Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 11/3/2024
It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Chungha ft. ATEEZ – EENIE MEENIE
A cool bassline underpins it but it really needed a different type of beat to fill out the rhythm. This sort of weak shuffling stuff really sells the rhythms short, meaning it doesn’t really matter what Chungha and Ateez do over the top, it’s not going to work. The best builder in the world can’t build a skyscraper when the foundation is just sand.
ZEROBASEONE (ZB1) – YURA YURA
Hey it has a mostly fast tempo, remember the days when more k-pop songs had that? That’s a large part of what second-gen k-pop fans liked about “The Chaser“. More of this please, less funeral-tempo bullshit, we came to k-pop to have fun, not mourn the loss of our pet hamster. (No offence if you just lost your pet hamster, but maybe if it stanned Loona…)
ZEROBASEONE (ZB1) – Our Season
The other song is kind of weak though, like Weeekly’s “After School” with no notable melody all the guts ripped out of it. Also features some of the worst instrumental miming since Girls Generation’s title song. What good are teenage boys who can’t actually play musical instruments, do they even have a function.
Xikers – We Don’t Stop
Everyone clutching their pearls like pathetic little babies because I didn’t like “Koong” as if my opinion on your dogshit favourite music actually matters can relax and chill because Xikers’ new song is actually pretty good, experimenting with a wide variety of beats and generally exploring the concept of being interesting for a change.
HIGHLIGHT – Body
Eh it’s just average.
ICHILLIN’ – On My Lips
Boring song but the hotel they’re shooting it in looks nice, how much for a room?
QWER – Shine All Night
A bit of a bland song for some no-doubt crap mobile computer game, but the outfits and styling are great. Definitely top-tier beret-wearing here. Loses points for the bass player having her strap on upside-down though, kinda weird how they missed that detail but then this is the genre where literally everyone doesn’t know how to use a microphone so I guess it’s not too surprising.
n.SSign – Memories of us
Nobody came to k-pop for songs like this. I won’t be remembering this one in a couple of weeks and neither will you.
Song – It’s Call
Some iKon kid does a trot song because he can and… it’s actually pretty good? It actually might be one of the better things to come out of YG this decade, not that there’s much competition there mind you.
Apl.de.Ap, Sandara Park – 2 Proud
Dara is just here for name value only in this nonsense, as her relentlessly pitch-corrected vocal line was clearly written by him and doesn’t sound any better than his.
NuNew, Paul Kim – Blooming just for you
Gosh they sure swept the cobwebs out of True Miracle Entertainment’s grow room, it actually looks pretty good now.
Daesung – Falling Slowly
Daesung flirts with some bar singer in this video but she doesn’t even know how to use a microphone correctly, you can do better.
Lim Hyunsik – Sunshine
Actually a great song. Note that the backing band have to wear masks because being associated with actual good music seems to be a crime in Korea, so musicians have to hide their identity or they’ll be blacklisted.
Yang Donghwa – Blackout
Everyone wants to be Taemin. I guess if you’re a Taemin fan that’s convenient to have options but it would be nice if solo male performers would try to go down a different path every so often. Actually what am I talking about, the two videos above this one are both pretty different, but still… there’s definitely a Taeminopalypse happening.
NND – Overdrive
Hey this is okay but the way the vocals are so super-present above everything else is just weird, it feels like the band were recorded in the apartment above the singer by putting a microphone up to the ceiling.
Kassy – Love Fool
Oh look it’s a vertical window that only gives us 30% of the screen so here’s my 30% of a review. Other than the romantic couple getting realistically scammed by a claw machine, I thought that
Swings – Work
This entire point of this is just Swings saying “look at me, I work out, I’m not as fat as I used to be”. That’s nice and good for him and his health but he may be overestimating just how much anybody else gives a fuck.
Daniel Jikal – Fresh
And here’s the “actually I never was fat” version. I’m sorry, I guess fatness is just on my mind because I did a North Korean roundup this week.
Homies – D.I.E
Oh my god what is this.
Homies – Nosae Nosae
Their other song is at least tolerable but I don’t think that thumbnail looks how they think it looks.
UmYull – CROXX
This wasn’t very interesting so it’s time for our Asian but non-Korean non-pop non-world-music feature! This week it’s Voice Of Baceprot, a three-piece group from Indonesia and they’re just great. Check out this song here which is definitely their best one, ir goes from Sabbath-style riffing to kind of a Tool thing to wild bass solos to reggae, and none of it sounds forced or out of place, there’s no awkward “change-up” vibes here. Even the lyrics and message are on point, with the theme basically being “society’s bullshit sucks just let us be ourselves”. Rocking.
INI – More
I left this out last week just because I could but people wanted it in so here it is. I mean, it’s okay I guess and it definitely has some cool distorted bass in there, but they have the unfortunate disadvantage of coming in here just after Voice Of Baceprot so sucks to be them I guess.
Cotoba – Coil
Cotoba always sound better in live footage and studio recordings, but they’re getting better at capturing what’s good about them in music videos these days.
Rockit Girl – Sexy Code, Fantasy
I don’t know what to write here, I had something very witty and intelligent in my brain and then forgot it for some reason… ah fuck it, nobody will believe that, will they. Just stan Rockit Girl I guess. I hope Wonho is as prolific as Rockit Girl when he gets back from the military, it’ll help restore the gender balance here.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Dreamcatcher – The Curse of the Spider
Not really eligible for roundup so it can go in the bonus songs instead, this new “live” (ahem) version of an old Dreamcatcher song isn’t much different but is generally a good example of the sort of thing the group should be doing more of instead of their usual 20 seconds of heavy metal squeezed between 3 minutes of some other random generic style every other k-pop group also does.
Viviz “Untie” stage mix
I generally don’t like “stage mix” videos because I’m more interested in seeing how one particular performance went from start to finish, rather than a mish-mash of different appearances edited together. The same applies here, so I’ll just be going straight to the performance that had the outfits I liked the best and watching that instead, but I still can’t deny that the transitions here are fun to watch at least one time so you can determine what your favourite outfit is (Eunha in the grey and black for me).
Spica – You Don’t Love Me
And k-pop fans sure didn’t. Spica were a group who had five incredibly talented members and this song will forever be held up by me as conclusive proof that for all the constant wailing about “vocal talent”, k-pop fans don’t care, never have, and never will. Spica failed despite their obvious vocal prowess because they were poorly marketed and didn’t have a member with strong visual camera presence that worked well on TV, key requirements for an idol group in the 2010s or the 2020s for that matter because nothing has changed. This desperate pitch by the company at claiming a retro “sexy concept” was Spica’s biggest selling song but still wasn’t enough to claw them out of C-list status. It’s worth noting that the teaser for the song has more views than the actual full video due to having the member’s big (padded) asses in the thumbnail and featuring all the ass-slapping moments from the full song edited together. It’s clear what k-pop fans really care about, and the people pretending to be different and “above it” are always the ones who are even more into it than everyone else. Just be honest about it, and keep reading Kpopalypse.com for your weekly dose of honest takes that nobody else dares to say.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
0 comments: