The RESULTS of the Kpopalypse 2023 survey of caonima action!
This is the results post of the Kpopalypse 2023 survey of caonima action! If you’re here to vote – you’re too late! If you’re here to read the results of how other people voted, read on!
Question 1: Hi! How are you? Please answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.
The usual customary opening question. Here’s some selected responses, and my replies.
I’m so lazy and unproductive, but I’m looking forward to the top and worst song list for 2023. I want to read your novels but since I’m a student and haven’t earned money yet and I don’t have Kindle so maybe one day I may be able to read them. Hope that when the time comes your novels don’t disappear…
You can download a free Kindle app, or other e-reader for your computer or phone so please don’t feel the need to fork out money for an expensive-ass e-reader. The novels aren’t going anywhere and will always be available as long as I can make them available (and given that shit I wrote a decade ago is still around, that’ll probably be a long-ass time).
Supposed to be seeing a guy on a date but he’s 25 minutes late and he hasn’t messaged – scrolling to kill time and to try and stop feeling so anxious.
This guy isn’t a keeper, I hope you’ve moved on by the time you read this.
Good! It’s Sunday and the thought of going to work tomorrow is tough. Started work in a new school (don’t know why) and the management is horrendous, it’s 2 weeks in and I’ve already been given a job that isn’t what I even applied for. I could quit but it’s only 2 minutes from my house and I’m lazy so I’d rather be able to stay in bed later instead of getting a job that makes me commute, so I’ll power through for now.
I’ve been a long time reader and try to answer these every year and just want to say thanks for still going! I don’t listen to kpop that much anymore now my 2nd gen favourites aren’t as active but still check out the blog pretty often. Me and my friend both bought copies of Show Me Love last year and have just ordered Love Light off Amazon (which I only just realised had been released) so I’m excited for that to come. Thanks again Mr Kpopalypse for the years of entertainment!
Thanks for your support! Nothing wrong with being lazy if you can make it work to your benefit.
fuck you you fucking fuck
Thanks for doing the survey! I love all my readers!
I feel good, and most importantly I’m starting to feel good with myself for the first time in almost 27 years
Awesome!
Not great. Anxiety is through the roof because my trauma brained boss has gone off the deep end and started bullying me hard. I wouldn’t normally care but being my boss means she’s properly fucking with me with the power of HR behind her. Shit sucks because everything else about this job is great. Even this dumb bitch when she’s taking her meds. I really don’t want to leave but not I’ve got any other choice at the moment.
If it’s not a job where bosses tend to move on, it could be worth searching for a better job while you still have this one.
hungover as fuck. any tips?
I don’t drink at all and never have but my gf swears by junk food as a hangover cure
Good! I started a new “upper” antidepressant lately along with my “downer” antidepressant and it’s been making life all right. Finding the right combination of medication can take years sometimes so for other caonimas in that situation I recommend they keep trying! Also, is saying “cunt” as an american cultural appropriation
Yes, you cunt-sayers all owe me reparations at my Patreon.
right now I am in a hotel in the Netherlands. We came here to see Ayreon, AKA the best band in the world. they were preforming 01011001 (yes I memorized that) and I won’t bore you with the details but it was amazing. they recorded the night I was at for the DVD release so when that comes out you can witness what I did. You will be pleased to know that one of the singers is an Aussie named Micheal Mills and he is awesome. his band is Toehider if you wanna look it up. If you want a taste of Ayreon Id recommend the day that the world breaks down, anyways the flight was a nightmare and we’re still jetlagged after 3 days but it’s fine. Tilburg is a neat city I like it here. we just got back from an Italian place it was really good. Also because of the WiFi router all of the instruction text you get on computers is in dutch and I love it. I’m sorry to dutch people but you language sounds incredibly silly. well, hopefully when I “verzenden” this survey you will find this at lease mildly interesting.
Wouldn’t be this show by any chance?
Anyway I’ll check them out more. I skim-listened this and the theatrical element of it combined with metal reminded me of Repo The Genetic Opera a bit.
i lost my zerobaseone ricky photocard help. anyways i moved back to korea and started classes in third year of middle school in korea (its 14-15 im not a preteen PLEASE! im in the same school year as hyein, school year is different here, we dont end in summer). high school next year!!!!! . The culture shock is strong lol i made a lot of friends alr which is kinda unexpected? One of the guys keeps on flirting with me in kakaotalk dms i lowkey like him back (/ω＼) Anyways im just gonna talk about kpop now. ^_^; someone needs to step in and close whatever gate pinkpantheress opened in kpop. Because as much as i love her … now every group is trying to be her cause of her influence of tiktok, songs that are two minutes thirty seconds long, with nothing interesting going for it, obviously optimised for tiktok and streamability. But ill take it over releasing a song with 7 different genres jumbled into every different verse. Stray kids i hope you read this message and feel shame ╮(￣▽￣””)╭ no one should be able to release a song like S class and get away with it But whatever regarding your post about “healthy porn for men” (and its male counterpart) i was sort of wondering why no one talks about it as often as often despite it being really… obvious who they (the companies!) are trying to pander to. it seems all innocent but once you start to pick up on the meanings of it all past the surface of all that “UWU so innocent” its just uhh… like hurt by newjeans using those close panned up shots to create feelings of intimacy… or Like nctdream debuting with that weird shotacon concept… oh wait will i get cancelled for saying that idk? probably. considering jisung was on vlive doing those handcuff signs every other week when people were making sexual comments about him while he was still a minor ehhh… Oh and Chenle said SM kept on pressuring to get plastic surgery predebut which i find incredibly disturbing how no one talks about it considering he debuted when he was 14. when the kpop age of debuting discourse comes up and people bring up idols who debuted young as counterpoints (which i find kinda redundant dont do this) theres always someone going “Oh but they debuted with an age appropriate concept” but… if you look past the surface , did they REALLY ???? thats all thank you for reading this word vomit. i wanna find my ricky photocard again please come back to me if youre reading this
Anyone who has seen this reader’s ZB1 Ricky photocard please let me know.
Doing well, paid off my parents house and could technically retire. Fuck knows what I’m doing for the rest of my life lol
I’ll write more stuff for you to read soon, while you think about it!
hi. it’s sunday and my birthday. i hate sundays and i hate my birthday. and i hate september too, but that’s mostly because i associate them with the makeup exams from my time in med school. and no, it’s not glorified teenage angst talking seeing as i am in my late 20s lol it’s just that my birthday makes me feel like i am wasting my life and never living up to my full potential. when i was a kid i wanted to leave a mark on this world, make an impact, leave my footprints, you name it. but then family trauma, college burnout and a decade long depression changed that. then again, my existence is so small and irrelevant when compared to the vastness of the universe that it doesn’tatter anyway and oddly enough that a comforting thought. don’t get me wrong, i am doing better. my family, at least my close ones that i still keep in touch with, have been supportive and i am far away from the worst time of my life. i have a stable job that i don’t hate and where i am reasonably good at. i even got two promotions within the the past year. i dropped out of med school but gathered enough courage to re-enter college, but this time majoring in IT instead. and i am trying to practice self care more. so things aren’t dire, not really. it’s just that it gets a bit lonely sometimes, you know. feeling no one understands you for almost 3 decades is not much fun. feeling like you are not reaching your full potential and you’re just settling for less out of convince or because past traumas have taken their toll on you and you feel like you lack energy to push yourself more or to hustle isn’t much fun either. maybe i have too high standards for myself or maybe it’s seasonal depression talking. i am not even sure why i feel the way i do and why it makes me so sad… so yeah, sorry for the word vomit i splashed here but getting these thoughts out of my system certainly helped so thanks for providing a safe space for me to just do that, regardless of how trivial or nonsensical my problems might appear one more thing, once i was on my lowest, 6 yeats ago or i used to use kpop as a coping mechanism. needless to say it wasn’t the wisest choice. around the time when tjings really went south, i stumbled across your blog. it helped me a lot to emotionally detach myself from the claws of kpop and for that i am grateful to you. your writing style and sense of humor might not be for everyone, but i enjoy it. so for all that i hope you’re fairing well and all the best wishes to you, your gf and your cat.
Thanks for continuing to read! Yes k-pop isn’t a very good coping mechanism, the constant sunniness of both the music and the fan culture can make you feel a bit abnormal when you’re actually having really normal human emotions. The negativity in my writing isn’t (just) me being a jerk, it’s showing people that it’s okay to not be bright and sunny all the time. I’m glad it helped you a bit.
Hi oppar! I recently left uni because I really didn’t want to do it (and I already have a diploma), haven’t really started job hunting because it really scares me, so I’m kinda just existing right now. Currently rereading Show Me Love (I love it, and the Halcyon girls sooo much), I’m gonna get Love Light as a reward for myself when I get to the interviews/rejections part of job search. Hope you’re doing well!
Cheers, I’m good! There’s the entire rest of your life to work so if you don’t absolutely need to, a break after finishing Uni will probably do you some good!
i have reached the youtube watch later playlist limit of 5000. please give me some encouragement so that i may consume content faster and start catching up instead of falling behind
I didn’t even know that a limit existed. That’s terrifying, maybe slow down and smell the roses just a little.
Pleasantly overwhelmed and busy. It’s magical getting paid to do my Master’s. However, the workload is not. I’m in my second-year, have plenty of friends and good connections, even job prospects! I’m just overwhelmed with all the things I’ve got to think about all the time. Excited to see where this all takes me, and to get through the work of this year. I am sooo ready to be back at work where I can forget about it as soon as I leave, rather than having the relentless crush of countless deadlines and papers and projects and assignments. Also I live in the dumbest place possible while doing all of this and am looking VERY MUCH forward to getting the hell out of here.
