POSITIVE POST – Hyuna
Many people say that Kpopalypse is a mean place full of negativity and nastiness. However regular readers know that this just isn’t true, and that Kpopalypse has a big-time POSITIVE attitude about many things in the world of k-pop! Let’s now prove this by looking at all the POSITIVE aspects of Hyuna! Please enjoy this POSITIVE post!
For those of you living under a rock when it comes to k-pop, you may be interested (or not) to know that k-pop idol Hyuna has recently decided to go public about her new relationship. As it turns out the lucky man is none other than fellow idol Junhyung (Ex-Highlight). News of this relationship hasn’t gone down all that well in k-pop circles, for some strange reason that gosh I’m really not sure about, but I still think there’s lots of POSITIVE things to appreciate about Hyuna. Let’s list them out to help k-pop fans have POSITIVE thoughts and remind k-pop fans how important POSITIVITY is!
REASON WHY I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HYUNA AND YOU SHOULD TOO #1
HYUNA CAME TO AUSTRALIA WHEN IT WAS EXTREMELY UNTRENDY TO DO SO
Observe the following graph.
As you can see, not a lot of k-pop girl groups came to Australia back in the days of the domination of second-generation idols, back when Hyuna was very popular. But what’s that blip there in 2013? Well that’s 4minute, Hyuna’s old group, who came here in 2013 and played the Metro Theatre in Sydney. I went to this show and saw Hyuna perform with her groupmates. I can confirm that Hyuna was Hyuna and all her Hyunas were Hyunaing. Okay the gig may not have been all that great and she did kind of look like a warmed-up skeleton (guess it was a rough flight), but it’s the effort that counts. It was the last k-pop show from a girl group that we even got in Australia until Blackpink then toured here, a whole-ass six years later, finally PAVING THE WAY and making it trendier for everyone. So I’ll always have a soft spot for Hyuna as well as all the ex-4minute girls for going against the grain and doing what no other k-pop girl group would. Every other reason on this list is just a ‘bonus reason’, honestly. Hyuna could walk down a mall in Korea with a machine gun and just start shooting randoms in the face and I would just say “ah, Hyuna, I remember that time she came to Australia and nobody else would, bless her, so aegyo, much heart shape”.
REASON WHY I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HYUNA AND YOU SHOULD TOO #2
HYUNA IS A SUCCESSFUL ADVOCATE FOR IDOL FREEDOM
It’s no secret that k-pop idols are strictly controlled. It’s not only their songs that most of them don’t get to choose – clothing, diet, hairstyles and especially public dating are all strictly regulated for many people in the Korean idol system. K-pop fans are always advocating that their favourite idols have more freedom in these areas. Well, Hyuna seems to be someone who actually has that precious ‘more freedom’ everyone seems to want their idols to have. Hyuna’s agency AT AREA even responded to the dating news with a brief “we wouldn’t know who she’s fucking, it’s her life, nothing to do with us“, now that’s the attitude that we’ve been asking agencies to adopt for years now, isn’t that right. We should definitely support this POSITIVE example, after all we wouldn’t want to be one of those “freedom is great as long as you only say and do the things that I say are okay” types, would we?
REASON WHY I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HYUNA AND YOU SHOULD TOO #3
HYUNA IS VERY TOLERANT
Here’s a picture of Hyuna holding hands and trying not to have gay sex with her latest boyfriend, Junhyung. What could be more romantic? But wait a moment, there’s something very disturbing about this picture. That’s right, Junhyung is wearing a T-shirt promoting the worst album in Nirvana’s career, the botched ‘In Utero“. Those who were around at the time of the album’s release know that “In Utero”, while commercially successful (because everyone insta-bought it before even listening to it), was actually a bit of a flop quality-wise with both fans and critics, and was universally criticised for being a lame, pissweak copy of “Nevermind” when it came out, which it was. Of course music critics quickly revised their opinions on “In Utero” as soon as singer Kurt Cobain died because “legend who died” sells more music magazines than “artist who did their best work ages ago died” (also see Michael Jackson), although it’s very difficult to find a trace of that negative reaction these days as it was all written before everyone compulsively posted everything on the Internet. However none of this changes the fact that Hyuna is now probably stuck having to listen to this crappy album on repeat while hanging out with her boyfriend at his flat or wherever. I can picture them now, he’s had a little bit to drink and doesn’t hold his alcohol that well because he’s a twink k-pop boy so he’s jumping around on his bed with “Heart Shaped Box” playing on endless repeat. This is now the 15th time Hyuna has heard it this night, and she’s watching him from the nearby dining room table, bored out of her mind. It suddenly occurs to him in his semi-drunken stupor that he might be being a bit self-absorbed, so he stops jumping and says “you don’t mind, do you?” Hyuna says back “it’s your house, play what you want I guess” through gritted teeth, doing her best to calm her inner rage at having to tolerate Kurt’s crappy Rocktek pedal guitar tone and destroyed-by-drugs vocals for the good of the new relationship. Clearly, Hyuna has a heart of gold.
