochistic man. The skilled Hatano Yui who can tame any man.
[BDA-187] Walpurgis Prisoner: Devil’s Crucifixion 
Layer Bondage Lifted 9
[SDDE-565] The Walls! The Desks! The Chairs! There Are Cocks Popping Out From Everywhere At This Popular Company! Welcome To “Suck It All, Inc.” And Enjoy A Dick While You’re At It Too!
Question 27: Are you enjoying weekly Asian non-Korean non-pop non-world-music features in roundup?
Glad that many of you are discovering new music through the random Asian-but-not-Korean not-pop not-world-music feature in roundup this year!
Question 28: How shit are the reviews in Roundup? Should I change shittiness levels?
Roundup is shit enough according to most people, but for those who feel like it isn’t, they mainly want it to be even more shit! I’ll see what I can do…
Question 29: Thank you for doing the survey! If you have any feedback for Kpopalypse, or anything else you’d like to say, please put it here. This question is optional.
Some selected responses and my replies:
I’ve been visiting your site for at least 12 years so thank you and keep up the good work!! Also, one day I will purchase yr books
Thanks for reading! There’s quite a few veteran readers out there, I appreciate you sticking with me, especially as for a lot of you I know the interest in k-pop in general has faded!
Thanks for making my day, really enjoyed your books, and may you become rich!
Working on it! Not doing that well at it at the moment tbh…
Genuine question, what do you actually do for a living (I don’t mean it in a hurtful way)?
Answer is in the FAQ!
without like putting much more time in (because I know the toll it takes to listen to every single thing that industry puts out), I think it would be fun to read a review of yours on a couple of kpop albums from years past, critically acclaimed or obscure, maybe you’d dig some of those
Album reviews get asked for a lot. Maybe one day, but I generally try not to because almost all k-pop albums are trash for exactly the same reasons. I’ll think about this some more.
Drop more music theory posts and trufax pleaasee
I hope you enjoyed the most recent music theory post about microphones! There’ll be trufax posts coming soon…
watch “Blixa Bargeld music clips” on YouTube it’s really funny
I assume you mean this video:
I checked it out. I like Blixa’s dry sense of humour! He doesn’t take life too seriously, which I think is a good thing, especially in the absurdity of fame.
i don’t watch your livestreams because when i see your face i get intrusive thoughts that make me want to lick your bald head, only to see how it tastes like
I’d lick my own head so I could tell you, but my tongue doesn’t reach. You could ask my cat.
Will you review the last part of Yua Mikami’s acting career?
Yes but I’ve been putting it off until I find out how long Moko Sakura is going to make videos for. I’m trying to avoid a situation where just after the post, Moko releases one or two more videos and then quits. I want her to either quit as well before I make it so I can do the ultimate wrap-up, OR, for her to keep going forever and have a long-ass career so I can do a few more big posts of just Moko. Actually I hope she does keep going because she looks way better to me these days than back when she started.
I like the tidbits of music history that you put here and there SOOO MUCH and since disco (under the guise of “city pop”) is kind of everywhere, can you tell me about the anti-disco movement in the 1970s and why it happened?
Thank you Oppa! Have a good day!
The anti-disco movement happened because disco was absolutely fucking everywhere in the late 70s and people just got sick of it. Even bands that were not normally known for a disco sound were flirting with it (classic examples: Kiss, Queen, Blondie) and there was mega oversaturation on radio etc. When any music movement gets huge to the point where it takes over everything you can always guarantee a backlash.
Dear Kpopalypse, your pro-NATO-ness levels have been rising lately, and clashing with your (generally mild) anti-US-ness. Please, reflect. Are you against all wars, or just some of them? You can’t even troll Asianjunkie properly, but you claim you know politics just because you listen to some propaganda. Don’t confuse your readers, listen to the popular advice for novice writers, and write about what you know – music and show business.
I’m sorry that my political views dissapoint you. Although I don’t really like countries invading other countries for no good reason (such as the US into Iraq, or Russia into Ukraine), I’ll change to a more pro-invasion pro-colonisation stance for ten Madagascar politician’s worth of bribes, how about it? I’ve got a Ko-fi, you know what to do. Tick tock, time to donate…
Got no friends and my collegues wouldn’t appreciate ya. We need more pics with cat on cat tree doing cat things.
It took her a few days to get used to it, but it’s now her favourite place to chill in the lounge room and just laze around. Cats like being up on high things, but our previous cat tree didn’t have enough room at the top for her to get comfortable, because I bought it back when I had cats that weren’t the size of a small mountain lion. This new cat tree meets required standards.
YOU STREAM??? When and where, bro?
See here for streaming info!
The drummer of the Singaporean band you posted was an old friend of my dad’s. It was unreal seeing someone I’ve met a handful of times on a Kpopalypse roundup.
That’s awesome! Let him know that his drumming is ace.
kudos to you, man. you sprinkle some life and critical thinking into the brain-dead illiterate landscape that is today’s kpop stan culture. i don’t agree with you all the time because suprise suprise, i am a tax paying adult capable of thinking and judging for myself, but i still appreciate the honesty and your sense of humour.
further, i think your content is very versatile and one can learn a lot, not just about music, but about other things as well. if others can’t see that because their vision is too blurry crying for their oppars non stop, well that’s their loss.
NUGU ALERT IS SUPERIOR, YOU UNEDUCATED PEANUTS! SO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT.
hope your cat, your gf and you have a bloody brilliant year. untill next time, oppar!
Thank you for reading!
I assigned one of your blog posts (the dogwhistle one) to my students, not to be funny or edgy but because you do have legitimately good media analysis and literacy to distinguish between the amount of everyday bullshit. It would be nice if you did an updated version of the post with more recent examples, just to piss off newer kpop fans lol
I agree that a few of the more relevant older posts should get updates, I’m thinking about how I can do this in an interesting way that isn’t repetitive and just rehashing the old post with no variation. I want to give older readers who are already familiar with the old posts a reason to read the new one.
i enjoyed reading the JAV titles very much thank you
I actually love JAV titles, I just love the way they go all-out to sell the film (which 9 times out of 10 sadly doesn’t live up to the hype of the title). Western porn titles are boring, it’s all stuff like “Edward Penishands” or “Sperm Gulpers 26”. The JAV world is just so much more creative. I was very sad when I realised that the JAV titles Twitter account stopped posting (probably for the same reason that my Chuu bot also did – Elon paywalled API access instead of stanning Gowon).
You might not care but I figured you should know that I stopped giving you money on Patreon just cause I’d been doing it for years and years and figured I’d given you enough at this point! That’s it.
This is totally fine, thank you for your donations over the years! Everyone who donates or has donated has made a big difference to this site, whether they know it or not.
People might think I mention donations occasionally to get you all to donate, but I actually do it to remind people that donations exist. My income from donations dips every time I talk about them. Rather than inspiring new people to donate, it tends to instead have the effect of reminding older readers with active donations that they are still donating, and then they often go and cancel their old donations that they forgot about!
just wanna say I can’t wait to read the Shin Hana books as soon as I’m done with my college entrance exams this june!!! cheers
Good luck in your exams!
I’ve discovered so many good songs through this blog (Yedd, Uza, etc) it’s unreal. Thank you so much my dude
You’re welcome!
I frequently visit the Kpopalypse Hot Takes comment section and I always leave annoyed. This is what I imagine it feels like to be someone who comes to this website knowing what I find will just piss me off and yet I continue coming back for a moment of self-induced rage. Will reflect and report back.
Yes that comments section is a very strange place. Mind you to be fair, I’d be pretty confused if I encountered this site’s content out of context too. So I get some of the confusion. I hope that some of them investigate the site further.
Couple years ago I was in a foul mood and complained about it during QRIMOLE. You then recorded a video of Stiglitz reacting to Twice – what is love, I would love to make sure you know that was very thoughtful of you and that my mood definitely improved for the better (I still occasionally think about it even 4 years later)
Glad I could help!
There’s no West Africa in the survey so I had to pick none of your business. No recognition for West Africans???!
I’m sorry about that. Hey since you’re in the area, can you go over to Western Sahara for me (not the Morocco controlled bits, but the rebel-held bits please) and visit my site from there just once so I can fill in my site map as per this post? It would be appreciated, thank you!
Thanks for all the entertaining content. I really appreciate your sense of humor, and your site continues to be one of only a tiny number of places I visit for K-Pop content. (Generally, it’s you, The Bias List, and DareDB’s YouTube content. Everyone else sends me too far into the irritation zone to be enjoyable.)
Thanks for visiting!
Thank you so much for doing all your posts. I have been a quiet follower for a while. I am waiting for the day that I actually have income, so I can donate to your Patreon, or the new alternative I guess, but considering the fact that I have 3 more years of medical school and at least 3 years of residency/fellowship, I don’t know if I will be financially stable enough to do so while you are still writing on this blog. Sending my non-monetary support from a state in the US you don’t care about!
Sincerely,
Studious in Suburbia
That’s okay! Once day you’ll be doing medicine and be super-rich, you should be able to afford it then, I will endeavour to still be writing and annoying people at that time! We will see!
ur roundups making kpop fans brains short circuit on tiktok makes me thoroughly entertained and worried for the future of the next generation so thank you ・・ｫ｡ and also ur very funny and my goat
Thank you for reading!
Oiled up stream when
Actually I never got the appeal of oil. One of my big JAV turn-offs is anything where people get oiled up. A big nope.
I actually deeply consider the vocal prowess of my boy group faves when they are showing off various parts of their bodies. I subscribe to the ideology that fewer articles of clothing is conducive to a better vocal performance. My bg faves are fantastic vocalists, they could sing to me while I lick their arms, abs, thighs, etc.
It’s a theory! Perhaps it deserve a Kpopalypse investigation…
I think you are my biological father, could you send a strand of hair for dna testing?
Have you seen me? You know I can’t send what I don’t have…
i have a crush on you
I’m taken but if I break up with Jennie again I guess you’ll hear about it in on the k-pop news sites…
Thanks so much for the blog oppar, it’s really helped me through the past couple of years.
Thanks for reading – happy to help!
That’s all for these survey results! Kpopalypse will return!
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