Friday, 23 January 2026

Album Review – Wonder Girls “Reboot”

It’s time for more Kpopalypse album reviews – this time Kpopalypse is taking a look at “Reboot” by Wonder Girls!

It’s time to get old-school again with Kpopalypse album reviews! There’s definitely some newer albums that I’m planning on covering this year, but I’m still in “clearing the A-list backlog” mode for at least a little while longer!


Wonder Girls – Reboot

“Reboot” was the third and final full length album by JYP Entertainment girl group Wonder Girls and was released in 2015. Promotions for the album caused a buzz by showing the dormant idol dance group not only revived but reconfigured as an instrument-playing pop group (a reversal of then-popular AOA’s trajectory at the time), and teaser footage notably included the girls playing (heavily edited) solos on their instruments of choice. Also of note was the group’s strikingly manufactured image, seemingly modelled around the all-female-model backing band in the video for US singer Robert Palmer’s 1980s hit “Addicted To Love“. People wondered if this reconfiguration of Wonder Girls even qualified them as a real instrument-playing group, and the answer was…. kind of. Like Robert Palmer’s models, Wonder Girls did not actually play any of their own instruments on the recording, and only Yeeun (on keys) was beyond intermediate level as a player at the time, but they did learn their instruments well enough to do some live performances for album promotions. Each of the girls also had a hand in co-writing every track on the album except the feature, although for the most part it’s not known to what extent. The album itself reflects the retro-inspired theme with a heavy 80s synthpop sound on many tracks, making this a “concept album” of sorts, at least sonically.


1. Baby Don’t Play

The first track on any k-pop album is almost always the best track, and “Baby Don’t Play” is no exception, starting off the album with a big synth-pop bang, leaning hard on exactly the kind of lush sound you’re probably expecting from looking at the cover art. Keys, bass and drums all have a similar heavily-synthesised tone, with only the funk guitar sounding relatively organic. It’s obvious that much of what’s here is pre-programmed synths rather than live playing, and in that sense “Baby Don’t Play” definitely sets the tone for the rest of the album. The song has a seriously hooky chorus, some neat chord progressions that are unmatched anywhere else on the album and it’s a great mid-paced opener as well as one of the better Wonder Girls tracks in general.

2. Candle (ft. Paloalto)

More really cool synth sounds and vocal melodies, with some excellent electro-bass and keyboard riffing carrying the song more so than any of the singing. The effect of the instruments here is sadly dulled by relatively uninteresting verses and several rap sections (from both Paloalto and the Wonder Girls themselves… wait, what is Paloalto even doing here? Who invited him? For what purpose?) that dilute some of the appeal. Nevertheless it’s still a good track despite these weaknesses and keeps much of the same sonic signature of the album opener.

3. I Feel You

Big Van Halen style keyboards introduce the song’s flagship track (which is oddly the only song title also printed on the album cover) and at least in terms of nailing the production to the concept, “I Feel You” is the album’s shining moment. The only song on the album written and produced by JYP himself, his flair for this style of production shines through, and it’s a shame that he didn’t use this sound on more songs throughout his career for both himself and others. Having said that it’s melodically not as strong a song as “Baby Don’t Play” with the vocal melodies devolving a bit into R&B territory which doesn’t quite suit the straightforward energy of the backing track. “I Feel You” was the only song from the album to receive a music video, although Wonder Girls did actually promote many of this album’s other songs on Korean TV stages.

4. Rewind

One of many retro-referencing song titles, “Rewind” is a mid-paced track with atmospheric ballad vibes that quickly vanish. The smooth vocals and keys here are placed somewhat at odds with the hard-compressed 80s synth drumming and the result is just a little odd. This feeling grows more in the chorus when the syncopated bass comes in to double the drum rhythms and lends some extra punch, making the rhythms better but also rubbing up against the laid back “sultry” (or whatever) vocal approach even harder. Probably a song that would have been more effective with either a softer or tougher sound (but not both at once),”Rewind” still works overall but it’s not one of the album’s stronger songs.

5. Loved

“Loved” starts by going crazy with the 80s handclaps, but after a few seconds you can barely even hear them over the layers of synth and that chunky hard-gated snare drum. The song is mainly driven by some fairly average rapping in the verses which doesn’t work that well against the mushy reverb on the instruments and the endless layers of sound. A decent chorus and a very good instrumental breakdown both serve the backing track much better, and there’s some great playing here overall as the song winds on, but it’s far from the best song here.

6. John Doe

An oddly crap song title belies one of the album’s better tracks. “John Doe” breaks slightly from the sonic theme with its frequent brass stabs that don’t really sound like anything else on the album so far. Subtle but cool keyboard and guitar work also really helps this song out, and it’s good that they toned down the snare drum a bit for this track to give everything else a chance to breathe. I think the producers of this album read that one story about Phil Collins’ snare drum sound and just got a bit overenthusiastic in places. “John Doe” feels just a bit less leaden thanks to just some slight production restraint, which helps it significantly.