Jealous. Wish I could have gotten paid to do my masters but a music degree is what it is, sadly.
well my best friend of nearly a decade isn’t speaking to me, i got rejected by a girl who had huge teeth which made her very cute but made oral sex rather painful for both of us, i still really like her though and want to bone her but she saw me posting on instagram about wanting to be breastfed by transgender women so whether or not she still wants to is tentative (digital footprint is real kids), my vagina is torn to shreds, i may need surgery for my fucked up nose and ears, everyone i know lives about an hour away and i dont have a car so im fucked if i want to get to them anyway, and generally this year went from one of my worst to one of my best and then it went to shit again. thanks obama
What goes down must also go up. Good luck for the rest of this year!
In my 5 years of completing the survey, my answer has never been chosen in as little or as much detail so I will simply say I am caonima-ing as usual
I appreciate your caonimaing after all this time with no recognition. Stay strong.
Pretty good, though honestly starting to wonder if there’s any ethical way to support kpop when every performer is mistreated horrendously. Between the FiftyFifty mistreatment and Loona I feel like I’m doing something wrong just by being a kpop fan. Are there even any companies that aren’t horrible?
You may find this post to be of interest!
Well, I’m alive. Anyway, my relationship with k-pop has really evolved by now. I’m really just here for the quality music and the hot fappable guys. Speaking of which, please stan NCT’s Ten, he’s incredibly hot, he’s definitely into tteokbokki, and he’s got three cute cats: Leon, Louis and Levi. Watch him give the goods in his “Baggy Jeans” fancams and please take note of him when the 2024 Objectification survey comes around! Let’s keep him in picture status! -The Gfriending of Retrospring
Thanks for reading and contributing to the Retrospring fun! Caonimas don’t forget that if you’ve got questions and you cbf waiting for QRIMOLE, Retrospring (on the sidebar) is an option. Disclaimer: answers may be a bit shit compared to the QRIMOLE ones.
I’m good! I’ve read both of your books and both were very good reads. A lot of things were in very dark territory but unfortunately that is the reality for a lot of celebrities in the industry. Thanks for writing these books!
Thanks for reading! Someone out there has to write darker k-pop fiction books, all the other ones out there are “Jane went to Korea and became a star ooh wee and it was so much fun gee golly and she met this hot boy in a group who is dark and misunderstood and nobody understands him but Jane made a special connection because she’s so perfect and it was so awesome but will everyone understand and accept the depth of their love oh my read this book to find out kiss kiss smooch smooch”… meanwhile in the actual industry is just people getting fucked up the ass on the regular and occasionally 1 in 100 people has a positive experience.
You know what? I’m not doing well. I don’t enjoy waking up every morning. Hope you’re doing well though bud.
I am! I hope you feel better. I care about my readers – reach out if you need to.
my pp hard
That’s the way!
Howdy! Long time reader and patreon contributor, but first time filling out the survey. I Just finished reading Show Me Love, thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m expecting Love Carousel fondly!
Oh my god! First time for everything I guess! Looking at an early 2024 release for Love Carousel, 15k words already written at the time I wrote this answer (Show Me Love was 95k, Love Light was 90k), but it’s very unlikely to get finished this year just because the end of year content actually takes up so much time to do!
Met up with some friends from high school the other day. We had all bonded over punk rock back in the day. Now all they talked about was grandkids, pets, and houses they had bought. Fucking ordinary, mate, fucking ordinary. Don’t trust anyone over 30, and that includes me
Noted!
It’s 10 pm. I’m about to go to bed. I’m tired, and since I started K-pop my attention span has gone from 30 minutes to 8 seconds and I can’t pay attention to violin practice anymore. I’m desperately waiting for lesserafim to come back with more vogue worthy shit with a groovy baseline instead of whatever UNFORGIVEN was. What happened to their runway concept? Will they continue their fallen angel concept? Will they literally become fallen angels like ITZY? We Got So Much in their concert was promising, but I don’t trust their producers anymore. I’m so unsure. Is 2:30 going to become the norm for songs? Please tell me no. Please tell me no. If you can answer these questions, we will have unlocked the fundamental laws of reality – take that string theorists. Bugs, bugs bugs! They’re everywhere¡
2:30 was actually about the norm for pop songs in the 1950s and prior. So who knows. Can’t help with the other questions. Is one string enough to make a theory with?
Hi, Kpopalypse! I never filled this because my life was very boring and I had nothing to say. I was reaching my 30s, couldn’t find a good job and still lived with my parents and that was very depressing. But this year was a year of changes for me! I got a job in another city. Still not my dream job mind you, but I’m well paid now and moved out from my parents’ house. Now I live with a roommate who’s a really cool guy and we became friends, he even recommends me a lot of new music. I feel like I’m finally becoming an adult now, you know? Hope things are going good for you too!
Good to hear! I hope you enjoyed your first survey experience!
Not the best, actually? I’ve been struggling with a shopping addiction for years and I’m having to file for bankruptcy for the 2nd time in 13 years. I thought I could handle it, I should be able to deal with this on my own… but I can’t. I’m so ashamed. I feel like a failure.
Sorry to hear. Addiction is tough stuff to get over and it can take multiple tries for people (my gf just quit smoking after trying many times over years). In my experience the best way to move past it is to change your other life circumstances for the better, then addiction plays a lesser role in your life and gradually fades. At least it’s been my experience. It may also be worth seeing a doctor about, which I know sounds silly maybe but it might help, they may be able to refer you to somewhere who can help with such a thing. Since you’re addicted to shopping you probably already have both my books but if you email me I’ll send you the third one once it’s written so you don’t relapse.
I just ate 3 fried chickens with 2 cups of rice, plus 2 pancakes with butter and sugar drizzled on top. Ahhh, it’s sooooooooo good not being a Kpop idol.
All idols reading this are weeping right now.
Hi. It’s been awful lately. I had chronic ilness and sometimes I just want to die but I still have to work for my family so there’s that. I feel awful.
Sorry to hear life sucks. Please don’t die though. No Kpopalypse readers are allowed to die, it’s forbidden. I don’t have any advice for you but here is a picture of my cat eating my gf’s shoe. She does this a lot. I’m pretty sure this is a reason to live.
I’m feeling a bit mentally unwell lately and kpop hasn’t helped me improve much, more like the opposite, so I’m gonna distance myself from it for a bit (still a kpopalypse dot com reader tho) Plus I’m going to my fav group’s concert this year and I want to feel better by then. Wish me luck pls.
Good luck! Yes, almost all other music styles are better for mental health than k-pop, so branching out is a good idea, it will make you feel better. This is one reason why I put non k-pop recs in my posts.
I’m good! Just catching up with roundups right now. Since I just saw your review of Purple kiss, I gotta mention that I’m going to their concert in November! I’ll get to meet THE Swan up close since there’s selfie benefits, so feel free to suggest any uwu aegyo pose that I should do with her, or I’ll stick with the same old heart shape.
Have fun! Heart shape is fine, Iron Maiden never changed their style in five decades so no reason for you to mix it up if you don’t want to.
i am so lonely and sad and it’s so hard to tell that to people unless it’s a stranger on the internet. been struggling to do things in general, even the ones i really want to do. i’ll probably be fine as time goes on, i just wish it didn’t feel so terrible right now. i guess it serves as great inspirations for creative shit though, at least it’s not entirely bad
You should see a doctor about how you’re feeling. Mind you also yes it’s good for creativity in the meantime (still see a doc though).
Okay and not okay? The survey reminds me of how much time has passed, and the time that I started reading your blog (8 years ago!), where I was a closeted teenager and felt very alone, but I’m now in a relationship where everything works and we never argue and we have compatible conflict resolution styles, and where I feel so so respected! I’m super busy at work(s) and earning those dollarydoos so I can move out and be as gay as Chuu and Yves (not in this inflationary Aussie economy though!) so I’m stressed as fuck, but at the very least I’m making that decision for myself. Filling in this survey every year makes me reminisce on that old angsty teen that read the Kpopalypse blog for queer friendly content, and makes me feel happy that I’m doing right by my past self if that makes sense, y’know?
Good to hear! Thanks for continuing to read!
Should I kill off my main character or is this a lazy move
I flipped a coin, and the answer was no.
What do you think, I read ur garbage posts
Fantastic 
At a previous survey, I answered I was starting a new life as a NEET. Guess what? Still a NEET. I am stupid.
Jealous. Wish I could afford to be a NEET, then I’d be able to write all day every day and do a lot more posts and writings! Enjoy it while you can, one day you’ll look back on your NEET time with envy.
Hi oppar, I’m sad and unemployed
I don’t really want to, but I’m starting to consider moving out of my country in search of a better life… But Chuu has recorded her solo debut MV in my hometown so I’ll consider it a good omen, thank you Chuu
Here’s hoping the Chuu energy lands you a job, we pray to Chuuves.
tired, generally. i’m also excited because i’ve been hyping my impending job-quitting to go get a phd (!!!) as “retiring” and it feels great. i’ve been dealing with my fear of moving on from my current work and leaving the community i serve but i think i’ve come to a good place knowing that everything will be just fine without me. the important things were getting done when i wasn’t around and they’ll continue getting done when i leave. and that’s okay. things will be keep moving along without me. it’s been nice to finally come to the acceptance that i’m just another little human puttering around and that it’s okay to go after things that make me happy and that i want to do. life is short. why not spend it doing fulfilling things rather than trapping myself within a box of my own making–my self-appointed “purpose”. life is a team sport to an extent. i don’t and shouldn’t have to do everything by myself. there are lots of things i’d love to try and some that i’d probably even be good at. time to go find out
Good stuff! Kpopalypse likes to hear about caonimas winning at life.
im on the verge of having a breakdown because im sick of listening o everyones shit oh and im fucking starving because i havent eaten in days but not by choice
Hopefully by the time you have read this, you had a decent feed.
I would answer this question but I am feeling a bit down in the dumps re: my trust issues which got super amplified by recent events so I wanted to distract Myself with this survey and now I am finding I have too many trust issues to even reply to an anonymous survey box. So things are going great, clearly. I hope you’re doing well, your content always cheers me up it’s just the right measure of uplifting my cynical hag self can take.
Glad I can help!
Hello! I am fine. However, this year two Australians whom I do not actually know but whose creative work I have enjoyed have been diagnosed with cancer, so I am irrationally sending you, Jennifer, and Stiglitz best wishes for much good health.
Thanks! We are all in good health for now, and in fact my and Jennifer’s health are better than ever (cat is still fat and lazy tho).
Pretty optimistic, which still doesn’t feel normal for me — I don’t feel like I can trust it. I fought the bureaucracy at work to do a passion project that I have been thinking about since 2009, but found myself in a place where I can do it. I was told “write it up as dryly as possible so people don’t get upset.” I will do this, but I will also write a version that people notice, but also I want it to be not too many people, because backlash is real and I don’t want to undermine things by drawing too much attention because bigots being upset about things can cause problems. I also put a lot of effort into getting out in 2023, because 2020-2022 really wore out the social fabric, and I think its starting to be less effort relative to the things I get out of it. So, good things, but I know my state might go sideways at any time, and so it’s easy to look at my state with suspicion. Actually related to the site, I’m going to see Purple Kiss in a month at a 500 seat venue, and I’m pretty excited about that.
Hope you have a good time! Si hi to Swan for me.
Question 2: By ticking this box, you consent to Kpopalypse using your data for the purposes of being a cunt who makes people tick boxes for no reason
Most people were happy to consent to data use. As for the rest of you, don’t worry I won’t use the data for anything even remotely practical.
Question 3: Important demographic question – your age?
I wanted to collect some relevant demographic question this time around, simply because readers do often ask me about site demographics. The majority of Kpopalypse readers are college-age or slightly older, which I think is a combination of the site being around for a while so having a lot of long-term readers, plus the general more mature tone of the site overall. Yes maturity, that’s me.
Question 4: Your gender?
I’ve collected gender stats before, but I deliberately made it a very simplified gender question this time around. Despite the stereotype that’s existed in the past that Kpopalypse is a site that mainly appeals to men, the opposite is more true in reality, with men making up less than two fifths of readers.
Question 5: Your LGBT status?
If you’ve ever wondered whether Kpopalypse readers are gay as shit, the answer is “probably”, with less than one third of readers being definitely hetero and everyone else being somewhere else on the sexuality spectrum. Almost 50% of readers were quite certain about having some form of LGBT status, which was a number so high that it surprised even me. I don’t know if this is a reflection of the population at large, or just k-pop fans, or just my readers, or just those of my readers willing to do a survey, but that’s a lot of LGBT readers out there supporting me and tolerating the supposed homophobia that I’m accused of having about 20 times per day…
Question 6: Here’s the new video from Loossemble, called “Sensitive”.
What should be fans’ primary concern be about Vivi at this point?
We all know that k-pop fans are very “concerned” about their idols, and most of you felt that privacy was the concern most worth having regarding Vivi. If anyone’s recognised her in the street lately, please let us know.
Question 7: A train is moving along some railroad tracks at great speed and can’t be stopped. The CEO of YG Entertainment is tied to the tracks and will be hit by the train soon. However you have the option of diverting the train’s path via a junction to another track where the CEOs of SM and JYP are tied to the tracks and will be hit instead. Given this knowledge, what will you have for lunch?
Noodles was the winner, followed closely by pizza, then the rice bowl, sushi, and the sandwich. The least popular option was the bread roll. Gosh I hope those CEOs are all okay, I wonder what happened to them.
Question 8: Black music weekly features in roundup will come to an end in December 2023, what should replace them in 2024? This question is optional.
Thanks for your suggestions, there were many good ones! I haven’t quite made my mind up yet, but given the huge diversity and the several good ideas that were given that I can’t really decide between, I think 2024 and onward is most likely to be an “anything goes as long as I like it” feature.
Question 9: How do you feel about k-pop song quality this year?
The all-important quality question. I haven’t made my mind up about this year yet – I’ll tell you when it’s over!
Question 10: Here is a lyrics video for IU’s song “Uncle”.
Please rate this song’s lyrics on the ADOR Creepy Scale with 1 being least creepy and 10 being “I’ve got a cookie come and take a lookie baked at my place only come get some”.
“Uncle” scored highly on the ADOR Creepy Scale with Kpopalypse readers! Someone should tell IU that when her uncle says her nose looks like Han Ga In’s noise he’s just saying that they had the same surgery.
Question 11: Do you think the NewJeans girls have worked out how they’re being marketed yet?
Most people felt that the NewJeans girls would have probably noticed something a bit strange by now. Not many people thought that the girls were sneaking peeks into their creative director’s Serge Gainsbourg liner notes, and it’s probably just as well.
Question 12: How can we bring Oli London back from the right-wing grifter rabbit hole?
Results for this question were a lot of “who cares” with a sprinkle of “I don’t know” and “why bother”. I however feel like Oli’s found his natural new home, given how much of an attention-fountain right-wing grifting is, and I wish him all the best. He’s probably going to be there for a while, at least until people forget about him and he then has an epiphany and realises that his life’s mission all along should have been to have plastic surgery to look like one of the guys from SPEED.
Question 13: Put your nomination for the 2024 Kpopalypse “no reason” sidebar girl here. This question is optional.
Thanks for your contributions! The new ‘no reason’ sidebar girl is coming soon!
Oh and for those who asked why I ask you instead of just picking someone… partly it’s because sometimes you have great ideas, but for the most part it tells me a lot about what people’s preferences, and why they think the ‘no reason’ sidebar girl exists, which is always interesting. Note however that the result is not decided by popular vote and never has been, I just enjoy collecting your thoughts.
Question 14: Viviz’ Umji seems to be very smart. What problem should she tackle next?
We can all agree that there are many problems in the world today that need attention, but first things first – Umji can you please do something about Viviz’ songs, they’ve been okay enough I suppose but it’s not exactly Gfriend tier just yet. While you’re there, maybe try and fix Twitter and Asian Junkie a little. Thank you.
Question 15: Here is a cat video.
Please acknowledge the cat video.
The cat video was acknowledged by all. Of course this was a compulsory question with only one option, but I didn’t see the need for any other options here.
Question 16: I’ve been doing my best to indoctrinate readers with a love of heavy metal by referencing it in posts where possible, but did this strategy actually work for you personally?
Data shows that my sneaky strategy of turning all my readers into metalheads was only very minimally successful and pretty much a waste of time for all but a slim minority. This is probably a good thing because if you can see through my bullshit sneaky manipulative ways, you can also see through the bullshit on other k-pop websites too, so it means that my much larger mission of encouraging critical thinking is probably working.
Question 17: Please select your favourite JAV from the following recent JAVs of the month
Here’s the reader selections:
I’m not sure how many of you research these thoroughly, but I assure you that there’s no wrong answer to this question. However it’s worth noting that the majority of readers do abstain from watching TV dramas (which is why I don’t put the pie chart for this question in the results as it’s very difficult to read), I salute your determination to not be a degenerate pervert like Kpopalypse.
Question 18: Why does (G)I-dle’s Soyeon get shat on every day for crap English lyrics when BTS get a free pass for the same?
It’s just one of those BTS things, according to readers.
Question 19: Listen to this fucking shit. Just listen to it.
Why are kids these days willingly listening to music that my grandparents would have rejected as ‘music for softcocks’?
One of the most divisive questions in the survey, there wasn’t a clear consensus here but opinion veered very slightly in the direction of BTS solo projects being like a gateway drug between childrens TV themes and actual real music that a person would listen to.
Question 20: For my readers battling with OCD, how is it going? Has reading Kpopalypse.com improved your life?
This compulsory question with only one possible answer wouldn’t bother anyone who didn’t have OCD, whereas someone who does have OCD would have to overcome it just to tick the required box to answer the question. In this way I am helping all OCD sufferers. This of course might mean some people completely freaked out and stopped doing the survey at this point, but don’t worry, you’ve got some time to work on overcoming your compulsion, I’ll be back to test you again in a future survey!
Question 21: Is Chuuves (Yves/Chuu gay ship) real?
Who knows whether Chuuves is real, but you can certainly expect me to beat you over the head with more of it anyway in Try Not To Have Gay Sex With Yves 6: Return Of The Chuu – coming in 2024!
Question 22: I need some new game recommendations – what computer game is Wonho most likely to be playing during his current military service? Suggestions that run on potato computers preferred. This question is optional.
Thanks for the game recommendations! I’ll be recommending some more games for Wonho in a future post!
Question 23: I plan to write a Halloween fiction this year. What format would you prefer?
The most popular choice was readers just being happy that I was making content of any kind at all, which is nice! For those who had a preference, it was a branching path story, so that’s what you’ll get! Expect it fondly in the lead-up to Halloween 2023!
Question 24: This is a picture of Kpopalypse’s cat.
Regular viewers of the Kpopalypse livestream will know that my cat, once a regular stream participator, has been missing from livestreams lately, and usually won’t attend even when bribed with food. Why is this?
According to readers, my cat’s non-attendance is a protest against k-pop song quality. Having said that, since the survey went live she actually attended the last two livestreams, so perhaps there’s been some improvement in the music lately.
Question 25: How do you feel about the increasing trend of k-pop songs where the parts don’t really fit together and nothing makes any sense?
Interestingly, although 19.7% of people claimed to like pie in the response to this question, this didn’t correlate at all with question 7 above where pie was actually one of the least picked options of all, collecting only 2.1% of the vote. I guess nothing really does make any sense.
Question 26: Where is Eyedi?
The disappearance of Eyedi is a mystery. Personally I think she’s in the True Miracle Entertainment basement changing the sheets and servicing the air conditioning.
Question 27: Now that Yua Mikami has quit dramas and presumably has more free time as a result, will she come back to k-pop?