REASON WHY I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HYUNA AND YOU SHOULD TOO #4
HYUNA CARES ABOUT MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE (AND YOU DON’T)
Okay okay, so maybe Hyuna’s man has a few issues, so let’s talk about him for a second. For those out of the loop on what he actually did, apparently he admitted to watching some molka videos that people sent him and participated in some ‘inappropriate conversations’. I don’t have the text of those conversations, and it seems nobody else does either, so I’ll just have to take everyone’s word for it that it was something other than “gosh please don’t send me any more molka videos, I’m totally not into that”. Junhyung also didn’t have any really good songs when he was in HIGHLIGHT, and BEAST on average weren’t all that great either, AND his most recent solo material is dogshit too. Then there’s the aforementioend shit music taste in general. So that’s quite a lot of valid reasons to not like the man, which is why this POSITIVE post is about her and not him. Yet somehow Hyuna is able to look past all of that and show him some love anyway, in a situation where she obviously knows she’ll be harshly criticised, so she has significant courage to step up like this. Isn’t that the kind of angelic, self-sacrificing person that you wished you had on your side? Clearly she sees something good in him, so perhaps she’s going to try to reform him, a bit like how Daryl Davis used patience, understanding and communication to reform over 200 KKK assholes into somewhat decent human beings. Believe it or not, mature adult women generally don’t go into relationships completely blindsided, and to assume that they do is being patronising and sexist. “Turning a blind eye” my ass, Hyuna is a mature woman who has eyes, she can read news articles, she can even read your bullshit comments, she knows what Junhyung did and has no doubt even talked about it at length with Junhyung himself. Rather than cancelling him, she’s going to try and make him a better person, and do her bit to make the world a better place, because Hyuna is a kinder, more forgiving soul and more interested in improving the state of the world than the average k-pop fan who just likes to say shit online to make themselves look good but isn’t interested in making the effort to make any actual POSITIVE change in the world. Why don’t we wish the best for the new couple instead, she might be able to help him mature and could potentially drag that useless dickweed back from the brink and turn him into something resembling a decent person. If we’re really lucky she’ll even improve his music taste a bit while she’s at it (but given Hyuna’s track record of shithouse post-4minute songs, that might be wishful thinking).
REASON WHY I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HYUNA AND YOU SHOULD TOO #5
HYUNA IS HIGHLIGHTING IMPORTANT GENDER BIAS ISSUES IN KPOP THAT YOU WOULD RATHER IGNORE
So as I mentioned, this is a post about Hyuna and not about Junhyung, which I’m sure you noticed. But why is that? Well, it turns out that it’s because Hyuna is the one copping all of the hate for the relationship. Where’s the hate for Junhyung, you may well ask? It’s practically nowhere. Okay, sure, you can see a lot of hatred of Junhyung on comments about Hyuna, but all of those comments are about Hyuna, nobody is actually concerned about hating him as an “endgame”, he’s being used purely as an instrument to drag her. Even on his own Instagram where he actually is copping some minor blowback (but nowhere near the level that even a nobody like me receives around the Internet on a daily basis) the comments are mainly just concerned about the potential negative effect on her reputation and/or life. He’s also getting a lot more comments of support from fans, whereas the Hyuna fans are suspiciously quiet… yet he’s the one who was on the ‘Molkas R Us’ video sharing grapevine, not her. Isn’t it funny how it’s always the women who cop the hate for male transgressions? K-pop fans aren’t interested in changing this sexist pattern, or even acknowledging it. “But us fans are just trying to make the couple break up by pressuring her”, yes of course, but for what? K-pop fans would actually just love it if Hyuna and Junhyung broke up, Hyuna became miserable and single, and Junhyung went straight back to his old ways and starred in a new molka video, because it would prove them right, and “being proven right” is far more important to k-pop fans than “protecting women from danger” or “making the world better”. If they were really any sort of fans of Hyuna perhaps they’d give her the benefit of the doubt that she’s smart enough to know how to handle the situation, but that would constitute actually giving women credit for something, which as we know all too well is not typical k-pop fan behaviour.
REASON WHY I FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT HYUNA AND YOU SHOULD TOO #6
MAKING THIS POST DELAYED MY “MOST FAPPABLE VIDEOS OF 2023” POST
For this of you who hate-read Kpopalypse (which seems to be quite a few of you, judging from social media activity), a lot of you are not looking forward to the inevitable “Kpopalypse’s 10 most fappable k-pop videos of 2023” post. Of course I’ve been diligently working on this post anyway to please my lovely readers, and I’ve already got my list of videos finalised, plus long descriptions of why they’re included that nobody will read or understand and will probably just take out of context, and I’ve also started work on the obligatory comic strip which has Yua Mikami grudgingly attending couples therapy at the request of her latest boyfriend to help her get over her issues, so you can look forward to that soon. Not this week though, as I was rudely interrupted by all this Hyuna business, so I haven’t really had time to ‘research’ to the level that I need to in order to complete the post this week. So those people who can’t stand the fap have a little bit more time left to bask in the sunshine of not touching their genitals before Kpopalypse ruins their day by reminding them that sexuality is a thing that exists. You can thank Hyuna for that. Why not do it now, before it’s too late?
That’s all for another POSITIVE post! Kpopalypse returns soon!
0 comments: