Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 13/1/2025
It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
IVE – Rebel Heart
Yeah, it’s great. Basically “I Am” yet again with a bit more of a rock makeover, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The brief dubstep break wasn’t the best choice, but it’s short and not enough to take things off the rails. Also the video is great because it has Liz trying to get all the Infiniti Nikki animal-petting achievements, which is all I really want from an IVE video really.
Minnie – Blind Eyes Red
I was told that this was the most boring song on the planet before I listened to it, and now I’ve listened to it, I’m here to tell you that’s a lie. There are at least three other songs out there in k-pop more boring than this. I blame the horse, which I think ups the interest level considerably.
Seo Eve – They never know
A new song from Seo Eve that’s catchy as fuck (it kinda rocks like QWER without the guitars) and more importantly it doesn’t sound anything like the songs she already has out. As much as I love those other songs this is the right move from her, as it’s setting her up for the long term by proving she’s not a one-trick pony. Now we just gotta fix that vertical video…
Kwon Eunbi feat. Coogie – Snowfall
They went to all that work precisely colour-coordinating the set and clothing for this boring-ass duet and then they gave her a microphone in period-stain dark red. Why do this to the poor girl, hasn’t she suffered enough just by having to be in the same room as this guy rapping?
Huh Yunjin – Jellyfish
Basically diet OOHYO. There’s not much point wasting your time with this when the full-strength version is cheap and readily available.
RIIZE – Hug
An old TVXQ song got remade for the 235687th time and nobody cares. Just to keep it thematically on point, RIIZE should have done this cover with three-fifths of their group missing. Wouldn’t want to remind anyone about how other groups used to have lots of members in them, now would we.
BSS (SEVENTEEN) – CBZ (Prime Time)
I love the disclaimer at the start, that’s one I haven’t seen before. I should have written into the “fiction” disclaimer on my books that they were planned in 1953 so they’re definitely not about the k-pop industry.
KickFlip – Umm Great
It’s JYP’s latest boy group, and that song title sounds like it could be my sarcastic-ass review. The beat is pretty obviously inspired by GD&TOP’s “Knock Out” (why is everyone suddenly doing that sound again now? Is this Squid Game 2’s fault, for reminding everyone that T.O.P was a rapper once?) and it’s… well, I don’t hate it. I wouldn’t say I like it either, but it’s tonally consistent and even has a variety of beats that fit together sensibly without throwing a Rosalia, which is probably all that I can reasonably ask from a k-pop boy group debut in 2025.
NiziU – Yoake
Niziu get a… Gfriend style song? Truly, anything can happen in k-pop. Don’t get too excited, this isn’t going to make you want to throw your Umji photocards in the fireplace, but hearing Niziu investigate actual music is a newer direction for them that I support.
PURPLE KISS – Light the way
As usual, RBW have got no money or care factor for Purple Kiss comebacks so they just give their phone privileges back for a few hours and say “make your own damn video, girls”. Notice how often here Swan is shunted to the background or just plain absent while everyone else hogs the camera, the creative director needs to get back from leave and fix this nonsense.
Wheein – Aftertaste
If only they put as much energy into the songwriting as they did into making sure Wheein was seated comfortably.
Onew – Winner
Onew’s last few songs haven’t been too bad actually, I thought maybe there was something strange in the water over at SM, but this average-ass ballad gives me faith that everything is in fact normal.
XLOV – I’mma Be
Remember when new k-pop boy groups would reliably blast out of the gate with a super upbeat, punchy, kick-ass debut song? Ah, those were the days, long gone now it seems.
DKZ – 2024 (Wishlist)
2024 wishlist, isn’t it a bit late for that? DKZ are the employees at your work who keep putting last year’s date on all the documentation.
&TEAM – Deer Hunter
I liked the dance move at 1:18, I don’t know what that’s supposed to be, a deer peering around the bushes before being shot in the face by Robert De Niro perhaps, but it was funny, and funny is enough to be entertaining.
NEXZ – Eye to Eye
If it says “B-side” in the video that’s basically the label saying “we know this shit isn’t good enough to be shoving in front of you like this but you’re a dumbass so you’ll accept it anyway, now lap it up like a dog you weak-minded cunt, you are our corporate bitch”. Just a heads up.
Waker – Always Be There
I was too bored with this song to even review it so it’s time for this week’s non-Korean LGBT feature! This week it’s British pioneering industrial group Throbbing Gristle, who not only had a gay member (Peter Christopherson) but also a trans member, singer Genesis P-orridge, who went through various body modifications from the 1990s onward. Their intensely varied and notoriously confronting musical output is as difficult to easily sum up in one paragraph as their singer’s ideology so I won’t bother with any of that here, just know that if you think “all music sounds the same” you might find them refreshing listening. They are also the only industrial group proven to make BTS fangirls cry, it must be all that paving the way that they were doing back then.
Tracer – 365
I like it how they cleared out their grandmother’s lounge room to shoot this one. I hope they put all the furniture back afterward. Anyway, this sucks but it’s still better than most of Babymonster, Izna, Meovv etc.
MAIMATSU – Away Out
It’s not a bad effort and I don’t mind the somewhat crusty production, but it’s too twee and annoying like the Japanese stuff it’s copying. It just needed something more interesting than this in the chorus.
IHOTEU – Prelude
Somewhat better, this one’s more after Gfriend territory and results actually aren’t bad.
Pastel Girls – Senchihae
Laughably impoverished and very old-school, but in a good way, this sounds like the C/D-tier groups from 2010 everyone’s forgotten about, including me.
CREZL – Hakuna Matata
K-pop rule: any song called “Hakuna Matata” will always suck.
WITCHX – Beautiful Story (Highlight)
Rubbish song, pointless mimed “live” video, but when the first girl sang I nearly fell over in shock, and it wasn’t a bad kind of shock. Someone in k-pop actually hired a girl with a deep tone to her voice, and didn’t force her to do the “I’m so high-pitched and girly” thing ten miles outside of her vocal range which everyone else does and which is a VERY common complaint that ex-idols have, by the way. If you wonder why deep-voiced women don’t seem to be that active in pop music generally, it’s because they’re deliberately excluded, and I’m not just talking about Korea here.
Park Gunwook – Placebo
ZB1 haven’t been around long enough to justify shitty spin-off solo mid-paced trap ballads by random members.
Mame – Not Puppy Love
JO1’s solo project this week is… a little better.
Lim Kim x Kim Chang Wan – First Night
Well at least it’s not shouty quasi-feminist sloganeering but I wouldn’t say this is much good either. Don’t worry I’m sure she’ll be back to yelling at us about how she’s a “queen” soon enough.
015B feat. Jeong Dayeong – How R U
Not one of the better 015B tracks.
The Deep – Girls Like Me
Pretty cool actually, The Deep has been on a serious improvement kick lately.
Ken – Dear Little Star
Oh another vertical video where they use only 30% of the screen, so here’s my 30% of a review. I really thought that this song was utter
Sik-K x Lil Moshpit – LALALA (Snitch Club)
Imagine calling yourself “Lil Moshpit” and making music like this. I might as well call myself “the greatest rapper alive” and then make opera.
MODO & Ambid Jack – Humanfield
Hey it’s okay, better than that other shit, but let’s stop roundup here because I’m sure everything else sucks this week.
OSUN – i’m finally now an adult, so let me do the cliche
I’ll give this a pass though, just for the song title. Adulthood status not confirmed.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
Thanks HYBE for pulling your fucking finger out – cunts
Hey thanks for the video HYBE you useless shitbags, next time don’t waste your energy on that “half a video” bullshit cheers. Anyway I don’t like the new Gfriend song any more than I did before, and that’s not to say it’s bad, I mean it’s decent, okay? I mean compared to 90% of girl groups, this thing kicks ass. However compared to most of GFRIEND’s songs, it’s… just kinda meh. It’s no “Rough“, it’s no “Fingertip“, it’s no “Mago“, it’s no “Time For The Moon Night” even. THAT was my point. But cunts these days can’t read so I have to spell out my opinion yet again for the ever-growing legions of k-pop following stupids who never use more than 1% of their brains at any given moment. When this review gets on TikTok they’ll probably still misread this and think that I wrote “all black music ever sucks ass” or something.
Yes, I am Nayeon
Am I deluding myself, or did Nayeon listen to feedback and “rebunnify” her teeth a bit? It’s probably just my brain making things up, but I swear she’s got some of her cute overbite back. Anyway, this isn’t Joshpopalypse so wake me up when the “Yes, I am” video for Jeongyeon happens.
NS Yoon G – Reason To Become A Witch
NS Yoon G sounds pretty good in retrospect here, with a song that rocks and even has reasonable lyrics that talk about embracing self-centredness as a protection mechanism from douchebags rather than as a fashion statement (which is how it usually plays out these days instead). It’s kind of a cool track if you can get past the cringe rappers interjecting every five seconds with “NS YOON G IN DA HOUSE” type bullshit. Sadly Koreans don’t give a shit about any female soloists who weren’t originally from groups or who aren’t IU, so NS Yoon G gave up being a k-pop a decade ago and does movies and TV now, oh well.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