“Probably not” was the general opinion of Kpopalypse readers, and unfortunately I have to agree since she’s done about five different dogshit j-pop projects since leaving Honey Popcorn, and isn’t replying to my texts.
Question 28: Please rate your enjoyment of this survey
Most readers enjoyed the survey, which was great to see! Of course this chart can’t really be trusted because of survivorship bias – people who didn’t enjoy the survey may not have made it all the way through to provide a response. Oh well, sucks for them to be not counted I guess.
Question 29: Thank you for doing this survey! If you have any feedback for Kpopalypse please leave it here. This question is optional.
Some randomly selected feedback, and my replies:
Is that kitten even old enough for grown up food? A+ for effort though, I also sometimes feel like growling at my dinner. Please add an option to submit photos of our own cats, thanks
Yes it could have been a bit much. If you keep watching the same videos there’s also a grown up cat. Will consider your pet submission suggestion, remind me of this in late February 2024!
He messaged while I was filling this survey in saying sorry he’s late he was on a run?? Rude asshole. Survey was great!
Oh my god what a dipshit he is. I hope you’re either single or seeing someone else by the time you read this.
I just want Fifty Fifty to be free from their shitty company already, that review of Tell Me breaks me whenever I think of it This is to say that more reviews of you predicting how shitty companies are is a good thing, please keep exposing these assholes even if Reddit megathreads suck corporate cock
Thank you, will do!
I want to have sex with every member of kep1er, loona, le sserafim, h1key, lightsum, ses, apink, fromis9, twice,… actually, i want to have sex with all the girl groups and some of the boy groups
“It’s important to have ambition” – Shin Hana
have you ever done a fanfic from a ceo’s perspective? or an artistic directors? that would be interesting
It’s something I’ve been thinking about, although to be honest I don’t find that perspective to be anywhere near as interesting from a storytelling point of view, because I feel like if anything that type of perspective already gets far too much attention. I mean if you want to see the thoughts of people who heartlessly put chart performance, image, income and the running of the business above any and all ethical concerns you don’t need a fictional book about a CEO for that, just go to any k-pop comment section, forum or subreddit. Whereas talking about the negative aspects from an individual performer’s perspective is still taboo in the k-pop space, every single person who speaks out (on my interviews or elsewhere) gets dogpiled by k-pop’s self-appointed ‘expert’ fans with doubt, negativity, and “just suck it up/don’t kill my vibe” comments…
Love you so much
I don’t drink! I happily accept good quality chocolate though, far cheaper than beer where I live!
If I come stalk you and appear at your bedside at 3AM will you sign my books?
Yes.
why did i waste 10 minutes filling this out.
Good question but thank you for doing so!
I think you should do an ARG thing but it might be too much effort with you writing the book and all
The Yves games actually have a few elements of this. But yes a fully fledged ARG might be a little beyond my scope/budget/time allotment given all the other stuff I do.
Please give us your best K-pop tracks of 2023.
I promise that I will at the end of this year!
olay, i started this survey feeling like shit but now i feel reasonably better. the cat video helped a lot. your surveys are always fun. thank you for all the time and effort you put into your content. doing shit like this consistently for years can’t be easy especially with the amount of bloody awful songs in roundups these days. have a good one and give your cat extra scratches and headpats for me. until next time, oppar!
Thank you for participating!
fucking liberals
I have no idea what this even means. Remember I’m Australian so I don’t know if you mean “liberal” in the Australian sense or some other sense. More information here in the politics section.
never speak ill on dance on my own by loona ever again (love some of your opinions and your cat is cute so i guess that makes up for it)
You realise this is just going to encourage me to talk even more shit about it, right?
i have got diagnosed with clinical depression and im on the spectrum
im going to kms
Not allowed.
both times we’ve interacted on Twitter DM you’ve had truly helpful suggestions and one that unlocked like 40% more internet for me so thank you
Glad I could help!
You forced my hand in the metal question! I hit the ‘liked it before and like it now’ but the truth is I appreciate the recs because even though I have never disliked it, I was never interested enough to really get to know the genre. What’s more, I don’t even differenciate that well between genres so a lot of the songs I consider metal might not even be so. I actually got most of my metal knowledge, and this is gonna make you laugh, through the Supernatural tv show XD I do know that a lot of those song are considered rock but I THINK there’s actual metal in there somewhere. Anyway, I’m rambling, what I wanted to say is that I like finding new songs to enjoy from genres that I don’t know well. Too much throat singing makes my head hurt, tho ^^U (What’s that called, again? Growling?) Other than that, I’ll just repeat myself from other surveys: your roundups are much appreciated because I suck at keeping up with new releases and hate to discover that a group I like released a song months ago and I never knew. Your commentary is also fun to read, even though I think your standards are through the roof. Or mine are so low they’re in Hell, one of the two. Lots of love
Thanks!
Please publish an essay on The Voice, taking care to incorporate kpop into this piece of writing.
If I must.
Australians, vote yes. Wonho says so. The end.