7. One Black Night

Out of all the songs on this album that the “why don’t you review album tracks Kpopalypse you asshole” people kept harassing me about, “One Black Night” was the one that they campaigned for the hardest. I hope those people are reading now 11 years later and are happy that they finally got their review. I’m tempted to not say anything about this album and talk about something irrelevant now just to fuck with them further but I’ve had my decade of toying with them so I’ll tell you what I think because I’m so nice like that, and weirdly, people give a shit (yeah, I don’t know why either). “One Black Night” is a banger that leans into the SAW sound a bit with the ostinato bass and the rapping/talking sections here are the only ones on the entire album that are actually effective, it’s the album’s second-best song after the opener.

8. Back

Well, there goes the concept, we’re into the “fuck it” stage of the album now. Wonder Girls throw the 80s synthpop theme completely out the window for this track which is more of a circa-1990 rap track, along with everything you’d expect from that style. The breakbeats and dry production is all here, all that’s missing is the random screechy looping noise in the background and a sample of Flavor Flav going “yeaaaah boizzzzz” (hey if it’s good enough for DIA…). It’s not bad but it has nothing in common with anything that came before it and feels like it belongs on a different album. “Back” is also the only song on the album which is (if the songwriting credits are to be believed) completely written lyrically and musically by the girls themselves and nobody else (all except Yeeun were involved here) and.. well I guess they didn’t know how to write an 80s synthpop song to keep in with the theme, so they didn’t bother. Fair enough I suppose, but I have to wonder what it’s even doing here, besides collecting royalties.

9. Oppa

Another track that feels out of place completely, at least at first, “Oppa” experiments with a few different rhythmic feels in the verses over the various rapping parts, and none of it is all that bad… or all that great, either. The song quickly improves when the chorus appears and the heavier synth feel of earlier tracks is redeployed, but it’s not quite enough to make this song a success because there’s not that much in the way of interesting melody here. One of the weirdest breakdowns in Wonder Girls’ career also makes the track stumble a bit. Overall “Oppa” is not a bad song but certainly one that definitely doesn’t feel like it completely fits together, either in context of the album or in isolation.

10. Faded Love

A puzzling fade-in intro gives way to some pretty nice keyboard riffs, but that’s the best thing about “Faded Love”, which is melodically bland once it gets going. Decent instrumentation all the way through and a nice shuffling groove still manages to pull this song over the quality line, but you pretty much have to ignore everything happening vocally to get any juice out of this one. At this point the album doesn’t seem to be worrying about having a consistent sound anymore, but “Faded Love” isn’t a bad listen anyway, if just a little uninteresting.

11. Gone

A slow synth jam with dull synthetic drums and some extremely odd sonic choices, but they’re buried way back in the layers of vocal and synth to the point where you might not notice anything’s all that odd at first. Just wait – as the song drags on weird “wrong notes” punch through from time to time with increasing frequency, usually when one of the girls is trying to do some screechy high vocal part at the same time. The song culminates with a truly horrendous vocal breakdown “climax” of pure undiluted unlistenability that is so pathetic that it has to be heard to be believed. Absolutely the worst song on the album, you’ll be “gone” yourself long before it’s over if you have any music taste left.

12. Remember

It’s not a k-pop song without a dogshit ballad for morons on it somewhere, and “Remember” is that song on Reboot. Characterless and boring, this ballad says “fuck you” to the established album concept and just goes through exactly the same tired, cliched, ballad-songwriting-for-dummies motions as every other k-pop b-side ballad you’ve ever heard, ever. A true stinker to end the album on and to remind readers that even the best k-pop albums still contain garbage like this, it’s still a better song than “Gone” because while being bland, boring, conservative, dreary and unimaginative, at least it’s physically listenable. Puzzlingly, it was written by the same songwriter as the album’s great opening track “Baby Don’t Play”, so who the fuck knows what happened there.

FINAL THOUGHTS

“Reboot” was critically acclaimed when it came out, and is still highly regarded as a k-pop album to this day, and rightly so. The songs are mostly good, some are excellent, the musical approach is unusually consistent for a k-pop album, and all the crap is sensibly buried right at the end so you can just turn the thing off once you’ve had your fill of quality music in the album’s first two-thirds. The sonic signature of the album is meaningful and was way ahead of the curve for the time it was released – synthpop didn’t really start trending hard in k-pop until the early 2020s. The “band” concept however is more of a marketing gimmick, but it’s still a marketing gimmick that worked well at the time and one that I’d like to see k-pop try a little bit more of, because endless girl idol dance groups does get a bit boring. Mind you, given that the synthpop trend is slowly petering out and girl bands in k-pop are now less of a novelty than they once were thanks to the likes of QWER gaining the commercial relevance that AOA as a band never managed, we’re probably not going to see a big agency try another album like Reboot anytime soon, if ever. That alone makes this album a strange anomaly that’s worth investigating, regardless of whatever you might have ever thought about JYP or the Wonder Girls themselves.


That’s it for this post! Kpopalypse will return!



Monday, 19 January 2026

Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 19/1/2026

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

Danielle did an ASMR livestream recently, it was pretty wild. Actually no it wasn’t, but she did at least clarify that she loves everyone and stuff. Hoping she doesn’t have to pay a Bom-tier amount of money to HYBE.

EXO – Crown

Generically “epic” in that SM Entertainment way where they give it some teensy tiny beat and put 90% of the effort into computer-harmonising the vocals. This will feel familiar and nice to people used to glazing SM’s boy-group output and unspectacular to everyone else.

Chuu – Canary

Not a bad song but the backings are either too wispy for the verses or too dramatic and leaden for the big chorus, it’s not the right choice. Very little Chuu energy in this Chuu song.

ILLIT – Sunday Morning

Reasonable enough pop-rock stuff, but apart from that bonkers keyboard solo it all sounds a bit half-hearted and backgroundish. A bit more punch would have helped.

MISAMO – Confetti

A spectacularly awful song that doesn’t seem to know what sound it’s aiming for, it’s as cut-up and messya s its namesake. In some places it sounds like it’s going for “Modern Times” era IU, at others it’s more of a modern k-pop song, but most of the time it falls limply somewhere in between. It would have been alright if the melodies were okay but it’s a massive fail there too.

The Deep – Wrong Number

After clearing the favourites list last year The Deep is back and this is a solid entry, she’ll probably never get the credit she deserves, but she should.

ChRocktikal – Peace

It’s good that Siyeon has the right idea with the rock thing, if anyone was going to continue on the Dreamcatcher rock legacy it was going to be her. Unfortunately the song itself is a bit bland, she’s having the same problem that Rolling Quartz tends to struggle with – great rock sound, mediocre rock songwriting.

Kiiikiii – Delulu

Just a simple disco song, it’s straightforward and it works. At least one person is writing decent stuff for this group.

ENHYPEN – Knife

So many jokes I could make about that song title but half of them could get me arrested depending on what country I travel to so I’ll just tell you that this song is so shit that I don’t think it’s even worth risking a visa cancellation to shit on.

NCT WISH – Hello Mellow

A really confused sound here, this is too jumbled to be mellow.

CATCH THE YOUNG – Amplify

Definitely the best song from this group. High energy and really cool and different harmony choices set it apart from the usual boy idol fake-rock stuff.

LNGSHOT – Moonwalkin’

I don’t know what this but anyone who accuses Kpopalypse of yapping, just know that I’ve been outmatched. What the fuck are these people even on about. Hip-hop died so garbage like this could walk the earth.

ONEWE – Ferris wheel

The greenery on set is a clever way to tuck the cables away and make it look neat without making things look too fake, but the tripping hazard has to be tremendous.

n.SSign feat. PEAK & PITCH – Funky like me

This is someone older than me imagining what “funk” sounds like just by reading a Wikipedia page.

Hi-Fi Un!corn – Super Duper

Nice and fast but the children’s TV show vibes in the melody and harmony choice kill all the potential.

DxS – Blue

Lots of people crying and being miserable here in this crappy Seventeen subunit ballad. Don’t press play or you’ll become one of them.

LIGHTSUM – Beautiful Pain

Just look at the thumbnail. I don’t even need to listen to it to know that this is crap. Neither do you.

Inseong – Mute is Off

Poo song but the video does mrds

Bora – Muffler

This girl was from Cherry Bullet and she’s gone to where all D-list girl group members go if they want a solo career after their group shits the bed – straight to ballad hell.

Zico x Crush – Yin and Yang

Look at these idiots. It’s enough to make you want to call the authorities on your golden phone.

Xiihu – Did I

Her last song was great, this one not quite so much but it’s still interesting and she definitely got the visuals right.

Kim Dahyun – Black Swan

No not the camera-spotting Dahyun, but some trot Dahyun. Serious nugu alert vibes in this video but it’s already over 100k views and rising so it’s already disqualified. Song’s not too bad actually because it doesn’t lean into the trot cliches 100% but modernises the sound and melody a little.

Sohyang – Moving On

The kind of awful music that only someone like Sohyang can do. Yes it takes skill and talent, but so does straining out a perfectly round shit, doesn’t mean I want to eat it.

Cloudkreme – Rang

On the other hand this isn’t bad at all. Creativity > talent.

CLAVE – Sign

Average-ass song slightly helped by decent guitar work. There needs to be a moratorium on “road-worn” electric guitars though.

Leevisa and Ejae – Reconstruction 2026

Ejae is clearly someone borne from the blood of the nugu. Straight after smashing the world’s charts with Kpop Demon Hunters she’s back to doing songs with her friends for ten bucks and some pizza. She strikes me as someone cool who is serious about music and not about bullshit fame or whatever.

Fugazi – Waiting Room

Random music pick of the week, Fugazi were definitely one of the best bands I’ve ever seen live, and this video captures why they were so great pretty well. Rarely have I seen an entire room all the way to the back vibing like Fugazi managed to do it. I saw them on two occasions and they were great both times… and cheap! (As a group born from a community-minded punk ethos, they put their money where their mouth was and made a point of selling albums, merch and concert tickets as cheaply as possible.) The vid even goes some way towards showing just how utterly amazing their drummer was, aside from being super-tight I fondly remember his insistence of having a bell on stage and incorporating it into songs in really clever ways.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

Davie504 – Kpop Demon Hunters but it’s on BASS

The fact he has to use harmonics to get to the high notes on the bass shows just how insane the pitch range of the song really is. Maybe I’ll do some bass covers this year. Or not. We’ll see.

eunvaise – the WORST kpop songs of 2025

No opinion on this list but I’m just impressed that someone else besides me has enough guts to even make a worst list. After all we know what k-pop fans are like.

CHI CHI – Love Is Energy

Chi Chi are a long-forgotten second-generation group (if you even believe in such things) and “Love Is Energy” seems pretty simple, pleasant and straightforward enough… that is, until the song hits the mandatory-for-the-era dubstep breakdown and everything turns to colossal amounts of shit. It’s always best to do one simple thing well, rather than “one simple thing well plus fuck it let’s shoehorn in the latest trend, what could possibly go wrong”.


That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!



Thursday, 15 January 2026

The results of the 2025 Kpopalypse end of year survey!

It’s time to check in on the results of the 2025 Kpopalypse end of year survey!

The end of year survey at Kpopalypse.com was a thing! Let’s take a look at the results!

Question 1: What is your favourite k-pop song for 2025?

This was readers’ favourite picks of the year. Green highlights show a pick that was also on the Kpopalypse 30 favourites of 2025 list, dark blue is for my #1 pick and light blue is for songs that got on the honourable mentions list. NMIXX sure had a big year in 2025, not only taking out the number one spot, but also having six of their songs in the reader top 30, I’m pretty sure that’s a record for single-group representation!

Question 2: What is your least favourite k-pop song for 2025?

Here’s the worst list rankings for readers. In addition to the colours above, the red colour indicates a song that was also on the Kpopalypse worst 30 songs of 2025 list, and purple is my pick for worst song of the year. Voting numbers stop after a certain point because after a while the numbers get a bit hazy given the lack of votes. All Day Project certainly scoop the award for least popular group, with three entries in the readers’ worst picks including the #1 spot! Huntrix’ “Golden” from Kpop Demon Hunters and Blackpink’s “Jump” definitely were the most divisive songs of 2025, placing respectably on both sides of the fence!

Question 3: What song will be #1 on Kpopalypse’s favourites list for 2025?

Several readers predicted a repeat of last year’s Chuustorm, however it was not to be. Good guesses overall! Of course reading roundup makes it easier…

Question 4: What song will be #1 on Kpopalypse’s worst of 2025 list?

Odd Youth’s “I Like You” was actually the #2 pick with Kpopalypse but it was the #1 for readers guessing the worst list result! Stan Roland The Farter. Interestingly, Meovv’s “Meow” traumatised so many readers a while back that quite a few of you voted for it this year even though it was released in 2024.

Question 5: What completely amazing k-pop track that kicked ass this year will Kpopalypse take a big fat dump on for no clear reason?

You all thought I was going to shit on Nmixx this year but it was not to be, as Nmixx had a great year overall and “Blue Valentine” even made it to the honourables list. In fact none of these songs walking around with big fat targets on their backs were smacked by Kpopalypse this year.

Question 6: What total waste of time trash k-pop song will be riding high on Kpopalypse’s favourites list just to annoy you?

Katseye was the clear winner of the “oh no not THAT song, the cunt actually likes it” category, scooping up a very large chunk of the votes, which is why this list has so few entries in it.

Question 7: Clearing house picks!

You can see all of the clearing house suggestions (or at least most of those that were valid) over at the clearing house roundup post for 2025!

Question 8: If you have anything else to say, you could put it here if you wanted. Or if not, then don’t. Have a great Christmas and New Year, caonima!

Some selected responses, and my replies!

songs this year are mostly so ass i have to crawl back to those great april songs to cope, btw merry christmas and happy new year kpopalypse, and please keep posting weekly roundups so that i have something to expect every week tysm

Will do!

This year was one of the times I had MANY times self-reflecting and I thought… What happens if I was a lesbian kpopalypse oppar’s readers? Surely I’d be into someone like Jeongyeon, but no. I’m into Shindong cause I’m a male and that sucks, but better to be into bigger men I guess. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Kpopalypse oppar! From gay caonima.

Often people wonder what happens if they were a lesbian Kpopalypse readers. I think on some level, we are all a lesbian Kpopalypse readers.

It’s been just over 10 years since I got heavy into kpop, which means I’ve been reading your blog for almost a decade! let’s continue to make beautiful memories together oppar

Thanks to all the people who continue to read!

I had my first real breakup this year with a guy who I don’t even think ever cared about me. I think he just wanted to get in my pants and then said he ‘needed space’ when I wanted things to be serious. Anyway, I never realized that breakups made everything so weird. Our mutual friends don’t really talk to me anymore, and some of them have just ghosted me while saying that things are good. It’s all so confusing. I feel like I was really happy with him and now everything feels hollow. But also freeing at the same time, like I have the rest of my life to live out. I just want to wake up one day and stop thinking about him/worrying about whether he’s okay or not, because from the way he treated me, I know he doesn’t give a shit about my feelings.

It’ll come with time. In the meantime hopefully I can distract you with stupid posts.

Thanks for another year of blistering hot takes oppa

Thanks for reading!

I usually have no problem filling out this survey completely every year. This year I could hardly remember any songs either good or bad. What a bland year.

Yes, it was definitely a bit like that. I hope my lists helped in the end!

I can’t stop reading Mike and Will from gay Stranger Things fanfics

Noted.

Yeah basically this year I dedicated less time than ever to kpop in general including unfortunately the Kpopalypse website. That’s not because I don’t have the time but because I’m managing it very poorly and wasting a lot of it on bullshit (yes, even more bullshit stuff than listening to kpop, the bar is that low). I hope to get better again. I want to work on that. To a better year, thanks for always being here for us.

Thanks for continuing to drop by, even if it’s less often!

apparently there are country Christmas songs (i work in retail and have been subjected to them against my will) and I refuse to bear the burden of that knowledge alone

We don’t talk about the country christmas songs.

I’ve been a passive/casual reader for a while now, but for some reason I started paying more attention to your posts and streams this year. Now I really look forward to my Sunday afternoon dose of k-pop, and am pleasantly surprised during the week when a new post comes out! Thank you for posting.

Thank you! And big thanks to all my passive/casual readers out there who never interact. You are definitely appreciated!

i always say this, but kudos to you for keeping up with this blog. i am not sure whether people realise how hard it is to do something consistently and with integrity for a long time. it takes a true caonima to rise to such challange. thanks for making sure that the kpop circlejerk has always one person capable of critical thinking and posting trufax. nothing but the best wishes for you, your partner and ofc last but not least your cat. may the upcoming year be kinder to you than the previous one and may you have to deal with less trashy kpop releases and boring ballads. cheers to that!

Thanks for reading! Yes it can be a struggle sometimes! However I have no plans to quit. Eventually I’ll die in a kitty stampede or while gooning to that one picture of Eunjung’s ass in a sailor outfit especially being an old fuck as I am, but until then I plan to keep posting!

I have been your reader for a decade now. I have graduated uni, gotten a job, been promoted, moved 5 times and will soon be engaged. I don’t listen to as much KPop these days, however, I still like to spend every New Year’s afternoon reading your Best Of lists and listening to all the good stuff I missed this year. To many more years together caonima 🙂

Thank you for continuing to read! Hopefully your partner likes this site too, but if not, there’s always divorce!

only cry in the rain and reality hurts top 10 songs of the year or else youre bald(oh wait…)

My hair fell out in advance many years prior, after my hair follicles’ ESP powers detected that I wouldn’t put Chuu in the top 10 for 2025.

Gracias por tus posts de este año! Saludos desde la tierra del taco.

Mexican is actually my girlfriend’s favourite food, so thanks for that! You are now officially responsible for all Mexican food.

Love you. Keep it up. Thanks for being a volunteer therapist for a bunch of 20 year olds on Qrimole. Take care. See you at the annual objectification survey (see big titty shit above). God I’m old

Me too! Thanks for reading!

I do believe you are my hoobae. Beat 61, Son. One day, maybe we will eat together. Whilst I may get to eat first, I will be forced to pay for the lot. Remember that. Happy Christmas Caonima. Finger heart.

uwu

fun fact of the day: less severe strains of malaria used to be used to treat patients with syphilis but then they had to stop because (predictably) the malarial strains got More severe

Thanks for sharing! Stay safe and malaria/syphilis-free, caonimas!

Boobs

That’s all for this post! Kpopalypse will return!



Monday, 12 January 2026

Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 12/1/2026

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

NewJeans fans have started leaning on YouTuber MrBeast to save the group (although how exactly he’s supposed to do that while they’re in legal limbo is uncertain). He seemed pretty confused by even a basic overview of what’s happening, he should really read kpopalypse.com to get up to speed.

Chuu – XO, My Cyberlove

A somewhat tone-deaf song conceptually, singing about “my cyberlove” right at the peak of global AI hate (I lie, it’ll only go up from here folks) plus pushing some oddly heterosexual vibes, it’s clear that her label are a bit clueless as to Chuu’s appeal. It’s still a great song anyway with shades of Fifty Fifty’s “SOS” so my boring heterosexual AI-bot-making ass will take it.

TARZZAN – Medusa

Tarzzan making a play for a 1-2 punch on the 2025 and 2026 worst of k-pop lists. I’m not sure if this is enough though, as there’s some nice sounds at the very end (and nice hairstyles too uwu), although to be fair you do have to listen to two minutes of some of the worst mumble-ass nonsense imaginable to get there. So you never know where this could end up.

YOUNG POSSE x Benzo – Lose Your Shxt

Messy but ballsy enough to work. Could have done without the male rapping and the lame singing sections, and the AI slop cat does not mrcs, but apart from that, we’re good.

LATENCY – It Was Love

It’s good to see Jiwon/Jeewon/Zzone/Yura Oguna’s martial arts sparring partner/(insert whatever she’s calling herself next week here) and friends rocking but the song isn’t that exciting, coming off like an AOA B-side from 2014.

Jimin – 0108

Speaking of which, the original squeaky k-pop girl rocker herself isn’t even up to AOA filler track standard here, boringly moping along with nary a “hey” in sight.

IVE – Beats

This missed the Christmas songs but it’s just as much of a waste of time as anything in that list so just don’t bother.

ALPHA DRIVE ONE – Freak Alarm

These group names, geez. There’s nothing in this song which justifies such a name, this is typical retro 90s style boy pop by numbers.

CNBLUE – Killer Joy

Not bad but it’s definitely missing something. I mean, besides the ex-member who was in Burning Sun chatrooms… although on second thought maybe that’s exactly what it’s missing, a second guitar would have helped. Perhaps get someone else to do it though, maybe Jeewon can join and get some practice in.

1MILLION – At Us

Just a dance track, nothing more, which I guess is the point. The dances look good too, but I don’t know shit about dancing or care about it really so this is all pretty lost on me.

Waker – Like That

They definitely sound like wakers to me. The songwriters should have spent less time waking off and more time trying to write a song better than this… okay, I’m just being a waker, it’s not that bad really. It’s not that good either.

ONE OR EIGHT – Power

Not much power here. Someone should have turned the power off.

COMMA – Toxic Sugar

Not much of interest here either but it’s impressive that this clearly nugu boy group can make a song just as average as all the A-list boy groups this week.

DanJerous – Winter Door

Christian horse girls except it’s a duo and one of them is a guy. Apparently this brother-sister dance duo has been around for a while but I think this is their first original song and it’s… pretty average to be honest, but it’s still better than most of what else we’ve got.

HADES – Planet B

A well-named group because this is definitely the spawn of satan.

AESTHER – Starlight

Going for that “Golden” feel but the songwriting isn’t there and the CGI isn’t there either. Another Kpopalypse prediction comes true?

Xita, Swervy – Broken Survivor

This semi-grunge semi-rap thing shouldn’t work, but it definitely does. What’s even more surprising is that Swervy fits it like a glove.

Hongjoong – No1

Lots of boy solos this week and I’m going to delete them from roundup mostly because your time is worth more than that. Here’s just one to make you feel grateful that I removed the others.

Bada – Our Loud Goodbye

Bada desecrates Kim Lip’s missile silo with an awful ballad nobody wants to hear.

Loco – Radio

The more years pass between Loco and T-ara’s Hyomin collaborating, the further he strays from the light.

BIG Naughty feat. Gary – Sincere Lies

Someone threw this guy down a well to shut him up but unfortunately he kept singing.

Dynamic Duo feat. Sunghoon of Enhypen – Watch It, Feel It

Dynamic Duo being boring again.

Suspix – TV TV

Some kind of stab at an 80s new wave thing and it’s not too bad but it’s just a bit bland and won’t make you throw out your Devo records.

Xiihu – Cold Hands

Hey this is really good, texturally different, cool sounds, great song, great video. Recommended, but nobody will listen to it probably because they’re into some dicksucking trash music instead.

IGORR – Headbutt

When extreme metal meets extreme classical art wank, this is what you get. It’s pretty fucking good actually, enjoy this week’s random music pick. Now THIS is how you do a change-up.

Sugar Rain – I am a cat

mrcs

THE “FOR THE FANS” DUMPING GROUND

ZEROBASEONE (ZB1) – Running to Future

Some lame “for the fans” crap.

Stray Kids – Stay

More lame “for the fans” crap.

Yena – It Was Love

Even more lame “for the fans” crap.

Billlie – A Hope Song

Oh my god will the “for the fans” crap stop this week. I hope for less of this stuff and more songs for normal people again please. Also whatever happened to early Billlie, now that was a vibe that was thrown out into the agency dumpster for no good reason.

P1Harmony – Dancing Queen

Make it stop please. Can we have a group make a song telling their fans to fuck off for a change. Sex Pistols used to spit on them, GG Allin would attack them, I want some of that energy in k-pop. It’s boring in punk music because it’s such a cliche in that scene, but in k-pop it’d honestly be refreshing at this point.

Yoyomi – Nanda Yoyomi

Even Yoyomi is getting in on the act, with  her “for the fans” song being some children’s-TV-tier nonsense, she must think her fans are all either 8 or 80.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

CelebExplainer – Adele is doing better than Katseye

There are SO many “Katseye are so over, pinky swear” videos out there right now. I just picked a random one to show you. I mean “Internet Girl” is hardly great but damn, it’s also hardly that shit that it’s worth making this amount of fuss over. Here’s some brain genius who thinks Katseye should “showcase their skills more”, which basically translated means “make lifeless R&B with token high notes to show how good you can sing instead of making a song people will actually like, because I’m a fuckwit who thinks music is sport”. Just as well for his incredible pop music management expertise and know-how… oh wait, no, it’s just some random know-nothing just like every pop writer ever, never mind.

You still our No. 1 BoA

I guess this is a goodbye video from BoA timed to coincide with her departure from SM Entertainment and make you feel all nostalgic for how she was frankly being wasted for a sizeable portion of her contract length. Interestingly much of this video focuses on the debut-age BoA, she debuted underage in one of the most notoriously dodgy companies ever, paving the way for your faves.

Lee Hyori – CittyChitty BangBang

Not the best song from Lee Hyori but it sure makes me nostalgic for the golden age of k-pop video creation. Any new artist would go straight to the AI slop machine to make a video like this, and it would come out looking generic and boring. Back in the day things had rough edges, but they were fun. Until the architects of AI are put in the stocks in the town square we’ll never have those times again.


That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!



Saturday, 10 January 2026

The 2025 Kpopalypse Awards

It’s the return of the only k-pop related awards that matter – it’s time for kpopalypse.com to check out who is punching who in the face for alopecia jokes at the 2025 Kpopalypse Awards!

THE 2025 KPOPALYPSE AWARDS

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THE KPOPALYPSE “I LIKEY LIKEY DIS TEAR” KOREAN NETIZEN TEAR EXTRACTION AND PRESERVATION AWARD 2025

Who specifically made Korean fans cry hardest in 2025?

Nominees:

Hyuna – for doing nothing in particular in front of a camera and upsetting everyone anyway

Karina (aespa) – for doing nothing in particular in front of a camera and upsetting everyone anyway

NewJeans – for doing nothing in particular in front of a camera in a courtroom and upsetting everyone anyway

Blackpink – for blocking the camera view and upsetting everyone anyway

and the winner is:

KARINA

Always winning at life, Karina also wins the Korean fan butthurt category yet again! Heavy is the head that wears the ‘it girl’ crown, and Karina upset a whole bunch of Koreans for supposedly showing support for right-wing political parties, but it was more likely that they were just jealous because they couldn’t count to 2 or remember what the colour red looked like. Congratulations Karina, for being the best children’s TV educator in k-pop!


THE KPOPALYPSE “I LIKEY LIKEY DAT TEAR” GLOBAL K-POP NETIZEN TEAR EXTRACTION AND PRESERVATION AWARD 2025

Who specifically made international fans cry hardest in 2025?

Nominees:

NewJeans – for losing at court but winning at annoying k-pop fans

Park Bom (2NE1) – for drunk-texting YG her latest romance novel drafts

Kiss Of Life – for partying hard

W Korea – for partying even harder

and the winner is:

W KOREA

As last year’s winners of this category NewJeans proved, k-pop fans sure have a boner for their favourite idols doing exactly what they’re told by management at all times without question, and if the fans fall out of step with the company line all it takes is a bit of subtle social media nudging to reel them back in. However it seems that when that instruction is “go to a breast cancer charity event and help yourself to the complimentary bon-bons” all that desire for corporate compliance goes right out the window. How dare your favourite idols follow the instructions of their companies and attend token corporate wank “charity” party events that achieve nearly nothing for their stated causes, just like all your western faves freely do so they can pad out the “philanthropy” sections of their Wikipedia pages. Why didn’t they exercise their incredible amounts of autonomy and choice, something the k-pop system is so well known for? I guess they weren’t rebels in their hearts.


THE KPOPALYPSE “I LIKE DIS LIKE DAT YEAH” K-RAP CREDIBILITY AWARD 2025

Who had the freshest, flyest hip-hop style of 2025?

Nominees:

Katseye – for having the most controversial rap hit of 2025 that had no actual rap in it

Illit – for shaming rappers out of their entire careers

Kiss Of Life – for remembering that hip-hop is also a cultural movement

Go Won (ex-Loossemble) – for doing none of the above

and the winner is:

KATSEYE

Thanks to all you people constantly spamming western music at me because you think I’m Westernpopalypse for some reason, my YouTube algorithm has learned all your useless links and is now filled to the brim with bullshit videos from western pop and rap pundits who I don’t give a single fuck about instead of the k-pop that I actually have YouTube for in the first place. That’s how I found out that Katseye went absolutely nuclear with “Gnarly” this year in all the right ways. The complaining about some porn-flick moan nobody even noticed until it was pointed out to them may have seemed excessive, but trust me that it paled into comparison to the amount of whining from western pop pundits that Katseye was “killing hip-hop” and a new low bar for absolutely everything. Hey if it’s even still breathing at this point, I give Katseye permission to put western hip-hop out of its misery.


THE KPOPALYPSE “SHUBIDUBI SHALALALA URIDURI YAYAYAYA” CROSS-CULTURAL K-POP SENSITIVITY AWARD 2025

Who raised more awareness of cultural sensitivities than any other idol in 2025?

Nominees:

Junhan (Xdinary Heroes) – for sharing his thoughts on the “other” MBTI

Kiss Of Life – for partying hard

Jungkook (BTS) – for making k-pop fashion great again

MC Mong – for providing the final solution to idols’ interior decorating needs

and the winner is:

KISS OF LIFE

In the least surprising result of the year, Kiss Of Life scooped the coveted “cultural sensitivity” awards, and you’d better believe the girls are pretty sensitive and bruised about culture at this point after copping a beating from every k-pop fan who didn’t want to miss a chance to be performatively outraged for c-word. I don’t think anyone would blame any of the girls for doubling-down and starting the world’s first neo-Nazi k-pop group, given that supposedly “progressive” k-pop fans are all convinced that the girls are all basically Hitler and there’s no path to redemption for them, so they have nothing to lose. They could run with their new audience if they wanted, but the boring reality is probably that there’s no ideology or thought behind any of it and the girls are just thick as two planks, so you can probably look forward to them fucking up again somehow soon. In the meantime I hope this award makes them feel a bit better.


THE KPOPALYPSE “C’MON C’MON MAKE IT, C’MON C’MON TAKE IT” AWARD FOR STUNNING ACHIEVEMENT IN THE FIELD OF K-POP GENDER RELATIONS 2025

Who did more to highlight important gender issues in k-pop in 2025?

Nominees:

Solar (Mamamoo) – for proving that mandatory miltiary service is an equal opportunity employer

NewJeans – for being the first females in Korea to win a sexual harrassment case ever

Jay Park – for singing about breasts at a beast cancer awareness event

Junhwan (IDID) – for proving he’s got what it takes to be a k-pop video director

and the winner is:

JAY PARK

W Korea’s event for raising awareness of breast cancer was certainly criticised, and some of those crticisms singled out Jay Park’s performance of “Mommae” at the event. Lyrics of the ten-year old song include the lines “I don’t know what our relationship is / but I’d like to be introduced to the twins hanging on your chest” and “What does it taste like / all natural peaches and melons” which definitely show that Jay is raising awareness of breasts, so he’s certainly at least part of the way towards raising awareness of breast cancer. You’ve got to crawl before you can walk, folks. He also performed at the event while injured on crutches, for no fee, so arguably this is the most charitable thing he’s done since he started a free OnlyFans and sent my girlfriend that complimentary bottle of soju… oh hang on, I’m still waiting for that bottle. Damn, hurry up, Jay.


THE KPOPALYPSE “BLING BLING JEWELRY CHAIN” 2025 AWARD FOR THE K-POP PERFORMER MOST WILLING TO GO THE EXTRA MILE TO PAY OFF THEIR TRAINEE DEBTS

Who paid down their company debts in the boldest, most daring ways in 2025?

Nominees:

Park Bom (2NE1) – for suing for that $4.5 quadrillion bag

NewJeans – for attempting to nullify their contract using the little-known “taking my bat and ball and going to Antarctica” clause

Yiren (Everglow) – for using social media pressure to try and scrape a coin out of her agency

Sunmi – for rugpulling the fuck out of her fans NFT style

and the winner is:

PARK BOM

When taking legal action against an old agency, it can be tough to set a price for compensation and damages. Legal cases usually look at payouts in terms of “lost potential earnings”, but this requires some forward estimation – how do you truly know your own potential? People have been worried about Park Bom’s mental health but her self-esteem at least must be sky-high given that she stated that she would sue YG Entertainment for the equivalent of 4.5 quadrillion dollars, which is about 35 times the current global GDP. Clearly she thinks her potential is future ruler of the entire solar system, and to that I say – why the fuck not. There’s enough meek k-pop performers moping along with no pay to speak of, might as well aim for the stars.


THE KPOPALYPSE “T-ARA LOVE” AWARD FOR THE 2025 K-POP GIRL GROUP DEBUT ABLE TO GENERATE THE MOST HATE FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON OTHER THAN BEING ATTRACTIVE FEMALES THAT OTHER LESS ATTRACTIVE FEMALES ARE JEALOUS OF

Who was the most fearless rookie girl-group punching-bag of 2025?

Nominees:

Hearts2hearts – supposedly hated for some scandals no-one cares about, but really hated because they dared to debut and show their faces

KiiiKiii – supposedly hated for some scandals no-one cares about, but really hated because they dared to debut and show their faces

Baby Don’t Cry – supposedly hated for some scandals no-one cares about, but really hated because they dared to debut and show their faces

AtHeart – supposedly hated for some scandals no-one cares about, but really hated because they dared to debut and show their faces

and the winner is:

BABY DON’T CRY

This year’s debut girl group scandals were mainly the usually bullying nonsense, but Baby Don’t Cry stuck out, as their scandal revolved around people thinking that the F in their song “F Girl” stood for something sexual, which was a concern to some because of the very young age of the girls in the group. Of course I could not think of any words beginning with F that could be considered sexual in any way and neither could their label, who quickly moved to clarify that there was nothing fucking sexual about the song whatsoever, but I’m sure some fetishistic faggot bitches (hi Zico) somewhere will come up with fucking something while flirtatiously fondling their flaccid foreskins. We hope that the label protects these girls from the frotteurism of these freakishly flaggelating fake fans. It’s nothing sexual, it’s just a song about getting an F on your school report card because you’re a fucking failure and you don’t give a fuck, which is very caonima and Australian of them, so Kpopalypse says “fair dinkum“!


THE KPOPALYPSE “BO PEEP BO PEEP” AWARD FOR HIGHLIGHTING LACK OF K-POP FAN CRITICAL THINKING 2025

Who did more to reveal the stupidity of k-pop fans than anybody else in 2025?

Nominees:

NewJeans – for losing at court but winning at sightseeing

Kiss Of Life – for partying hard

Karina (aespa) – for teaching netizens how to identify colours and count just like Sesame Street

Winter (aespa) – for following in the footsteps of Karina’s dating hate

and the winner is:

WINTER

Last year Karina kicked up a storm by daring to be a normal person and have a dating life, which outraged everyone and for some reason she copped all the hate instead of him, and this forced her to grovel and write handwritten apology letters like she had just thrown an old-school hip-hop party. Somehow this groveling managed to placate people to the point where Karina can still have a career which is nice, but this year groupmate Winter went and did the same old thing, and then fans did the same old thing and blamed her because they’re misogynist shits, and then Winter wrote a handwritten letter, no wait she didn’t do anything of the sort, that’s the spirit Winter, good work, don’t clarify, don’t explain, and don’t apologise for getting dicked down! It’s 2025 and we’re all feminists now or something, that means that grown women should be able to enjoy BTS boy cock if they want to and everyone else gets to shut up and deal with it.


That’s all for the 2025 Kpopalypse Awards!  We hope that you have enjoyed tonight’s presentation! Please make your way out of the auditorium quietly without disturbing the neighbours, as they’re probably busy learning to count to 2! Kpopalypse will return!