(If anyone wants a detailed run-down of why I think the yes vote is the way to go, I’ll do it another time, just ask in QRIMOLE. I do have my reasons but this post already took me a whole day and I don’t want it taking two more whole days. For now, all you need to know is that Clive Palmer is voting no and doing the opposite of whatever that idiot does is generally a good rule for life.)
about the metal question: I really enjoy listening to new stuff and reading what you have to say about it, but I really am finding that metal’s not for me. I don’t understand the rock/metal genres yet but I think i’m just a punk kinda person, I guess.
Well punk these days is barely a stone’s throw away from metal so I’d be interested to know where you draw the line here i.e what sonic characteristics change how you feel about a punk song to where it goes too far in the metal realm for you.
what is the relationship like between australia and new zealand for a non aussie
See information here about ANZAC and sheep.
please stay as you are and keep writing. I always read even though I never comment. your music classes are cool, keep them coming every now and then please. Also black music classes was great, please keep them or do something equally educating. take care & G´day to you!
Thank you!
Before I got distracted by this survey, I was actually about to search up “itzy” here and find bad reviews of their songs, because I think they have mostly bad songs. Sometimes it’s just nice to see someone agreeing with your opinion. It assures you that you are not crazy and that there are other sane people out there. Also I love “Project Luhan”.
This is part of the reason why I write, it’s important to have something to counter the toxic positivity that exists in the k-pop world.
I miss when you didn’t have series and you’d just post random ass meme posts about some current events, cause they were funny as hell and made some excellent points. The last one about Moonbin was a good example, although more gloomy and dark than funny, I’ll admit.
A lot of this content now tends to find its way into roundup instead, unless I feel like I’ve got enough to run a full post with I’ll jsut say a short piece on roundup about it. Since k-pop is still doing the same old stupid shit, most of the time, a lot of what is happening currently is actually already covered by older posts so there’s often no need to go into greater detail. However I will still do so from time to time, if the situation is right…
God it’s been about 8 years since I started reading your blog and I’m a completely different person, and being a functional adult is both exhilirating and tiring at the same time. At the very least it’s always a nice reminder when reading your blog to not give a fuck about things!
Thanks for reading!
Make a tutorial on how to play the try not to have gy sx with yves games I’m stupid and can’t figure it out
- Play on your computer not your phone (for the love of god)
- Arrow keys to move Chuu
- Enter key when facing an object or person to interact
- There’s tutorials inside every TNTHGSWY game, it’s always a book in the first room of each game
- It’s good practice in my games to interact with everything multiple times just to make sure you didn’t miss anything, or something different doesn’t happen the second, or third, or seventh time…
- There’s a walkthrough for each game at my Patreon (at the free tier, you don’t need to be a Patreon subscriber), these usually come out a couple weeks after the game does
asianjunkie dot com works perfectly on my phone… I am using Opera as browser
Hi Umji please tell us how you did it
Long time lurker from over 10 years ago (spanning major changes from single to married to raising a child; college degrees to full time employee), first time answering a survey. Have always enjoyed the commentary and content here!
Thank you!
As someone who is looking to become more of a cunt, I would like some advice from a well-established cunt such as yourself. How tight should my cunt be? Should I be virgin tight and inflexible? Or loose, saggy, and wider than the Pacific Ocean?
All cunts are valid.
I am advocating for Asian artists to replace black ones next year, my campaign strategy is to ask you if this mrs
Beabadoobie is one of the most attractive people in music now or ever, and would top the bias list easily if she was a k-pop, but that dress is hideous.
If you could dumb down your music lessons for stupid kpop fans I would be grateful you see for the life of me I can’t get music if it’s teeny tiny theoretical that’s why I couldn’t learn playing because I didn’t find anyone who can teach me in a manner that I can get. BUT
my brain and soul gets music in a different way so if you could like explain “tonality” and how random melodies could fit together if they had the same tone in a dumb way for me and the other dummies like me by sharing bunch of examples from different genres and saying hey these are the same tone. Idk dude I’m rambling if you could do it it would be great if you can’t I understand you already have to deal with a lot of idiots so just give you cat many kisses for me
Not entirely sure what you mean.I can only guess you’re probably talking about the concepts here, but it’s not really possible to explain without a ton of background info first (that’s why that post is episode 10 not episode 1). Unless I go the abstract route somehow but I’m not really very good with metaphysical shit like that.
I hope you’re doing well despite being a gooner
I had to look this up, and even after I did I’m still not completely sure what it means.
finding this blog was such a relief, kpop fans are the most serious and dickride-y group of people that i’ve never taken seriously. you’re funny and i’m glad this is here even if i don’t agree with you and you kinda weird me out a lot of the time
Thanks for reading! Yes a lot of what I write is designed to be an antidote to a lot of the dickriding crap out there. Yes sometimes it’s shocking but I like the “straight between the eyes” approach, what can I say. Anyway glad you’re enjoying the content!
Thanks to all readers who participated in the survey! Kpopalypse will return!
0 comments: